Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Please someone talk to me

102 replies

babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 13:39

I have awful post natal depression and no family around. Me and partner not getting on. I can't get through to my MH support team. My baby is 8 weeks. I'm just sat here alone on the floor with my baby. Someone please talk to me I can't do this anymore

OP posts:
Newchallenge · 14/06/2021 14:20

Hi baby blues, that sounds really hard. Hugs. You are not alone. Please do share with your friends, you may find them to be having similar difficulties. It gets better. It really does. Flowers

Zazazaz · 14/06/2021 14:21

Please, please see your GP or perhaps the health visitor...first few weeks with a new baby can be very tough and you need help. They can help you, and so can your friends and mums groups. This will get better.

Mushybananas · 14/06/2021 14:22

It’s really important to get some help. It’s great that you’re posting here but speak to your gp as well. Sending you lots of warm wishes. It gets easier but you need some support

Version4needsabitofwork · 14/06/2021 14:22

The first three months with a baby and PND is horrible. It's like bomb going off in your relationship and the thoughts you have are so bad... but here's the thing. It passes. With or without medication this will pass and you will feel better, trust me, I bought the t shirt. If it happened again to me I'd be straight to the docs for some SSRI's to shortcut the process. It's totally normal, but so horrid, you have my sympathies. Don't suffer in silence
xxxx

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:26

Are you still there? It’s normal to
Feel like this, but not normal for you as you’re experiencing it. Can you take the babs for a walk outside??

H0Tcarrots · 14/06/2021 14:28

There are so many of us who have been where you are and you can hear how desperate we are for you to go get some help because we know how fucking awful it is. I also know that might be a little too much to do right now.

So I just wanted to tell you what a great job you are doing just being with your baby on the floor. You are managing as best you can, you are keeping the baby safe, and that’s all you need to do some days.

Original poster
babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 14:29

@ThanksIGotItInMorrisons

Are you still there? It’s normal to Feel like this, but not normal for you as you’re experiencing it. Can you take the babs for a walk outside??

I'm still here. I have cried all my make up off and I look disgusting, I can't go out like this. I also feel sort of numb inside. I don't think I have the energy to walk anywhere. I'm dreading my partner coming hone

OP posts:
Mellonsprite · 14/06/2021 14:30

@babyblues21

I was supposed to see some other mum friends today but I've cancelled as I feel soon I can't let them see me like this. I'm putting on a front all the time. I want to leave the house and never come back.
Can you tell your friends how bad you feel? Could they come round to yours? I’d be devastated if one of my friends was like you’ve described and I could have helped xx
ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:30

@babyblues21 have you dialled 111? They will get you some help and support? It’s so fragmented when you have mh issues and a new born. But it won’t always be like today. Like this minute. Now will pass. It will get better. X

Original poster
babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 14:32

I'm looking at my baby's face and it breaks my heart to think of her growing up without me. I'm just breaking inside

OP posts:
Ruaille · 14/06/2021 14:33

Hello OP,
I just logged on to see if I could find you as I was still thinking about you after your post the other day.
@lemonsaretheonlyfruit is absolutely spot on. Please tell your MH team that you are in crisis now. You need immediate help. Putting on a brave face isn't helping you.
Don't worry about what anyone's going to think. It is the right thing for you and your baby. Seriously, please tell them how bad it is.
Lemons, you could well be talking about my sister in law (I'll have to ask FIL who he was watching the football with.)
OP, please do this for yourself. Please ask for urgent help and don't be fobbed off or afraid to say how bad it is.

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:34

@babyblues21 can you tell your partner how you feel. Has he actually read anything about pnd? Does he understand that it’s serious? Can you get him to read something “I found this. It explains it better than I can”. I did this with my mh as it was hard for people to get it. You’re not alone. And the tears are good, better out than in. Don’t bottle it up. Crying can help loads.

MissPilly · 14/06/2021 14:35

It may not feel like it right now but you can totally get through this.
I’ve experienced PND too. Tell yourself it won’t feel like this forever. You love your baby and your baby loves you. You are stronger than you realise and can do it.

Original poster
babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 14:36

[quote ThanksIGotItInMorrisons]@babyblues21 can you tell your partner how you feel. Has he actually read anything about pnd? Does he understand that it’s serious? Can you get him to read something “I found this. It explains it better than I can”. I did this with my mh as it was hard for people to get it. You’re not alone. And the tears are good, better out than in. Don’t bottle it up. Crying can help loads.[/quote]

I have done this. I even put it all down in words in black and white how bad I feel for him to read. It's like he reads it and then forgets. I got shouted at the weekend for rushing to my baby when she cries (in an anxious mess I rush to her immediately when she cries, I can't help it). He said it was like I don't trust him to sort it. It's not that at all, it's just that I can help but run to her as my anxiety is off the scale

OP posts:
CousinKrispy · 14/06/2021 14:36

Big hugs, OP. PND is so cruel.

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:37

Please call for help. The mums you were going to meet - I guarantee at least one of them had felt this. It’s completely universal. There’s nothing wrong with you in that you’re not broken. But you feel broken. And it’s the most difficult feeling. Honest if you were my friend I’d be right there if only you’d tell me - please call a friend to come and support you just now. Can you do that?

Original poster
babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 14:41

Am I a bad mum for feeling like this?

OP posts:
ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:41

Your anxiety can be caused or exacerbated by getting pnd. And it’s normal when you’re a first time mum without family pitching in to help. You’re doing a brand new important vital job without any of the experience or training!! With help your anxiety will ease off a bit too. It can be hard for dads cos they think we don’t think they can cope or know what they’re doing - it’s not that. It’s that a tiny , whole, absolutely real little person just cane out of our bodies and now we’re left alone to care for them. I remember brining my first born home sat in the car seat on the floor and I looked at him and said “
Well what am I supposed to do now “. But you will get there.

Original poster
babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 14:42

I love my baby so much I just can't do it anymore

OP posts:
Looubylou · 14/06/2021 14:42

. Please ring your health visitor, they support mum's feeling similar everyday - they know how to get you the right support and will be persistent until they do. Google your local crisis team if you don't have their number. They have to answer. If it all feels too difficult reach out to one of those friends and ask them to do it for you. 💐

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:43

NO. YOURE NOT A BAD MUM. you’re a good mum who cares very much and that’s why you’re questioning yourself.

TheQueef · 14/06/2021 14:44

Ah lass, it hits like a truck doesn't it?
Everything, all at once.
I remember it well. Flowers

You need a bit of help, don't be embarrassed lots of us have been there.
Who do you feel best able to contact? Are MH or HV more approachable?

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 14/06/2021 14:44

Where are you op? What area of nhs? Do you want us to find a number for you?? You should talk to crisis team. Call 111 whatever you do, keep talking. Please.

Original poster
babyblues21 · 14/06/2021 14:45

@Looubylou

. Please ring your health visitor, they support mum's feeling similar everyday - they know how to get you the right support and will be persistent until they do. Google your local crisis team if you don't have their number. They have to answer. If it all feels too difficult reach out to one of those friends and ask them to do it for you. 💐
HV phone is going to voicemail too :(
OP posts:
toocold54 · 14/06/2021 14:46

What area are you in OP someone on here might know of some support you can get?

Honestly so many of us have felt exactly as you have felt and I promise it won’t be like this forever.
I remember avoiding everyone and not going out because I felt so crap but it made it so much worse. I would try and meet up with a close friend or even go out for a walk just you and baby. When your partner gets home get him to have the baby for an hour whilst you go for a walk and clear your head or have a soak in the bath.