Suicidal after breakup

[bookworm100]

Just that really. 32, happened this morning. Truly heartbroken and crushed. Didn't see it coming. Can't see a way out of the pain. Have had MH problems in the past and think this might be it. Anyone been there and have amy advice? The pain is excruciating

Hi OP I’m sorry that you’ve had another dark day. I’m going through similar issues at the moment and everything you’ve said really resonates with me. You don’t feel grounded in life at the moment - not grounded in your work, or where you’re living, or psychologically, and it makes it really pressurised and horrible because it seems there is no respite or place to (physical or mental) to escape to. Ignoring everything else for the moment can you create a safe space to rest out of the chaos, things that will ground you and where you can rest? Taking it day by day - sleep at the moment is something you’ve got, however stressful and chaotic you feel in the day know that you have a calm environment to come back to at the end of each day. Make the space as peaceful as possible - bubble bath with lush products each night, essential oil diffuser, CBD oil, herbal tea. Everything else will sort itself out but to begin with that’s something you can have control over. Also if you haven’t already, I would suggest coming off social media. This is what I have done, I stupidly redownloaded and it was a barrage of pregnancy announcements and new kitchens which just made me feel worse, and it’s just absolutely not worth it. It’s been really helpful for me to follow this thread, like you I am tormented by images of my own suicide. I am not only going through a breakup but now unemployed and living in my dads spare room which doesn’t feel like a space I can make into a sanctuary for various reasons. Sending love x

OP just wanted to add some book recommendations as your name is bookworm! Have you read the outrun by Amy Liptrot? It’s such a healing sort of book. I’d also recommend this isn’t about you by Jean edelstein.

@bookworm100 we are all here for you z

@Soblueithurts I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing. Thinking of you x

@RunningAwaywiththeCircus my logical brain can see that there is so much sense in what you say. I just wish I was more connected with it because at the moment I very much feel like my illogical brain is in charge. Thank you for your kind and wise words of inspiration xx

You have great emotional intelligence - yes your “illogical” brain is in charge at the moment - it is pushing your mind and body into fight/flight/freeze mode as it reacts to “dangerous threat” due to your distress. So your brain is prioritising physical safety. When our bodies are in this state there is no room to think clearly because we are hyper vigilant and hyper emotional. This state can be deescalated with self care interventions, grounding and sitting through it - being aware that it will pass in a few hours (even though it will rise again).

Did you go to work yesterday? Have you managed to do something restorative, gentle and kind for yourself?

How are you doing @Soblueithurts?

@bookworm100 I feel really terrible today but thanks so much for reaching out. Just keep listening to sad songs and crying. Currently looking for flat shares and feel that my life is going backwards, I honestly can’t envision any sort of hopeful future, just loneliness always. Sorry to be so depressing

@Soblueithurts I’m in the same boat and I’m sorry you’re feeling it too. I’ve never known pain like it, I just want to feel normal again - never imagined anything could hurt me this much. Can only say stay strong and time helps, people keep saying that to me - I hope it’s true x

So sorry to hear that @Soblueithurts - it sounds stupid but I am finding watching rom coms uplifting. You said you're looking for places to live, does that mean you've found work? That sounds like progress if so?