I don’t want to carry on

[tunnocksreturns2019]

DH has been dead four years. Eldest DC profoundly difficult. Home life is unbearable really. Nothing to look forward to. Just long years without the love of my life. I’m so so tired.

And no need to suggest calling the Samaritans. I’ve called twice and each time no one was available to take my call.

No amount of talking will change how horrible life is in any case.

Aww Tunnocks

You are a lovely person and you have had a shit time. I'm not surprised you feel so low.

Just keep talking to us though

I just want to go home. Home is where he is. I’m so tired.

I don’t have anything left to give these kids.

So sorry to hear how you are feeling tunnocks. Don't know what to say but just keep talking please. Either about your DH or about life now

How hard for you. Your husband would want you to live. Eventually you will learn to live alongside your grief. Have you tried to contact Cruse who help with bereavement.

It sounds like you've had a horrendous time. How old are your DC?

I don’t think I will. It’s been four years. Things are only getting worse as the children get more difficult as they get older. I have no time for me at all.

Oh sweetie, didn’t want to read and run. This is tough for you, but you need to be there for your children and family.

11 and 9. So much squabbling. 11 year old very difficult.

I have given so much love and time and poured myself out and now I am empty.

can you access counselling through your GP or privately?

Sam's will be there if you keep trying but they will possibly be on reduced shifts at the moment.

Vanishingly few people are there for me.

Counselling is not for me.

I just need a different life, or none.

Oh tunnocks I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't believe it's been 4 years. I'm so sorry you are having such a shit time. Sending lots of love your way.

9 and 11 are tricky ages at the best of times.

Are you a member of WAY? Call the helpline if so.

Would counselling for the children be helpful?

Oh tunnocks, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe it’s been four years

Everyone is used to me working wonders and I’m tired now. So tired

I don’t have any profound or wise words to offer it sounds so very hard for you. Just a stranger wanting to offer any little crumb of support. Is there any support you can access for DC? Sometimes you can give no more when you are in Such pain yourself.
I am so sorry you lost your DH

Im so sorry you are feeling like this. Things have been incredibly tough for you, dont be hard on yourself,do you have anyone you can talk to in rl?
I know things are tough now but please please believe things will get better, your dc need you and love you, i know they are hard work, all dc can push us to our limits which is so hard when you feel so low and have no support.
Please go to your GP and ask for help, do you have any friends or relatives you can phone now? Otherwise please keep talking to us.

How's your sleep? Are you getting a decent amount/ quality of sleep? It's tempting to stay up late when the DC are in bed to numb out a bit (it's what I'm doing right now!) but you need decent sleep to feel resilient in the day. Easier said than done for sure!

I don't know what to say that can help, but we are here for you.

Would your DC be able to stay with family / friends for a few days? I know restrictions are in place but surely rules can be bent in some cases, like this. You need some restbite, some peace?

I'm sure they love you very much.