Random strangers asking my baby's name / chatting to them way too close

[sinkorsplash]

It's become a regular occurance, but when I'm out with my DD (4 months) and she's out of her pram, random people come over, and want to chat / hold her hand / ask me her name, how old she is. Occasionally there's the OTT question of 'how was your birth / where was she born etc which I just ignore, but the other ones unnerve me and I don't know if I'm reasonable to want to keep her name / age private with strangers?

A couple of months ago a stranger STROKED HER CHEEK and I went ape at her - she was crying and the stranger was trying to 'help' as I paid for petrol, and that put me on edge.

But it's become relentless - twice this week, three times last week and the week before when out in cafe's, the park, swimming, etc.

What it is about babies that make people think it's ok to talk to you, share personal stories and personal information. I just want to swear at them or run away!

I've started giving her a fake name to randoms, and changing her age, but it's making me want to not go out at all or into cafe's or shops or anything.

Is it acceptable to say just Go away, or F off?
Or is it just politeness and I need to get over myself.

Any other tips welcome.

Perhaps it goes one of two ways for us new pandemic mums (it was such a weird time to have a kid!)

I adore people talking to my baby and asking questions. It makes my day. Probably because I appreciate it even more for not having it in the first few months. I can see why you might go the opposite way and feel anxious though.

A nice way to handle well meaning people could be to explain that you’re a pandemic mum and feel nervous about people being close?

Of course its not bonkers to feel like that. It's natural to want to protect your baby. But other people aren't bonkers either, as I said up thread, people love babies and its also quite natural to coo over them or otherwise fuss. I took dd on the train from London to Leeds when she was 3 months old to see my GPs. The others near me looked slightly terrified when they saw I had a little baby but she was good and by the end of the journey they had all offered to hold her for a bit if I needed the loo, or a cup of tea. I wasn't so willing to hand her over though....

Oh gosh, I am that person who talks to all the babies. (Also to all the dogs.) I never touch though.

@HipsHipsHooray

Seriously? I used to love people talking to me when I had small DC Just snarl at people if they're in a 5 foot radius of you and your crotch fruit, that'll keep them at bay and save the 'Fuck Offs' for those that get a bit closer 🤷‍♀️

"Crotch fruit"? That's the most bizarre and horrible way of describing a baby that I've ever read.

@NothingSafe

I mostly agree with other posters - it's annoying but normal.

But I think touching her face is outrageous, I'd never just stroke some random kid's face. Really weird.

I agree! I didnt mind people coming up to say hi but hated when people would try to touch my son. The problem is though is that you dont know if they will just say hello and move on which made me anxious. An elderly man once came over whilst i was i was in a queue and touched my sons new tooth as he looked 'cute' 

Jesus @toddlermom1 that's horrible! Who puts their hand in someone's else's baby's mouth!?

I think it's really weird that people in the thread are saying they'd be okay with someone they didn't know stroking their baby unprompted - surely it's not acceptable to go and, I don't know, stroke a random 6 year old... why is a baby fair game?

I feel really sorry for your baby
If you don’t seek some professional help your daughter mmight be on the stately home boards in the future asking if she needs to go no contact with you because of your behaviour which is not normal in anyway

You were brave to come back and accept that it's your anxiety causing this @sinkorsplash.

But do please take on board that this really is excessive, and that your response to that woman (you made her cry!) was definitely worrying. Given your own anxiety, how would you feel if you expressed kindness to a stranger and they screamed at you and made you cry?

So please, please see your GP or health visitor. You're not the first person by a long way, to find that their anxiety is exacerbated by having a baby. They'll understand and they'll try to help.

Oh, sorry. I might have misunderstood and it was the baby crying. But either way, you "going ape" at a stranger who was just trying to help is really concerning.

I totally understand that sentiment! I've had weird men that barely speak English randomly asking for my babies name and age and even coming up and trying to talk to him whether I'm out with him or even when his dad takes him out?! Pisses me off.