It was most likely complete Bone Marrow failure, her white and red blood cells were almost non-existent. The vet had never seen anything like it in his 30 years.
My first suspect when she collapsed in the hall was that she had got a knock outside, she didn't. Her body had given up.
She only moved once from the hallway and that was to hide under my bed. Where I scooped her into the carrier to the vets. She must have been hiding to pass away.
She was fine up until yesterday, she woke me yesterday morning as normal, by sitting on my chest, head almost on my nose, waking me up to demand feeding time. I was almost 10 mins late, how dare I?
She was in a few weeks ago getting her jabs updated. She was also in at beginning of March and was her usual feisty self with mastitis.
She seemed healthy in every way and last full check up she came thru with flying colours. The vet knew straight away she was v ill yesterday as she didn't hiss at him for a change. She is very feisty and aggressive with him, just whimpering instead.
The kindest thing was to let her go as she wouldn't have a quality of life from there, she was in pain only the last 20 mins or so that she whimpered. She already had loads of pain relief.
While she could have been taken to the specialist vet, it would be another 50 miles in a car, with people who she had never met before who would stress her out and I couldn't stay with her which would stress even more, she wasnt fit for the journey as she was passing away before our eyes and as cruel as I felt, I made the decision to make her end quick and I am trying to take comfort in that. She could have had a few hours to go naturally but would have been painful, so it was for the best for her, not me.
She was my best friend in the world, I loved her with all my heart and so I had to let her go. It hurts so much. She let me cry into her when depressed and slept in my bed at night, the bed is so lonely tonight.
.
She was such a good cat, last Nov I came to a point where I was about to end it by OD, my meds are in a dossette from the chemist and kept in a safe, I broke the safe and as I sat on the ground getting myself ready to take them, She jumped up on me and wailed at me like I never heard her apart from then, when I calmed myself down and rang the MH crisis team, while I was on the phone, she took the edge of the dossette pack in her wee mouth and pulled it away into another room as if to say "don't you do this on me. Im not letting you".
While getting MH help over the following days, I cried a lot but nothing like I have since yesterday evening, she would come up to me on the pillow and let me snuggle my face into her belly and let me cry into her while she gave me comforting purrs. She was a massive tissue. She was a very special cat.
Tonight is the hardest, I made myself a scrambled egg in the microwave and I missed the beady eyes sitting on her stool watching me, not that she would have any people food but so she could supervise all I did. My showers she would sit in the bathroom sink so she could see behind the curtain in case she would miss something.
The toilet, well I have to learn to go on my own again without her supervision. The funniest toilet incident in her time was when a friend was using the toilet, she snuck into the bathroom and as friend sat on the toilet doing her business, puss saw ass cheek and up on back paws and licked ass cheek as you do, the scream was piercing but hilarious. She didn't see the cat behind the toilet again. I came to the bathroom door and retrieved her. The friend has never used the toilet here since.
Thanks for listening all.