How much longer do I have to feel like this?

[Depressedmum32]

Can some one give some advice please, I just recently gave birth to my 4th baby and for the rist month I felt fantastic and was flying round doing everything. Iwas so wired that one night I was cleaning my windows at 5am after feeding ds!!!Then I started to feel ill, like I had the flu, kept feelomg dizzy and this went on for couple of weeks before I collapsed with chest pain and was rushed to hospital. Was told I had a blood clot on my ling and spent the whole weekend feeling hysterical, had to stop breastfeeding as I was on blood thinners. Cried cos I missed my children so much and thought I was going to die. Then they told me I had no blood clot just pleurisy and sent me home. I first felt relieved to be home and with children but after a couple of days I started to have Panic attacks for no reason, I was just suddenly get this rush of fear and feel terrified. Then I started waking up in the night with my heart racing hystarical with fear, so eventually I was on;y getting 1 hours sleep a night. During the day I was sitting around thinking of all the things I could drop dead from and then 2 weeks ago I suddenly felt wierd, A sense of unreality which terrified me even more. Kept going to the docs where they diagnosed pnd and prescribed ad's. Referred to cpn but no appt till oct 26th. Refused to take the ad's as I was so scared of all the possible awful side effects and convinced myself I just needed to sleep.Dh took a few days off work and I did feel a bit better after getting some rest in the day, but sleep at night. non existant. When I did go to sleep, I kept having awful dreams and waking up. Hv came on monday and said I had to take the cipralex just to lift me enough to the things that would make me feel better.Started on 5mg as Isuffer from panic and immediately the panic became worse, so the second night could only get to sleep with the aid of sleeping tabs. I am now day 4 and I feel wrethched, nauseas and panicky, still feel dazed as though I am not really here and that frightens me. Didnt feel depressed until I started to feel wierd, its the wierdness the t depresses me, is this normal pnd? I just want to feel human again.

Oh yes! I use Kalms sometimes - hops, valerian and gentian. Well done for completing task!

think you can get tea from Holland and Barratt with valerium in (and of course all other types of weird and wonderful herbal teas )

The sun is shining today and I just think if I could snap out of the trance I am in I would actually feel quite good, def sleep deprived, no wonder they used it as a form of torture!Yes when I feel confident enought o go to town I will got to Holland and Barrett, valerina Daytime quite good too, calms you down in the day.

Is town close enough to walk there?

No!! I live out in the fens and nearest town is 7 miles away, I know I am on a fitness drive but that is just a bit toooo far to walk!lol!I will perhaps get dh to get me some on his day off as the prospect of driving anywhere while I am this sleep deprived doesnt really appeal, especially with my precious children in the car.

LOL !! perhaps not!

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Tell me about it! this evening I feel like I am going out of my mind, My vision is blurred, my eyes feel like they are being forced out of my head and my brain feels too big for my skull!.It's horrible cos I havent had any deep sleep for 8 weeks and I think I might go barmy.Took ds1 to library today which brought me out in a panic attack and ds2 shouted MUMMY! and I yelled WHAT! just as a women came out of the library and stared at me, worse still he only shouted cos he was excited cos he had seen abig red tractor! What a nasty mum I am

Well slept like alog till 1.30, then woke up went back to sleep till dd woke at 3 and then didnt get back to sleep till 5 aaarrrggghhhh!!!
So feel no further forward today, everyhting has astrange sort of cloud in front of it.Had no trouble dropping off though, that's some consolation.Dh going to get up to dd2 tonite and I will sleep in dd1 bedroom as she sleeps in the extension( so we cant hear her music!) hopefully I wont hear dh getting up to dd2, I will try anything.

Feel very frightened today took ds1 to Pre-school didnt feel too bad, but by the time I got back everything seemed unreal and I feel like My brain is bursting out of my head, feel like I am going mad, is this lack of sleep?Cos I feel terrible

sounds like panic attack type symptoms to me - which would be worsened by complete exhaustion/lack of sleep or possibly withdrawal symptoms from the Cipralex. sorry I can't be much help at iding the cause of the problem. if you were literally "going mad" the last thing you would be doing would be worrying about it and posting on MN - it would just happen IYSWIM without this level of awareness. think all you can do is try and get as much rest and relaxation as possible - easier said than done I know. if you had really, really really bad flu you would take to your bed, expect lots of TLC whilst you ride it out - I think what you are going thru is very similar in that way.

When you wake in the night and can't get back to sleep, do you ever try a walkman with in-the-ear headphones. Radio5 live turned down low always gets me back to sleep. I don't bother to turn it off - duracell batteries last forever!

Well I hope it is true that if Iwas going mad iwouldnt be worried about it! I can fall asleep ok, its staying asleep thats the prob, I have been told that I dont get enough deep sleep.

Hi Spacecadet - Your experience with cipralex sounds very similar to mine when I first took prozac. The panic attacks initially and rapidly got much much worse and I was absolutely terrified.

Something Ive found useful for sleep both on and off medication is the 'SLEEP' aromatherapy range from Boots. they do a bubble bath/ pillow spray and massage oil. Its red in a glass bottle. Not too expensive. You might want to try some of this along with some relaxation/breathing exercises before you go to bed.

Good luck
Kizziex

Hi SC
the main thing is to change your mind set. I'm no expert but lived with panic attacks/paranoia/agoraphobia for about 8 years. I'm now fine and that period of my life seems like so long ago and almost a different me.

The first thing you need to do is sort out your sleep. I am one of those people that doesn't like taking medication etc so I chose as natural a route as possible. MELATONIN is what you need to sort your sleep out. The natural chemicals etc in your body and especially your brain, have been disrupted. If you take melatonin at the same time every night about half an hour before you want to go to sleep it will sort out your melatonin levels. do this for one to four weeks.

Once your sleep is sorted, you can start to look at the other issues you have. If it is just sleep dep then you'll be sorted - if not you should try to work through each issue one at a time with your own safety nets etc. You should make it a priority to leave the house every day - even if it's to walk to the end of your path and back! Fresh air, and lungs full of oxygen are really good healers - take really deep breaths and close your eyes. Feel the fresh air filling your lungs.

I cannot remember the last time i had a panic attack. i go everywhere and anywhere - 5 years ago i was completely housebound. it takes time and positive energy. I also changed my diet - much healthier and lots of fruit and veg - try to minimise things like yeast, soya, sugar, fermented goods. Take some magnesium tablets and maybe multi vits.

Good luck and most importantly - BE POSITIVE [SMILE]

Sorry - forgot to say - don't stop taking prescribed drugs suddenly and you should maybe talk to your gp if you want to stop. I was prescribed prozac, valium and xanax. I took them in varying degrees over 4 weeks but did not like the spaced feeling. eventually i went to a doc in harley st explaining that i wanted minimal drugs....

gps are not gods. if you feel the route they,re taking u on is not 4 u, say so...

Hello Space Cadet, just wanted to add my words of support even though I haven't had PND and don't really know how you are feeling. I do have four children though and know what those pressures are like. Also, I have mild panic attacks and am probably depressed enough to need pills myself at the moment but won't find out because I won't go to the doctors. I am always shouting at my kids inappropriately at the moment and I feel out of control at times. The irony is that people say how well I manage with my children. If only they knew the truth! I wish I could help you but it sounds as though you have a nice support group here for you. All the best, LM.

I definately need to sort the sleep thing out. I can understand why it was used as a form of torture. i am forcing myself to get out everyday even though the world looks very scary at the moment. it really does feel as though I have a form of dementia.I am def keeping up with the bedtime routine and I have been also advised to stock up on tryptophan rich foods which help the serotonin levels in the brain. apparantly the brain cant sleep properly without serotonin.

Sleep is everything to me. I lead a very sad life right now as I go to bed most days by 9 o/c just to ensure I get enough sleep. I used to be such a night owl...

Lonelymum you may well be midly depressed as depressed mums tend to put on a very good front in public, thanks for your words of support but if you feel that you may be midly depressed please see your doctor, you dont always need pills.

I don't mean this rudely, but your experience so far hasn't exactly inspired me to see a doctor! I still have reason to believe that my depression and panic attacks are a) still, relatively speaking, within my control and b) within my power to one day eradicate. Don't know if that makes sense but it means I am a long way from wanting medical help.

Lonely mum. Needing to sleep alot is generally a sign of depression, but it could just be a sign of severe overtiredness!!. please contact your gp or hv as you may just need a support network not necessarily any tablets. also are you lonely as your name suggests? because that will make you feel down, I dont know how old your children are but perhaps going to toddler group etc would help

No I dont blame you at all!!! But I have been very ill and still am I suppose and Gp wrongly prescribed ads which didnt help me. i am now seeing a hands on healer to help with the panic attacks and once my tablets are out of my system I am going to start taking kalms herbal remedy which are suppose to help. It sounds like you are unhappy which is slightly different to being depressed, it is also possible to self help depression its just that mine went to far.Could you get out more in the day even just for a walk?I dont know if you are doing all the above any way but please keep posting on here as there are plenty of people to give you advice. I dont know if you have many friends but being a mum can be very lonely if you feel isolated.

Spacecadet - TBH I wouldn't take Kalms during the day - they do make you sleepy especially when you are already tired. Might not be good for driving. Good at bedtime though.