Please someone talk to me

[babyblues21]

I have awful post natal depression and no family around. Me and partner not getting on. I can't get through to my MH support team. My baby is 8 weeks. I'm just sat here alone on the floor with my baby. Someone please talk to me I can't do this anymore

Please dial 111. Tell them
You’re a new mum, your struggling with pnd and you feel like you need help right NOW.

I think my partner hates me

If you feel like your going to harm yourself go straight to a&e if no one is answering. Your a brilliant mum not a bad mum, I’ve been there trust me and I did get better but with therapy and medication and help xx

@ThanksIGotItInMorrisons

Please call for help. The mums you were going to meet - I guarantee at least one of them had felt this. It’s completely universal. There’s nothing wrong with you in that you’re not broken. But you feel broken. And it’s the most difficult feeling. Honest if you were my friend I’d be right there if only you’d tell me - please call a friend to come and support you just now. Can you do that?

I can call my best friend, I know she's got a lot on too right now that's all, I don't want to add to her stress

He doesn’t hate you. Have you dialled 111 yet? They are there for you. Call them
Now.

@ThanksIGotItInMorrisons

Please dial 111. Tell them You’re a new mum, your struggling with pnd and you feel like you need help right NOW.

They might take her off me

Hi @babyblues21

PANDAS Foundation (PND Awareness and Support) has a helpline: 0808 1961 776
pandasfoundation.org.uk/how-we-can-support-you/free-helpline/

Please call them, sounds like you need to talk to someone right now. You've already taken the first, most important step and that's to reach out for help. I hope you can speak to someone ASAP

They will not take a child because you’re getting help. You need help. Would you answer a friends call for help? Because they will answer yours.

You’re definitely not a bad mum for feeling this way. It sounds like you’re looking after your baby really well, and that you deeply care for her. But you’re not looking after yourself! Please don’t feel the need to “put up a front” for other people, especially not for other mums. We get it!

I’ll never forget, when my DC1 was about 10 weeks old, my next door neighbour who had a one year old asked me casually how I was doing. I burst into tears and ended up sobbing on the floor of her living room while she held my baby and fed me chocolate. Four years on, there is zero weirdness between us. There never was, even though we don’t know each other particularly well. I think most people understand how rough the early months are, and give a looooot of grace for big emotions. Don’t be afraid to show how you’re feeling - because connecting with another mum about it really does help tremendously.

@SafferUpNorth

Hi *@babyblues21*

PANDAS Foundation (PND Awareness and Support) has a helpline: 0808 1961 776
pandasfoundation.org.uk/how-we-can-support-you/free-helpline/

Please call them, sounds like you need to talk to someone right now. You've already taken the first, most important step and that's to reach out for help. I hope you can speak to someone ASAP

Please call this helpline OP x

@babyblues21
We are here for you. Call PANDAS or 111. We will still be here for you.

I've got a 7 wk old baby OP and I'm suffering with MH to but for a different reason. You're not alone.
It sounds like your partner is NOT supportive BUT that is not a reason to give up... You just need to get away from him for a bit.
You have no family around but can you get to them or can they come to you? It's kind of an emergency.

Please call samaritans whilst you wait for the other people you've call ed.

ALSO CALL 111 they will have someone call you.

You HAVE to get through this and YOU WILL. xxxxxx

Hi OP,

I’m a new mum too but my baby is 4 weeks older than yours. I was in your situation 4 weeks ago. I didn’t want to leave the house, didn’t want to get in the car, didn’t want to go to sleep because I couldn’t watch her and make sure she was safe etc. I was the same with my partner, not because I didn’t trust him to look after her but because I was so anxious any time she cried. Lots of mums feel like this but you don’t have to keep feeling like this. You can do things to make it better. I went to the doctors and got some anti depressants and it’s really started to help me. I hated the thought of them but the doctor said “you’d take medicine if you had a chest infection, this is just the same”. Please go and see your doctor or go down to A&E. They won’t take your baby girl away. Lots of love to you OP xxxx

No one will separate mum from baby unless she's a serial killer, in fact I'm not even sure in those circumstances they would separate mum from baby!!! From TheMumma to a 7wk old.

Louis Theroux (bad spelling but you know who I mean) did a documentary on mums with severe MH and in the most extreme circumstances you'd get admitted to a mother and baby unit for help and let's face it how great would you that be when your DP is a jerk and you've got no where else to go? Xxxxxxx

OP they will not take your baby, they really wont, worse case scenario they will put you in a mother and baby mental health unit for 24 hour support until you get better.

I've been there and it's so lonely. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Please please call 111 or go into A and E if you truly feel you can't cope, I promise you won't be the first, they're trained to help. It does get better x

Oh luvvy I'm so genuinely sorry to hear you feel this way. I had severe postnatal depression last year when my baby was 16 weeks and was admitted to a mum and baby unit fir 5 weeks. Honestly you are not a bad mother and no one in the world wants to take your baby from you, every medical professional assured me of this and it was true, I just couldn't believe it at the time. Please please reach out to your friends, I wouldn't but my partner did it without me knowing and my friends helped me so so much. I'm out the other side now after being very very close to harming myself or running away and you can come out if it too, it just doesn't feel like it now. Thinking of you

@babyblues21
Still here when you’re call is over x

As others have said, talk to PANDAS, please.
For your reference, OP, and that of anyone else reading for whom it may be useful, I just wanted to add this link as the other day I mentioned about Mother and Baby units - here is a map detailing where they are in the country: www.app-network.org/what-is-pp/getting-help/mbus/
Also general info on seeking urgent help from Action on Postpartum Psychosis: www.app-network.org/what-is-pp/getting-help/

Just on postpartum psychosis, my SIL may have had it - we do not know and she may not have known. It's hard for lay people to determine the extent of an illness, surely. But for severe PND we should be following the same steps. It's a crisis situation.

As I said before, I didn't know that my SIL was suffering, not having seen her due to lockdown, but hope others may be able to help their loved ones before it's too late. I can promise you that your BF and anyone else around you would WANT you to tell them. You may just have to spell it out to your partner in very stark terms.
I will live with it every day that my SIL didn't and I can't describe how that feels. Please call your friend and your MH contacts.
(I've PMd my number to you just in case it would help in any way.)

I've been there. You aren't alone. Totally relate to rushing over at the slightest noise. That really made me worse as I wasn't sleeping at all, constantly listening out for sounds.

I did three things:

1. Saw the gp and got some medication
2. Went to stay with my mum for a few weeks. She helped and I slept. You need sleep.
3. Talked to someone from pandas

All these things really helped me. Can you do at least 1 or 3 if 2 isn't possible or won't help?

You are not a bad mum. You sound a bloody fantastic mum. PND is beyond awful. It takes a lot of courage to get help but it is out there. If you can tell the people you know that would be good. Don’t feel you have to try act as if nothing is wrong. You will come out the other side of this even if that’s impossible to believe right now. If you want to PM me please do. Sometimes it is good just to be able to talk to someone who has been through it and have them listen. There are people here who care and can relate to just how desperate PND feels. We are here.

@babyt2020 Thank you, just from me, for sharing your experience of the mum and baby unit.
Help of this kind can and should be seen by society as part of a normal, healthy and positive approach in perinatal mental health.

Oh lovely. You are really not a bad mum; the fact you are worried you are just shows that you are a brilliant mum.

As a lot of people on here have already said, you need to speak to someone in RL. PANDAS sounds like a good place to start. And your best friend; whatever else she has on, I promise she will want to be there for you.

Please don't worry about someone wanting to take your girl, that is not what happens. HV / PANDAS are here to help you.

Where in the country are you? xxx

Here is a big hug, you are a great mum. You are looking for help and that's also something great mum's do. You can find a way through this especially with others to support you.

I have spoken to pandas and they have made me feel a bit better. Thank you to you all for sharing their number and for your words of support. I am going to take baby out for a drive as the car gets her to sleep and the change of scenery might help me too. x

No, they won’t take the baby off you for pnd. I listened to a R4 interview with a dr about pnd and mother and baby units and she was very clear that no one needs to worry that social services will sweep in and remove a baby. Women don’t see their drs for pnd because of this fear.

The most they’d do if you were actively thinking of harming a child is take you to a mother and baby unit together & you aren’t thinking of hurting her.

There will be a mh crisis line number in your area but you can also ring the drs or 111. If you’re suicidal it’s ok to say so, I had to do this for dh & they sent an ambulance to assess, then arranged an ooh gp appt who was brilliant with dh & the mh nurses rang me to offer diazepam at 11pm at night. Dh thought I was against him too but I just didn’t know what to do and was winging it.