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Original poster

I really hope I'm not alone so I can get some advice and give some hopefully

277 replies

SunshineCake · 04/05/2019 20:03

I keep having episodes of not being able to speak. Just had my fourth one but it's different from others. Has anyone else had this?

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Original poster
SunshineCake · 31/05/2019 15:41

Hi thislido, sorry but I went up to bed soon after I last posted. Just felt awful emotionally and I've struggled a bit today too. Hit the post in the car park, then found two lost children and got tearful then panic when I thought my purse had been stolen followed by my dog being a bit naughty. I'm shattered as been awake since 5:25 and I have had a very busy day. Have to go out in half an hour to pick up ds1 but then I'm in for the day and just need to finish dinner. I have peeled the spuds and have the meat already in the slow cooker.

I will take a look at the link. Thank you very much.

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Original poster
SunshineCake · 31/05/2019 15:42

Can I just ask, is the book for when there has been a trauma in the marriage?

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thislido · 31/05/2019 20:39

Oh my god, that sounds like the day from hell! Full of the kind of things which you might deal with normally but which all together, or when things are a bit much anyway, are just overwhelming!

Will dig out my copy and have a look over the weekend, can’t remember, but I’ve meaning to get it out and read it again.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 31/05/2019 20:58

It's like the straw that broke the camels back, isn't it?

I just feel almost on edge, like I'm scared or anxious and panicky and waiting for something bad to happen Confused.

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Original poster
SunshineCake · 01/06/2019 19:42

Really don't like my husband right now. Dangerous thoughts. ☹️

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thislido · 02/06/2019 13:10

Well it’s ok not to like your husband. What seems dangerous about it?

Original poster
SunshineCake · 02/06/2019 15:27

At best I feel like I want to leave him at worse not be here anymore

We talked this morning. Have had a good day. Hugged me when ds1 was rude to me. Hasn't done what I said I'd like but the other stuff made up for it.

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thislido · 02/06/2019 21:05

Well if you do eventually have to leave him, it won’t be the end of the world, it never is.

Sounds like your day was ok and like you’ve got more to talk about in therapy!

Original poster
SunshineCake · 02/06/2019 22:36

I need to explore why I'm frightened that the therapy will mean I'll feel I want to leave dh.

I still love him. I still like him. I do want to be with him. Just, sometimes I'm sad.

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thislido · 03/06/2019 11:04

Yes that sounds like something definitely worth exploring.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 03/06/2019 12:43

I had better make a note as my memory is shocking at the moment Has been for a while.

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thislido · 03/06/2019 13:13

I have a note on a my phone that I add to whenever I think of something I want to talk about in therapy.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 03/06/2019 19:11

I've started adding things in my calendar so it flashes up as I go into my appointment otherwise I'll forget.

Had a very busy day today.

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thislido · 04/06/2019 20:27

That’s a good idea. I do forget sometimes and then am really annoyed!

Original poster
SunshineCake · 04/06/2019 22:28

I used to have such a good memory. Then I had kids…

I've been worried today I might have to stop therapy before I'm ready.

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thislido · 05/06/2019 10:59

I used to worry about that a lot. Why do you think that might happen?

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/06/2019 14:15

Just because she mentioned if I wanted a break I could have one. I told her I wasn't ready. I flip between feeling like I'm not going to need loads more to not knowing when I'll be able to stop.

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thislido · 05/06/2019 16:18

Oh that’s just her making sure you know you could take a break if you wanted to, it doesn’t mean she thinks you should stop or is trying to get rid of you.

It’s hard to plan ahead because you don’t know how you will feel. I think they best thing you can do is just take it a week at a time and perhaps tell yourself you won’t think about when to end until you’ve had a good few weeks of feeling like you’ve got close to finishing. It can be so up and down that it’s best not to make a decision based on a few days.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/06/2019 19:18

Oh that's a relief. Thank you so much for posting that. I don't feel ready yet. Do counsellors ever say it's time to stop and insist even if the patient isn't ready ?

It's good advice to have a few sessions while feeling I'm ready to have a break or stop as then I'll know for sure rather than knee jerk reacting.

I feel it's recent that I again couldn't talk to dh so that's a factor but then this morning I was very clear on my feelings whereas previously I might have let things go and either stewed or been upset. I've got very good at telling him what I'm feeling and what I need from him.

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thislido · 05/06/2019 20:13

No they don’t. But I totally understand why you’re worried about it because I had really long term therapy and honestly I think I worried about that for the first couple of years, let alone weeks or months! And then gradually I realised it wasn’t going to happen and when I look back on it now I don’t know where I got the idea from, but I had felt so sure it was a possibility. Interestingly I was posting on another thread about therapy a few months back and a couple of other people said exactly the same thing!

My experience had been that the progress isn’t always very linear, so I’d feel like something had got better and then I’d have a setback and then it would pick up again. Of course if you stop you can always go back again, lots of people do, but it would be good to know that you’ve stayed long enough to be able to ride out the kind of stuff that will inevitably come up when life doesn’t quite go to plan, or you’re both tired, or one of you is a bit down, or something happens with the children etc etc.

Original poster
SunshineCake · 05/06/2019 22:14

Shucks I thought I posted but it isn't there

I was seeing another well being person and then told her I hadn't wanted to come that day and she said something which upset me and at the end we discussed having a slight break. I said I'd book in but a couple of weeks later than normal. Every time I thought about booking I remember what she had said and decided not too. I still haven't been back. I wonder if she realises why. I don't feel I need her kind of help anymore anyway but I could have struggled all because she said something thoughtless.

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Original poster
SunshineCake · 12/06/2019 13:33

A week has gone by. I hope everyone is okay?

Just had a big response at my therapy. Lady had to ground me.

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thislido · 12/06/2019 13:44

I was just wondering about you! I’m ok thanks, just had a really good therapy session where things started emerging that I hadn’t anticipated, but in an interesting rather than traumatising way!

Were you ok by the time you needed to leave?

Original poster
SunshineCake · 12/06/2019 15:32

Wasn't fully back to normal and have had episodes since but hoping once I go get ds and dh is home and we've had tea and a chat I'll feel better.

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Original poster
SunshineCake · 12/06/2019 15:32

Do you want to tell me more about your session?

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