I neglect myself and it's showing

[inmyownworldagain]

OK this may be long.

I will just write a list of what I avoid

• I cut my own hair - too anxious and paranoid for hairdressers
• I don't brush my teeth often - once every 2 weeks ish
• Same underwear for days - have no nice knickers
• Stay in same clothes/pjs for as many days as possible
• Don't brush hair, even after a shower
• Hair lives in messy bun - half of the time greasy roots
• no makeup daily - for occasions, eyes, lips and cheeks
• Most clothes from charity shops - not much style sense
• I don't fuel my body well with food - nothing or everything
• Take 4 different medications - one of which I take too much

I do have a partner and children, I feel a let down as a Mother and a Woman. I can't give myself basic needs, I don't put myself last I'm not even on this list.

How do I start fixing these to start with...

I know, I sound disgusting.

Maybe it's a higher dose you need Batsy? It can take ages to find one that suits you. I still need to go and get mine put higher.

Cleaned my teeth today, clean knickers on too, not bothered getting dressed as we've just had a lazy day. The washing up is done and the house is tidy so I'm going to see my Mum tomorrow without flapping about the house before I can leave.

I'm going to brush my teeth when the youngest does hers at bedtime then I've started my twice a day challenge. Scared to start as I will have to do it every day but that's what I'm suppposed to be doing...

Hope you all had a kind Sunday. X

Marble .. I don't know. They have totally killed my libido which is affecting my relationship. The gp doesn't really know what to do, it seems. Think it's because it's also my underactive thyroid and the menopause. Who knows what is causing what. Both of those can also cause depression and anxiety.

Gosh you have it coming at you from all sides, I have mostly looked forward to the menopause thinking I wouldn't need the pill anymore but seems I might have other tablets instead. Are you still waiting on hrt?

I'm up, dressed, clean knickers, clean teeth and brushed hair. Done the school run, remembered I have a driving lesson so maybe going to Mums tomorrow instead.

I didn't brush teeth for the second time last night, I realised I sometimes sneak something to eat in bed so I'm thinking that's why I don't brush... seems pointless if I'm going to eat. I need to stop that, didn't even notice it was a habit of mine.

MaryBoBary I really identify with what you said re feeling like you don't deserve to look nice. That is exactly how I feel most of the time. I am trying hard to fight against it at the moment. Going to get myself o line today and try and get a couple of new jumpers. Need some jeans too as have been living in the same 2 pairs... Change them about once a week

I use that excuse to not brush too inmyown but I read recently that brushing is as much about the protection from the fluoride as removing plaque and debris. That's why dentists recommend you brush before breakfast rather than after, so your teeth are protected against the acids in food and drinks. I'm trying to use that bit of info to remind myself my excuses are bollocks and it's still worth brushing even if I am going to eat

I've had a horrible morning, both me and DH overslept, he was late for work and I was in a total panic because I wasn't ready for the window fitters. So I've run round like a blue arsed fly trying to get all my animals fed and sorted and now they've just knocked the door and said they're finishing off the house down the road and will be with me about 11 so I needn't have panicked

Oversleeping means I jumped into yesterday's clothes and haven't washed or done teeth yet but will get it done before workmen arrive. Feel really stressed and anxious, it's going to be really noisy and I'm worried about my dogs and cats. Wish stuff like this didn't stress me out so much, will be so glad when it's over.

How's it going Hiding? I've had my driving lesson and painted most of the kitchen, it's only boring magnolia as we aren't allowed colour but it's fresh and clean. Sorted 2 more bags for charity too.

It's ok thanks, lads are nice and pets are coping, not sure what tomorrow will be like as they're way behind schedule so suspect it will be frantic as has to be finished tomorrow. My biggest worry is moving my cats between rooms, my girl will let me handle her but my old boy is really grumpy and I'm likely to get savaged if I have to pick him up. Am hoping Dreamies will save my skin and I can just get him to follow the treat

You sound like you're getting things done inmyown, I'm still finishing off putting my kitchen back in order so just pottering today really, only one more box of random crap to sort

Aww good luck with Mr Grumpy

I got the paint back out whilst waiting for tea, big mistake I dropped it and it went all over the floor and my beautiful slippers that I never take off in the house. I'm staring at them through the washer door, I think they have survived. Sod the floor

DH spilt coke all over mine the other day, it was a miserable couple of days waiting for them to dry He did redeem himself by buying me a new pair so I now have one to wash and one to wear but mine were dry by then so he wasn't quick enough for full marks Hope yours survive 🙏

Start with the teeth and pants and work up to the bigger things?

The slippers have survived!

Been to Mums today, I got dressed with clean knickers, just scrapped hair back and didn't brush teeth! I'll do them before bed, hopefully

I've had mirtazipine the last few nights so I've slept, I'm not supposed to be taking them anymore but I'm hoping a few won't hurt so I can get in a routine.

Want to ask you all a question about hair.. it's long and the top half is natural and the bottom is old hair dye.
Would you
a) cut the bottom half off so it's all natural
b) dye the whole lot and keep it long?

Hope you've been kind to yourselves today

Hi inmyownworld I've taken mirtazapine periodically in the past to help me sleep. As long as there's no specific reason why you shouldn't take them I doubt it'll be a problem.

Hair ... well, I couldn't cut my hair, it's the only part of me I like but it depends how damaged it is I guess. I'd be tempted to dye it all.

I've just got up. It's been a nightmare here all weekend and today the neighbours are kicking off again. I don't feel safe and I've told dd to message me when she's nearby and I'll go and meet her. I've got the door locked and the safety chain on.

There was a fire in the building at the weekend and now I'm scared it'll happen at night and I won't hear the alarm .. not helping my sleep I can tell you!

But I'm dressed and I've had a quick wash .. I need to shower but I'm aware my dd will be home soon so can't. Hair is in a messy bun and has been for the past three days

On the plus side I've been reading a lot over the weekend which calms me a bit.

Hope you're all ok

My Mum gave me some books today, ones an adult only book don't think she realised it was in the pile. I haven't read in a while, it's really good for taking you away without staring at a screen. I've seen reading as a self care thing so well done you

Jez, that must have been scary! I worked out when we moved in this house there isn't a chance we could fit through these windows if a fire happened, they only open a smidge.
Have you got all the fire safety things like blankets etc?

I could write a whole new thread on my neighbours, they are bloody annoying!

My hair is in good condition, I think. I don't want to cut it but I know I won't keep up with colouring it, I wonder if a hairdresser can dye the bottom half more the natural colour. I'm sick of thinking about my hair and what to do with it. Could just shave it haha.

I live on the ground floor and could climb out of the window if I needed to I think. No, no fire blankets or anything, just smoke alarm.

I would go to the hair dresser and ask, they may be able to do that.

Yes I love reading and haven't managed much recently, but this year I'm making an effort.

I've been tempted to just grab DH's clippers and shave all mine off, unfortunately I don't have Sinead O'Connor's bone structure so don't think I could carry it off It doesn't sound to me like you really want to cut yours inmyown so I would have a chat with the hairdresser about your idea to dye it somewhere near your natural colour I think.

That doesn't sound good Batsy, neighbours can have such an effect can't they, any chance yours will get kicked out soon if they're causing problems? Our NDN is a nightmare but our HA is notoriously rubbish with ASB issues so it's pointless complaining, I just keep hoping there'll be a miracle one day and she'll move out! Would a fire safety check from the Fire service help at all do you think? Pretty sure they still do them if you ring your local station and they might be able to suggest something to put your mind a bit more at rest.

My windows are all done, I've been UPVC'd throughout Doors seem really secure which was my biggest worry, the one at the old house where we had the break in was so flimsy and I really didn't want UPVC again (old one here was solid wood) but this one seems sturdy and has anti snap locks so I'm happy That's it for work now so I can start getting the house properly straight. Hope everyone's had a decent day, I was up, teeth brushed, bathed and dressed by 7am today, that doesn't happen too often

HA here too, but they're had so many complaints they are trying to do something about it. Because the neighbour ous mentally ill the chances of getting her out are slim though.

That's a good idea about a fire check, I'll look into it. I'm no good at phone calls though, I'll look online.

Ahh we are private and NDN owns their house. They were pally pally with the old tenants and took a disliking to us straight away because they miss their old neighbours!

I would just look ill if I shaved it, I don't have the bone structure either I've had a look at ombre hair, I quite like it so if the hairdressers can't do what I want then I'll ask for that. Just need to be brave and phone one.

You could always write a letter or email Batsy, I think here they check if you have enough alarms and that they work and supply you with other safety things like co2 machine? Think that's the right thing, ha.

Well done Hiding, by 7am! I only seem to see that time if I'm awake all night

Found a hairdressers 4 minutes from my house. I can manage that. I will call them tomorrow. I will...

You go inmyownworld! Good luck at the hairdressers.

Well I've slipped back a bit, not brushed my teeth or hair since Monday but I have got clean knickers and clothes on.

Had two kids home from school today with sickness so I'm trying to look after but not breath in their space haha, I've cleaned out the built in cupboard and wardrobe in our room, all clothes and bed linen is neat and tidy. In the kitchen I've whitened the grouting and re-applied sealant round the sink. I've also mowed the front lawn and put grass seeds down. Oh and the wash basket is empty!

I went to the hairdressers as I was on the way to the shop, it was bloody shut! Worked myself up for nothing I'll try again tomorrow.

I'm pleased I've got so much done BUT I'm forgetting myself again, think I'll have a hot bath and read tonight to relax.

Hope you've all had a good day

It's brilliant you're getting so much done inmyown but I'm glad you can see you are slipping down the list again, stop it! Gutted the hairdresser was shut when you'd plucked up courage to go but good for you for saying you'll go back tomorrow, you sound determined

I've done very little today, slept stupidly late and haven't brushed teeth, washed or changed yesterday's clothes Supposed to be going to Tesco when DH gets home but can feel a texted list coming on Feel like I've had enough contact with people for a bit with all the workmen, just want to hide again.

It drains your energy doesn't it, I always need some time to myself after doing most peoply things.

I'm dressed, clean knickers, brushed hair and teeth. Annoyed that I didn't do it for two days, I knew I'd have to self sabotage at some point. I'm trying to forget it and start again.

I need to go to the shop that's past the hairdressers, I'm going to see how I feel on the way as right now I don't want anyone touching me.

Kids are still off and DH is working from home, nothing wrong with that other than I feel like I can't breathe, they're in my space and all I want to do is clear their clutter like I normally do.

Hope you all slept well and having a nice day x

Oh my, I have a hair appointment on Wednesday.

I'm still sweating and shaking but she was lovely, I'll be seeing someone who has more to do with long hair. She gave me 3 hair magazines to look through and said I can have my hair done in bits, like get it washed and cut first then see what colour if any.

I had to come home and take most of my clothes off I'm soaked with sweat, so attractive haha.

So I've got hairdressers and dentist next week. Two of my main problems. I just need to make sure I go!

That's great inmyown, good for you Just shout if there's anything we can do to help make sure you get there, imagine how you'll feel if you can manage to get both things sorted!

Thanks Hiding, I think I've found a colour and cut that I like, it's similar to what I have now but nice Bit worried I've given myself a few too many appointments, driving lesson Monday, Hair Wed, Dentist Friday and then smear and driving again next Monday. One day at a time I guess.

Is your kitchen and windows finished? How've you been doing today?