I think I'm done.

[MilkTray22]

As I lie here, tears rolling down my cheeks into my pillow, I have a really strong sense that I'm done now. I cannot take any more pain or suffering. My body and mind feel beaten and exhausted. I am so alone.

Could you make yourself something to eat as your next step? I used to make a list and feel that each item ticked was a triumph, like cleaning teeth, having a bath, choosing clothes to wear the following day.

Hang on in there - it is a grim place to be but it does pass in the end - impossible to imagine when you are feeling so low.

Please try the Samaritans again.

Sorry you feel like this. I too have suffered for a long time. It's hard.

Have you thought about emailing the Samaritans? It takes a few hours to a day to get a reply, but that way you could write everything down. They don't judge and don't talk you out of things, they just "listen".

You can also text SHOUT to 85258, they will reply and then you can tell them what you're finding difficult, they're a bit quicker to reply. I think there's a character limit of 130 characters.

Keep posting here or feel free to pm me.

How you doing OP?

How are you doing today?

@MilkTray22 I hope things are a bit better for you today.

Hoping you've made it into work OP?

Hi everyone, can't tell you how touched I am to have logged on this evening and seen messages from people who are asking about my day and seeing that I'm alright. It really does mean so much. I made it to work, it was a big struggle but I did go. and I've got a mental health appointment tomorrow.

Still feeling pretty desperate to say the least but I'm glad that I went to work, I only would've stayed in bed and felt worse otherwise.

Going to work when you felt like you did was a huge achievement. You've totally got this. What are you having for dinner?

Well done for going to work OP. I know the thought of it can be so overwhelming but often it isn't so bad when you're there and at least you then feel like you've achieved something, rather than spending the day focusing on a "failure" (for want of a better word) x

That truly is an achievement and I take my hat off to you.

Brilliant that you made it to work - I've been thinking of you today too.

Well done OP. It's a massive step. I really hope things start looking up for you ❤️

Brilliant news, so pleased you went in. And great to hear you've got an appointment for tomorrow.

You're doing brilliantly, you've totally got this, and we're all behind you.

Well done getting into work today!
I’m so glad you have an appointment tomorrow.
There are better days ahead.

Well done OP. You must be tired now. Put your feet up and have something nice to eat. Good luck tomorrow x

Wow, I can't believe you're all rooting for me like this it's so wonderful. I know I don't know you guys but I don't feel as alone as I did. I've had some tea and I'm going to have a bath and an early night as I'm going to work again tomorrow x

Enjoy your bath and early night. So glad to hear you're going back into work tomorrow.

We ARE rooting for you. And as you say, we don't know each other but it doesn't mean we don't care. As I said before I'm here if you need a chat, even if it's about mundane stuff.

Good luck with your appointment tomorrow.

Thank you so much @MummyDummyNow

I WILL keep fighting.

OP, you sound so much more positive than yesterday. It's really good to hear - have a lovely sleep.

Reading you say that you will keep fighting had brought such a smile to my face! You can do it, as you ARE doing it!!!!

Seeing the difference between your posts from today in comparison to yesterday has really made me happy OP, another one here rooting for you!

@MilkTray22 I just want to say, as someone who has been in a very dark place very recently, there is always hope for change. I am still having some awful days but I am finally having some days which are a little better. Please don’t ever lose that hope.

When I was at my lowest, I chose to email the Samaritans. They were an amazing help to me. I couldn’t quite face phoning them either.

Sending lots of love and strength your way.

I’m so glad that today is a better day. It was brave of you to go into work and it shows how much determination and strength you have. Keep on keeping on.