Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

I really hope I'm not alone so I can get some advice and give some hopefully

277 replies

SunshineCake · 04/05/2019 20:03

I keep having episodes of not being able to speak. Just had my fourth one but it's different from others. Has anyone else had this?

OP posts:
TheAnswerIsInABookSomewhere · 05/05/2019 07:01

Hi, bumping so hopefully you can get some good replies. I don’t know enough about this to help but I don’t want you to feel alone, so I’ll ask some questions for when more knowledgeable people show up ;) Can you give us any more information, OP? What stops you speaking: can’t find words, can make sounds but unintelligible, mouth won’t work, mouth moves but no sound comes out? Also, any medications or history of migraine? Any signs it’s going to happen before it does?

I really hope you can get the answers you need. Good luck! And you’re not alone!

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/05/2019 09:15

Thank you, TheAnswerIsInABookSomewhere. Maybe I should look in a book Grin

When it's happened before I literally stopped talking mid sentence and nothing would come out for hours then the third time it lasted three days. This time I talked to dh on the phone at lunch on Friday but when he came home I couldn't speak but could if it was to my child and dh happened to be there. When the child left I couldn't then speak to dh.

When y dog ate something I opened her mouth and could say get it out to dh but then t went again before coming back for a few hours. This morning I knew I couldn't speak before I even tried.

Feels too much effort to speak when I can speak. Can understand everything, just nothing is coming out.

I'm convinced it's psychological not physical

OP posts:
TheAnswerIsInABookSomewhere · 05/05/2019 09:58

That really doesn’t sound right. I think a GP could help, even if the cause is psychological. Also, is it always your dh you can’t speak to?

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/05/2019 11:37

Previously it was everyone. Not great when I had a hospital appointment for an MRI then on the three days one, on day three dh took me to out of hours doctor.

Yesterday I could talk if others were there but when they left the room and it was still dh I couldn't but then we went out it was okay. Today it's the kids as well and my dog Sad.

When I mentioned it to the GP last time he sent me for a brain scan. Was all okay. Having another one in November due to daily headaches since May 2018.

OP posts:
TheAnswerIsInABookSomewhere · 05/05/2019 13:24

This absolutely needs following up much sooner than November. Keep pushing with the GP. [Flowers]

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/05/2019 14:08

I don't understand why I'd go to the GP. Not being annoying. It's just I feel there would be nothing to see if they brain scanned me sooner as I feel it's emotional rather than physical. I hope I'm making sense. My brain hasn't worked for a while. Again emotional stuff. I so appreciate you talking to me. I feel alone about it tbh. People don't seem to understand when I tell them and I get the feeling they think I am making it up or exaggerating.

OP posts:
TheAnswerIsInABookSomewhere · 05/05/2019 20:59

Hey, I'm not annoyed, and you're absolutely making sense. This must be so frustrating for you. I'm really sorry I can't help more. I'll just stay here with you a while and send support where I can. I really hope you find the answers you need.

LifeBeginsNow · 05/05/2019 21:16

Hi OP. You say it's nothing physical and all psychological (which does sound correct) but coupled with your persistent headaches, I think it needs following up.

Write down the issue before you visit the GP in case it occurs during the appointment, but really stress your concerns. I see the GP as the gatekeeper and they allow or deny access to specialists. You need a specialist either to diagnose and fix something physical or psychological.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/05/2019 22:00

I told GP A and he referred me immediately. I had a brain scan and all okay. He knew I was struggling to find the right words when I could speak as well as knowing I couldn't speak for hours or days at a time. I saw GP B two months ago about the headaches and she felt it was menopause related but referred me any way. Having a brain scan in November. I had therapy on Friday. Wondering if linked to that. Going to bed now and haven't spoken All day. DDog is confused and dh is forgetting g what I sound like.

Thank you both for talking to me Flowers.

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 08:02

I've been awake an hour and dh is still sleeping. I already know I won't be able to talk. I'm stressing out as have workmen coming on Tuesday and I have an appointment on Wednesday so I need to talk. I also feel shaky and cold and so bad about my dog as I spent most of the day in bed yesterday so she was on her own downstairs for three hours. She could have come up but doesn't like my bedroom floor. I will go buy a rug today as we've been putting it off. Though I feel I want to stay in bed again.

OP posts:
TheAnswerIsInABookSomewhere · 06/05/2019 08:29

Try not to worry about it. I know that probably sounds impossible, but at worst, you can feign a lost voice (not strictly untrue!) and just write what you need to say to the workmen/ appointment. Are there any nice things you can plan for today to make it worthwhile getting out of bed? A really nice breakfast, an upbeat song, a tv show?

Napssavelives · 06/05/2019 08:36

Do you have any history of trauma? I do and I struggle with dissociation and when I’m really dissociated I can’t seem to talk.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 13:12

I made it out of bed. I had too as dh looked so sad when I said I wasn't getting up. Going to chill watching tv, on here, cuddling dog.

I had two massive traumas in the space of six months but it's 3-3.7 years since but I'm certain it's linked to the more recent one. I don't know if I feel better that I can't talk to anyone as on Saturday I could talk to the kids but not dh.

The appointment will be impossible if I can't speak. I'm also having chest anxiety.

Really want to speak. Grr.

OP posts:
PowerBadgersUnite · 06/05/2019 14:59

I don't know if this is similar but I had a period of anxiety so bad that I could barely speak. It was like I could never find the right words and everything got caught up in my head. It was a horrible feeling and so hard to explain to people. In the end I had excellent CBT through a private therapist and that really helped me.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 15:13

I'm sorry to hear that, PowerBadgersUnite. I have a CBT book I may look at. What you described is similar to what I am struggling with.

OP posts:
weleasewoderick22 · 06/05/2019 15:44

I've had this too OP, but it was more like a lump in my throat like I wanted to cry but couldn't. I couldn't speak either. It still sometimes happens when I feel particularly depressed and I don't want anyone to talk to me either.
My symptoms are not as bad as yours and it's not a physical problem. I hope you get some answers soon, it must be awful Thanks

Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 16:14

I've had the plum stone a few times which is physically more difficult to deal with. Just managed a few words to da then came in to tell dh and couldn't speak again. Then dd came in and I managed two sentences. I think to just dh Sad.

OP posts:
Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 16:15

It's just dh not to dh

OP posts:
PowerBadgersUnite · 06/05/2019 17:33

I'm sorry you are suffering at the moment sunshine. Do you usually have a good relationship with your dh?

Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 19:21

I really don't know how to answer that, PBU. I suppose so.

OP posts:
PowerBadgersUnite · 06/05/2019 20:15

I don't want to intrude or make things complicated. I was just wondering if there was a particular issue between the two of you that might be causing anxiety and making it hard for you to speak to him. It may not be the case at all. I am sometimes worse with DH simply because I trust him to be able to deal with it when I could never let anyone else see me so unwell.

Sorry, I'm rambling a bit now. Blush

Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 20:39

He caused one of the traumas. I've been in shock for three years and only feel today, when I thought about it, that I'm not in shock anymore.
He's hurt me but he was the only person who could make everything okay before Confused.

Have managed a few more words but it's a really effort. I'd rather not speak tbh now.

OP posts:
OutwiththeOutCrowd · 06/05/2019 21:25

It all sounds very difficult SunshineCake. Flowers

When my DS was little - six years old - he developed a condition called selective mutism. He stopped talking in the classroom, actually seemed unable to talk, but was still able to talk to his classmates in the playground. In his case the condition was precipitated by a toxic relationship with his teacher. She ought to have been someone he could trust but in reality he was scared of her. She seemed to single him out for harsh treatment. In the end I had to take him out the school in order for him to get better.

Apparently adults can also suffer from selective mutism and I thought it worth mentioning in case you can see any parallels between my DS's experiences and yours.

Is there anyone you trust to 'talk' to - family member or friend - even if it's to have a written conversation with them? You would probably benefit from some form of counselling with an experienced professional to find a way to process your feelings about what's happened to you too, particularly as regards your relationship with your DH.

Could you hum or chant or sing quietly just to keep in touch with your voice?

Just a few thoughts. x

Original poster
SunshineCake · 06/05/2019 21:42

OWTOC - I am sorry you went through that with your son. I hope he's okay now?

When dh and ds were in the room I spoke to When he left I then couldn't talk to dh. I don't know it was conscious though? I've managed a few words to dh just then. I'm stressing about having to talk tomorrow but I know I'll struggle with dh if not others.

Dh has hurt me but it was three years ago. I wi see if my recent therapy has caused this. . ?

Going to bed now. Will think

Thanks again everyone. You've been very kind.

OP posts:
PowerBadgersUnite · 07/05/2019 09:47

Three years is nothing in terms of trauma. I'm having therapy for things that happened over twenty years ago and they still impact me every day.

You mention you have had therapy recently. It can be that things can seem to get worse before they get better when you start therapy as you are letting things into the open that you have surpressed for a long time. I would agree with the pp that you should seek further support from a professional, though that might mean finding a new therapist if the one you had before isn't right for you.