Suicidal after breakup

[bookworm100]

Just that really. 32, happened this morning. Truly heartbroken and crushed. Didn't see it coming. Can't see a way out of the pain. Have had MH problems in the past and think this might be it. Anyone been there and have amy advice? The pain is excruciating

Years ago I truly thought I was having a heart attack, the physical pain was so bad. It took months to feel like my life wasnt useless.

But it happened and I have and am having a wonderful life.

Don't throw your life away over a relationship which will be unimportant to you in less than a year

Is there anyone you can talk to in RL? The pain of it is brutal, I’ve been there, broke up with partner of ten years and was just in a suicidal haze for six months - not eating, sleeping, cutting my arms to feel something, anything. I got myself into counselling and talking it all out with a neutral party helped me see that I’d been in a horribly psychologically abusive relationship and the trauma bonding is why I felt so bad when it ended. Samaritans are also so kind and non judgemental especially during the night when you feel in crisis. I used to get frustrated when I had it said to me, but this too shall pass. You WILL be happy again. Four years on I have a lovely DH, beautiful DSD and a house that is quiet and calm and trusting. You can do this

Hi op. How are you feeling this morning? Did you get any sleep last night?

I think many of us have been in your position. Those feelings of your life as you know is over, and can't see a way to build something new. It will come, it takes time and going through the motions x

@Nowhereelsetogo90 and @HolyForkinShirt are absolutely right @bookworm100

It's about pushing through each day. It's bloody hard but I promise you with all my heart, that it will be worth it.

Post here, keep talking. Take each hour then each day as it comes. It will get better but not just yet. And I also promise you that you will learn from this and get so strong

Sending you love 💕

Hi OP, I’m in the same position at the moment and I feel the same. I slashed my arms on the night we broke up and cried so much throughout the night that I woke up with a terrible migraine. I have no advice really but just wanted to let you know you are not alone in your heartbreak. I bought a little bottle of CBD oil just to help my body relax enough to get some sleep and it seems to be helping a bit. I’ve also been listening to relaxing Indian flute music on YouTube to lull me to sleep as otherwise my thoughts race and the night times really are the hardest.

Hope you are ok. A broken heart is the worst. I've never felt a pain like it. But you know it will pass. But also you know when it has passed that you won't care for him anymore. So the pain keeps the love you felt alive.

Please see your gp for support antidepressants helped me. I also found a local charity for counselling. It gave me a safe place to grieve.

You are loved. And you are worthy. You will love again when you are ready. And I know you are kicking and scream but it won't be him. It won't it will be someone even better.

Be kind to yourself. Gather good people around you. And just go hour by hour if you have too. Try to find a positive in. Each day. Even something very small. And build from their.

I promise in time you will be ok.

This is temporary. It will pass. Give yourself some time to feel sad but set some small goals to achieve. You will not feel like this forever

Hope you’re ok op 💐💐

My engagement ended 6 weeks ago. I lost everything my home, all my furniture and my pet. I left with one suitcase after being dismissed and being told to leave. It's so tough and I've had panic attacks and I struggle to sleep but after talking it out with people I know it was a blessing in disguise. 6 weeks down the line and I'm doing far better, it still hurts but far less. I've started seeing a counsellor and its helping me see how toxic he was/is.
Please dont make any rash decisions , my therapist suggested to me that when I feel overwhelmed to just focus on the now, take it minute to minute or even second to second. Big hugs to you xx

Hi OP. So sorry you feel this way. I have been there and it is so unbelievably awful and painful and scary. I understand. For me, nothing made any difference except time. Which is horrific because you have to live through the pain. But one thing I would say is like many posters here, when I look back I know he wasn’t right for me. I blamed myself in every small detail too. I analysed it and hated myself. But - it wasn’t my fault. Love doesn’t work like that. You didn’t deserve this and if he loved you how you deserve to be loved, he’d be with you.

Time will help more than you know...even when you feel like it won’t, suddenly you will find the pain a little more bearable. In the meantime, make sure you eat what you can and be proud of yourself for it...nothing is easy when you feel like this. And for me, watching tv or films in bed helped so I didn’t feel alone. The mornings were the hardest for me and at one point I was literally just existing by telling myself to wait it out...what i mean by that is my world was dark and I hated every second, wished I wasn’t here, wanted to die, but I just lived the pain and waited, clinging onto that small hope that my friends were right that one day, the pain would lessen. Gradually it does.

For what it’s worth, after analysing myself and hating myself for what happened, I look back and realise that wow, he wasn’t the man I thought he was. Someone who loves you won’t ever hurt you that way.

I know it hurts OP, and I know you won’t believe posters saying it will be ok. But humour us, give it time and see what a difference it makes.

I’m so sorry, it’s a horrible horrible time. You will be ok though

@romdowa

My engagement ended 6 weeks ago. I lost everything my home, all my furniture and my pet. I left with one suitcase after being dismissed and being told to leave. It's so tough and I've had panic attacks and I struggle to sleep but after talking it out with people I know it was a blessing in disguise. 6 weeks down the line and I'm doing far better, it still hurts but far less. I've started seeing a counsellor and its helping me see how toxic he was/is. Please dont make any rash decisions , my therapist suggested to me that when I feel overwhelmed to just focus on the now, take it minute to minute or even second to second. Big hugs to you xx

Please feel free to message me. I was in this position last year x

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it. I'm genuinely on the edge and these posts, just knowing other people have been there and that they got better, are really helpful. So sorry to the others who are going through the same thing. I know I'm making it worse by panicking about my age, so I am trying to stay rational about that. It's hard because all of my friends are in long-term relationships with houses or married and starting to have kids. I don't own a home and now I am single I just feel so behind. The main thing is the pain of losing him though, of what I thought we had being a lie and of never being able to lie on his chest or cuddle with him again. It's all just unfathomable at the moment. I'm staying at a friend's house, which has probably saved my life. I might call the Samaritans later. I have a therapist already but I don't speak to her until Wednesday. Thank you everyone, it helps to know that others have felt this pain and gone on to love again

Please call the Samaritans OP and call back as often as you'd like, they're there to help. Ultimately counselling is needed so to help you stop being so dependent on another person. It's normal to feel very sad after a breakup but you cant let another human rule your life and happiness when their feelings and intentions can change at any point.

💐 bookworm

@bookworm100
Do you have a faith? If so, please read Psalm 91, it is so uplifting and reassuring.

I hope you're okay, OP. I have been there and I did come through the other side. It is possible even though it doesn't feel so just now.

Hi OP. I have been there and now I could see that they weren't right for me and I have had other happy relationships since then. At the time you feel like you'll never feel like that about anyone ever again, but you do.

Another one who has been there/got the Tshirt, sending best wishes OP.

You can get through this, but take it gently, one hour at a time, one day at a time. It's a pain like no other, IME. What helped me was talking: talking with friends, and particularly talking with others going through similar.

It does hurt like stink, but gradually, you will notice little changes. You will notice the kindness of others. You will start to want to eat again, you laugh for the first time, you notice birdsong . . . you gradually start to live again.

Be very gentle with yourself. You have been bereaved - you have lost the person you love, and lost lots of your hopes and dreams too. It's really really tough. But you can get through this and will, one day, be happy.

I’ve also been where you are and I’m so so glad I never acted on those feelings. I didn’t believe anyone who told me I would be okay. But I’m more than okay - I’m happy again, even happier than I was before. Read Matt Haig “Reasons to Stay Alive”. Life is always worth it.

Sending you love today @bookworm100
I was here yesterday when I saw my ex’s first picture with someone and his removal of all my pictures after 5 years. I didn’t want to be around anymore - but then I know I’ll hurt more people

Thank you everyone. I'm still here, just about. Am now staying with my parents, back in my childhood bedroom and have told them how I am feeling. Tried going to work today and made it the whole day until 5pm and then had a full on breakdown. Now I have tomorrow off but I think that's the most they'll allow. I can never imagine being happy again and it is truly sucking my will to live. Really grateful for everyone's support. These posts mean a lot.

@Lacey2019 I am so sorry you are going through this too. I have to stay connected with my ex on social media because we are family friends (so even if I don't I will see things) and I am already dreading this. Thinking of you. Wish there was some sort of cafe where everyone who is feeling like this could meet and share their stories

That must be hard. My ex is blocked on social media and I’m now picking up courage to remove his family, which is hard after 5 years. X

@bookworm100 you will be happy again but totally totally get how devastated you are. Just take it moment by moment. Walk a lot.
Try and be in your body. You are ok and stronger than you know !

Have a good day and we are all here for you xx

Bookworm100 I'm sorry you are feeling like this. I just wanted to let you know that I was in exactly the same situation as you when I was 32. The love of my life who I absolutely adored and worshipped broke up with me. I was broken into a million little pieces and I genuinely never ever thought I would be happy again.

I'm now in my early forties and am currently sat on my sofa with my children while my husband is at work watching a very noisy kids' film. We don't own our own house but we're happy and in love and our children are wonderful.

If you had told me I'd be here when I was grieving for my ex I wouldn't have believed you but here I am. There is a way out of the dark and it might take a long time to find it but it is there and you will be happy again.

Sending strength to you my dear.