Random strangers asking my baby's name / chatting to them way too close

[sinkorsplash]

It's become a regular occurance, but when I'm out with my DD (4 months) and she's out of her pram, random people come over, and want to chat / hold her hand / ask me her name, how old she is. Occasionally there's the OTT question of 'how was your birth / where was she born etc which I just ignore, but the other ones unnerve me and I don't know if I'm reasonable to want to keep her name / age private with strangers?

A couple of months ago a stranger STROKED HER CHEEK and I went ape at her - she was crying and the stranger was trying to 'help' as I paid for petrol, and that put me on edge.

But it's become relentless - twice this week, three times last week and the week before when out in cafe's, the park, swimming, etc.

What it is about babies that make people think it's ok to talk to you, share personal stories and personal information. I just want to swear at them or run away!

I've started giving her a fake name to randoms, and changing her age, but it's making me want to not go out at all or into cafe's or shops or anything.

Is it acceptable to say just Go away, or F off?
Or is it just politeness and I need to get over myself.

Any other tips welcome.

@Santaischeckinglists

Imagine how poor Mary dealt with all the attention her dc got!!

One of my recent pleasures in life is chatting to (generally older ladies) people in the supermarket when I've got my three week old with me. I think people get genuine pleasure from having a peep and a chat to a tiny person. Mind you I quite happily talk to people if they initiate it anyway so maybe my starting point is different.

I just think of my nan who, if it's a rare day where there's no family visitor or the window cleaner or whatever, that little chat in the shop to a friendly face might be the only human contact she gets. If she wants to ask how old a baby is I don't see any harm in that, she's hardly going to steal her identity and take out a credit card in her name, is she.

People used to ask my baby's name and chat to her. I told them. Never occurred to me not to. People still ask but she's old enough to tell them herself now! It's usually older people at bus stops. Doesn't bother me.

You are seriously asking if it is acceptable to tell people to f##k off? Really?

A couple of months ago a stranger STROKED HER CHEEK and I went ape at her - she was crying

Please see your GP. For your sake and your daughter's. Not to mention the sake of the next kind stranger that you'll make cry.

You really really worry me. Do you have a partner? Have you told him about this?

@sinkorsplash

It's become a regular occurance, but when I'm out with my DD (4 months) and she's out of her pram, random people come over, and want to chat / hold her hand / ask me her name, how old she is. Occasionally there's the OTT question of 'how was your birth / where was she born etc which I just ignore, but the other ones unnerve me and I don't know if I'm reasonable to want to keep her name / age private with strangers?

A couple of months ago a stranger STROKED HER CHEEK and I went ape at her - she was crying and the stranger was trying to 'help' as I paid for petrol, and that put me on edge.

But it's become relentless - twice this week, three times last week and the week before when out in cafe's, the park, swimming, etc.

What it is about babies that make people think it's ok to talk to you, share personal stories and personal information. I just want to swear at them or run away!

I've started giving her a fake name to randoms, and changing her age, but it's making me want to not go out at all or into cafe's or shops or anything.

Is it acceptable to say just Go away, or F off?
Or is it just politeness and I need to get over myself.

Any other tips welcome.

My tip is stay indoors

Be grateful some people take an interest in you and your baby - some new mums would love that

Aww I remember going out with DD and there being a group of old ladies having coffee and they were so excited to look in the pram and speak to DD and ask about her. People just like babies! Babies make people smile.

I mostly agree with other posters - it's annoying but normal.

But I think touching her face is outrageous, I'd never just stroke some random kid's face. Really weird.

I would be so so sad if you told me to fuck if after making polite conversation about your baby. I was so lonely and isolated with my baby when he was that small (cheers covid!) that I love anyone talking to me about him. I’m so bloody proud to be a mum and the reflected glory that comes with it that I am now one of those who you seem to hate

"I just want to swear at them or run away!

I've started giving her a fake name to randoms, and changing her age, but it's making me want to not go out at all or into cafe's or shops or anything.

Is it acceptable to say just Go away, or F off?
Or is it just politeness and I need to get over myself."

I would say you either just need to get over yourself OR I would suggest that you are not very well.

If you don't usually act in such a manner I would suggest speaking to a doctor.

People are just trying be nice OP. I get that sometimes you just want to be left alone but you don't need to give false names and ages etc.

Crikey, I deliberately talk to new babies and their mums, briefly, because being a mum, especially a first time mum, can be lonely.

Touching I wouldn’t be overly happy with but not to the point I’d say anything, just give them a quick wipe and be done with it.

I feel a bit sad, people just want to talk to you about your lovely child. That’s not a bad thing.

Me too @Jjjayfee

Yes YABVU. Your reaction to kindly intentioned strangers is entirely disproportionate. How can telling anyone your baby's name and age be dangerous or even problematic. Do you never tell people your own name when asked? Will you never publicly call your daughter's name out when she is older eg when you are in the park? You sound irrational at best and mentally unwell at worst. I think you need to chat to a healthcare professional before you reach a crisis.

This has got to be a wind up.

Erm no it's not acceptable to say go away or f off when someone asks your baby's name.

This sounds like an anxiety issue that you can get help for.

Maybe go to some baby groups to gradually acclimatise to how people interact with parents and babies?

No it's not acceptable to tell people to fuck off when they're trying to be nice to your baby.

I really disliked this with my first, although not to the extent it seems to bother you. My second was born in the winter lock down and I felt so sad that he didn't have any of that. I actually missed it.
People are drawn to babies. Just take a deep breath and smile.

My children were the most beautiful babies on the planet, of course the world and their dog wanted to coo over them and tell me how gorgeous they were

I doubt OP will be back, but really, if you do come back please take note. This is not normal in your outlook on people politely commenting on your baby or trying to help, what may have looked like a stressed Mum, by calming a crying baby as Mum paid for fuel.

I dont know if you have PND or if you're not being a very nice person. But, you need to calm down!