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Original poster

Suicidal after breakup

111 replies

bookworm100 · 15/08/2020 22:14

Just that really. 32, happened this morning. Truly heartbroken and crushed. Didn't see it coming. Can't see a way out of the pain. Have had MH problems in the past and think this might be it. Anyone been there and have amy advice? The pain is excruciating

OP posts:
Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:17

Bookworm just a quick post to acknowledge your pain. Do you have someone in real life that you can talk to as well. X

Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:18

You are probably in shock. Someone will post soon with better advice than me but just wanted to be here for you.

Original poster
bookworm100 · 15/08/2020 22:19

Yes but it isn't making a difference. The pain is so great

OP posts:
Original poster
bookworm100 · 15/08/2020 22:20

@Lisette1940 thank you for posting Thanks

OP posts:
Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:20

Do you have the phone number of your local MH crisis team?

Lacey2019 · 15/08/2020 22:21

This is natural. I felt suicidal when my relationship ended too. But you will be ok. I think if you have someone to talk to or ring, do so and be totally honest with them x

Original poster
bookworm100 · 15/08/2020 22:21

@Lisette1940 No but I have decided not to do anything today. Might call the Samaritans tomorrow

OP posts:
Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:22

I have not had experience of a breakup with a partner but I'm not in contact with my parents. I was/am upset about that. Heartache is awful often physical too.

Robertplantgoddess · 15/08/2020 22:22

Ok. Of course you're smarting from the pain but killing yourself you know you dont get to watch what comes next. You arent dead itll be like you never were to people you havent met yet

iswhois · 15/08/2020 22:23

Please please be reassured that you can and will get through this. I know it's impossible to imagine right now but I promise you better days are ahead.

Could you perhaps stay with a friend or family member for a few days? It's good to be with company right now x

Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:23

The Samaritans are always there for you. Be excessively gentle with yourself.

Robertplantgoddess · 15/08/2020 22:23

Just dead

Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:25

You are very welcome Bookworm

Original poster
bookworm100 · 15/08/2020 22:25

I am at a friend's house. That's the main reason I'm not going to act on it tonight. It's so hard to imagine ever feeling ok and not totally rejected/abandoned. I feel lots of self-loathing at the way I contributed to the breakdown in the relationship, I miss him and I can't imagine ever loving and being loved again

OP posts:
Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:25

Are you still there? 💐

Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:27

Sorry cross post. I'm glad you are with someone tonight.

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 15/08/2020 22:27

So painful but try to remember other painful times you have been through and with time you have felt better. Time is a great healer isn't a cliche for nothing, it really is the only way to heal after difficult times. Baby steps. Make a snack. Watch the stupid Gavin and Stacy adoration program that is on TV now. If you are feeling so horrible though, call the samaritans to talk it through.

candle18 · 15/08/2020 22:28

I knew a girl in college who killed herself after her boyfriend finished with her. She was about 21, bright and beautiful. Her family and friends were devastated. She obviously couldn’t see any way out of the pain but I’m sure that in a year or two she would have got over it, met someone else, had children and been happy. You can and will get better, phone your GP or NHS24 and tell them how you feel. Get all the help and support you can from those around you. Keep telling yourself that this is the worst you will feel, it will get better. Be kind to yourself and accept that you have to go through this but it is temporary.

Lisette1940 · 15/08/2020 22:28

I think most people would feel very strong feelings if they had a breakup. You'll be feeling many emotions.

blackandwhite2020 · 15/08/2020 22:33

OP, massive love going out to you, you poor thing! I'm sure I could give you soooo many cliches but to be honest none of them would take the pain away and you'd defo not want to waste your time reading them. However, I will absolutely say that fact, water helps you to calm down and get sleep, for so many difference and in different ways, but for suuuuuuure, sleep (however many minutes/hours) will help your mind and body function, so please try and get some. The calm app would be great, they talk and distract you whilst you sleep!! X

Hippychickster · 15/08/2020 22:33

I'm so sorry. Do you have someone you can call to come and be with you?

It is a horrible horrible feeling, but it won't last forever.

I hope you feel better in the morning x

Original poster
bookworm100 · 15/08/2020 22:36

Thank you all. I'm going to try and get some sleep now though I'm already dreading waking up in the morning and realising all over again that this is real

OP posts:
Emmie12345 · 15/08/2020 22:36

Sending you love and some peace - you will move on from this, it will be OK honey xxx

MNHQ
DawnMumsnet · 15/08/2020 22:37

Hi bookworm100, we're really sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. There are lots of organisations listed which can give you some support.

You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on [email protected], or call them, any time, on 116 123. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We hope you're okay. Flowers

Saltandvinegar86 · 16/08/2020 07:12

Hi OP, I hope you are ok and I’m really sorry you are going through this. I broke up with a long term partner nearly four years ago just before my 30th birthday and felt similarly. It took me a long time to get over it but I did, and now I’m glad we are not together as in retrospect he wasn’t right for me and the relationship was a combative/toxic mess. However at the time I blamed myself very much for its demise.

Things that got me through the first awful few months:

  1. Family and friends. You need to reach out to people and talk to them. I talked so much I must have bored my mum/sister/best friend/colleagues to tears, but it helped me to work through the pain. Everyone was supportive because everyone has been through something like this at some point. If you don’t think you can talk to people you know for whatever reason, phone the Samaritans or if you can afford it, get a therapist.
  2. If you think that your depression goes beyond what is normal after a breakup, go and see your GP. They will be able to assess your needs and may be able to offer assistance- antidepressants/sleeping tablets if you need them/ put you on the waiting list for NHS funded therapy. They will be used to dealing with mental health issues so there is no need to feel embarrassed.
  3. Keep busy- make plans with people or alone and stick with them. Throw yourself in to work/the gym/daily walks etc- anything you enjoy and that distracts you.
  4. Be kind to yourself. Now is the time to treat yourself. If you have the money, buy yourself something nice. Regardless, indulge in a bit of ‘me’ time- watch crappy tv, read books, have long baths, pamper yourself, eat lovely food etc.
  5. Prioritise your health. Try not to drink too much. Eat regular, delicious and healthy meals. Stay active. Get some sunshine. It will make you feel better, I promise.

Please remember that you are not alone and that this is just a moment that will pass. In a year’s time you will see things very differently. There is a future for you without this man and in all likelihood it is a lot brighter. You are still so young and can do whatever you want with your life, please don’t through it away x