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My therapist fired me

427 replies

RaineyMae · 23/06/2021 18:28

We had an agreement that I was allowed to email (with paid for reading time).

The content of one batch of emails got emotive and she took it as criticism.

Fired me by email on the grounds that I am ‘overwhelming’.

Ghosted my apology for upsetting her and my request for a termination session.

AIBU to feel hard done by?

OP posts:
Anothermother3 · 24/06/2021 17:18

Hi OP I hope your surgery went okay. I just wanted to say that often not having a hood fit of therapist is made to feel like your fault rather than actually the therapist not having the skills you need. Did your therapists have experience working with neurodiverse clients and actually appreciate that you may present information differently as a result. It seems fairly basic therapeutically to know that direct clear information would be necessary and it seems that there was none of that and you really were caught off guard. I don’t think you should feel that you are beyond support I think you need a more experienced therapist. I know starting again will take energy you probably don’t have but there are therapists out there that would be a good fit. I agree not having an ending reflects badly on the therapist and not on you.

LucindaT73 · 24/06/2021 17:50

@RaineyMae I hope your surgery went well. Take time to recover.

I have read some but not all of your posts.

A few comments I have.

I work in a similar field but am not with the BACP. I help clients move forward with their lives.

(You might want to consider working with a psychologist who offers personal development, if you want someone to say 'Go girl!' )

I think your therapist was a little out of order to end things so abruptly.

However, I also think both of you ought to have had a more detailed 'contracting session' at the start. This is when the boundaries are established clearly.

in my case, I allow some email contact but make it clear what that is. For example, one or two short emails between sessions to update me on any major changes before the next session. This time is included in fees. I'd not expect these emails to necessitate anything like an hour of my time and I'd not feel obliged to email back.

I have had clients want sessions at short notice, on the day, sometimes where they have contacted me with an hour or two's notice. I never do this, unless the circumstances are exceptional, like an interview or job offer the same day.

The work I do is supposed to be structured and reflective, where I prepare for a client, not a 'call a friend' when something crops up and a client wants to talk.

Your cancelling of the session and then asking for time on the day was out of order. Therapists have lives of their own- a spare hour in a day can be used for all kinds of things. You can't just snap your fingers and expect your counsellor to jump.

In my work, I always tell clients in my written contract to them, that we will review progress and either of us can end the contract at any time if it's not working for them or me. How this is done, ought to be professional and I'm sorry you felt yours wasn't. But you need to learn from what happened and take your issues to someone else. Choose them carefully.

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