I neglect myself and it's showing

[inmyownworldagain]

OK this may be long.

I will just write a list of what I avoid

• I cut my own hair - too anxious and paranoid for hairdressers
• I don't brush my teeth often - once every 2 weeks ish
• Same underwear for days - have no nice knickers
• Stay in same clothes/pjs for as many days as possible
• Don't brush hair, even after a shower
• Hair lives in messy bun - half of the time greasy roots
• no makeup daily - for occasions, eyes, lips and cheeks
• Most clothes from charity shops - not much style sense
• I don't fuel my body well with food - nothing or everything
• Take 4 different medications - one of which I take too much

I do have a partner and children, I feel a let down as a Mother and a Woman. I can't give myself basic needs, I don't put myself last I'm not even on this list.

How do I start fixing these to start with...

I know, I sound disgusting.

Yep it's all done now, last couple of days have been a wash out and I've slipped straight back into old habits with washing/teeth/sleep etc. It's at least partly because I got hardly any sleep while it was all going on so ended up exhausted and sleeping loads once no workmen were coming. But it's also because as soon as I have no reason to keep to a routine I just....don't. Not sure how to fix that

I would completely avoid looking at those appointments as a whole block if I was you, one day/thing at a time is exactly right. Don't even think about them til the night before, that way you get a least a full day in between where you don't have anything extra to contend with. If you can manage not to get overwhelmed you'll be on top of the world with how much you will have achieved in just over a week. And you know we'll be on hand for pep talks and support if you need it

Bloody hell I've been at the hospital with one of the kids for two days, three nurse's there had that one name I can't stand so that was ace.

Too tired to function and I'm skint from all the flipping taxi's we had to get going back and forth.

DH says he'll pay for hairdressers, which helps with the fact he wasn't great with me being anxious about going!

I put cleans pants on but everything else has gone out of the window. Came home to a shitty letter and in laws here. I'm hiding in the toilet for now. I need to rest my brain.

Hope you've all had a good few days. Hope you're feeling better Hiding.

Oh inmyown, what a shitty few days, hope DC is ok? I'm not surprised everything's gone to pot and perfectly understand why you're hiding in the loo from the in-laws, just what you need to come home to! Could you plead exhaustion and take to your bed til they've gone? Easier said than done I know Feel free to vent on here if it helps you get through the afternoon, hope you're ok.

Sorry to hear that inmyownworld . Rest and look after yourself

I'm having a shitty time too. Studying in bed late, would rather not get up at all. All I do is watch tv. I'm cleaning my teeth in the evening and managed to shower a couple of days ago.

My housing association want to send people in to fit a sprinkler system and I can't face strange males in my flat and the noise and dirt . I'm refusing to let them in at the moment, but apparently it's a legal requirement so at some point I'll have to give in. But I can't deal with it now. At last over the weekend they're leaving me alone - Thursday they kept constantly knocking on the door.

I've got a doctor's appointment on Wednesday but doubt it'll make any difference. They just keep changing my meds but nothing helps. I'm tired of it all.

Typo... I'm not studying in bed, I'm staying in bed late

I haven't slept at all tonight following a row with exp. I'm going to try and get an hour or so though.

Hope everyone's ok.

Hello all!
batsy, sorry you couldn’t sleep. Insomnia is really the pits.
inmyown, how are you doing?

I got a coffee in bed, a perfect cup of coffee at that. Love it.
I’m going to finish it and then go for a quick run.

This coming week I’m going to focus on make up/face care. I stopped bothering taking it off, some days I missed putting any make up on (I do need it). So this week it’s all about the face 🤣

Just got home from hospital again, got sent to one bloody miles away without any clothes or medication. They couldn't give me something for anxiety :( She's OK, well, it's on going but we know what it is and hopefully be sorted soon.

Aww Batsy, have you got someone, a friend maybe, who could distract you whilst they get on? Would it help knowing how long they will take etc? You are doing better than me, I haven't bathed in ages again. Just managed to brush my teeth not long ago too.

How's everyone doing this fresh Monday? It's sunny here!

Just had a mad hour cleaning the house and I can't wait to get wrapped in the duvet in my own bed.

Batsy, sorry you're having such a tough time, I totally get not wanting to let the HA in, it took a lot for me to have my kitchen and windows done. It does sound like you're going to have to let them in the end though so I'm wondering if you could use this thread to work out how to make it bearable for you? I had to do a fair bit of mental adjustment and some practical stuff to get to the stage where I could let them in so wondered if I (and others, I bet we're not the only ones who struggle with this stuff) might be able to help you do the same.

I do understand though, it was like being under siege when they wanted to come and measure for the windows, they kept knocking and I kept hiding I have PTSD from an aggravated burglary so every time they knocked I'd end up a sweaty mess from flashbacks, bastards Just shout if we can help anyway

inmyown you poor love, sounds like you've really been through it these last few days. Hope DD is on the road to recovery and you can get a bit of rest now, you must be wiped out. I don't think you need to beat yourself up for not bathing just at the moment, you've had enough to contend with

Morning everyone!
I am mulling over ‘stuff’. So I can’t sleep. What I can do though is finish my coffee and go for a little run before work, I promised myself I would once it’s lighter, which it is.
I have pilates today.
My hair is a mess, I haven’t styled it at all lately, I look a bit of a mess. But I did put a sudocream mask on last night before bed (I had an ‘attack the blackheads’ session last night, sudocream calmes my skin)

Hope you all have a good day today.

Good morning everyone, sorry not been around for a while, things have been on a bit of a downward spiral recently.
I'm sorry to see things are rough for you all at the moment.
Take care all, sending you all loving thoughts.

Sorry to hear that Mother, anything we can do to help? I'm supposed to be going shopping today but am currently lying in bed making excuses to myself about why I can't go. The 'wanting to hide' thing is back with a vengeance this week and I can barely bring myself to open the blinds as it lets 'outside' in Ridiculous I know

Today I had clean knickers and clothes on. Not done teeth or hair. I'm at the hairdressers tomorrow so I best wash it tonight... or in the morning I spent most of today cleaning the house again, you could tell I hadn't been here. Scruffy gits. I had music on so I've been dancing and singing along. It really helps!

Did you go for a run or pilates fencing? I can never control my breathing to run long enough. Feels like my throat is freezing and closing up lol.

It's not ridiculous, hiding, you've had a lot on. You just reminded me that I left my curtains closed for that long all the windows went super mouldy not envy. I admitted to DH last night that I struggle to go out, he doesn't understand being anxious so he's not very helpful.
We need to think of something to help us get out and about more...

Sorry to hear things are rough. I'd say we all need a holiday but we wouldn't turn up

I'd say we all need a holiday but we wouldn't turn up

that actually made me laugh inmyown, a minor miracle today so thanks! I'm having a shit day, been arguing with DH by text (he's away with work) since last night so feeling pretty crap. No teeth, no wash and yesterday's clothes again, total fail

Yes to needing to get out more, problem I have is I don't actually want to even though I know it would be good for me. Really hard doing what you know you should rather than what you want/feel you can cope with though, hence no running or Pilates for me either

Really hope everyone else is having a better day, someone needs to buy new knickers and inspire us all again

I often wonder what's wrong with just staying indoors, I like being at home. But yeah, it's not quite normal is it when it's day in day out. If everyone went inside whilst I went out that would be great!

Oh no, I hate text arguing, you can take things any way you want and if your mind is like mine it takes everything so so personally. Do you like him working away? I wouldn't mind my DH buggering off once in a while, I'd love the bed to myself and not clearing his mess up.

I nearly asked if anyone has bought knickers I've decided to get a few more as one of the packs I bought dig in and things are stressful as is without knickers squeezing my fat bits haha.

Hope tomorrow's a better day for everyone and fingers crossed your DH realises he's wrong and stops arguing

One day at a time

Did I hell. As soon as I said it, DD walked into my room and a mighty shitfest storm ensued. It was spectacular, all before 7 am.
Then in the evening, I had a shower, put my pilates gear on and a friend having a meltdown walked in, had 3 hours of listening.
I was actually getting short of breath. Just sitting there listening, like the air was being sucked out.
Then came on here and laughed my head off at we wouldn’t turn up to a holiday. I need sleep.

he really should have grasped that his default position is wrong by now, I've proved it to him often enough We're on slightly better terms now, tbf he's really tired and run down atm so I really ought to cut him some slack, hard when I'm feeling frustrated and over sensitive though, not a good combination.

I don't like him working away no and he hates it but I do think it's good for us to have some space from each other sometimes so it's good from that perspective. Mostly I just feel like I spend my life waiting for him to be at home (and actually awake) for more than 5 minutes, we're like ships in the night a lot of the time.

Sounds like you'd be fine if every bugger else would leave you alone 8Fencing. I think we might have been a bit hasty about this holiday, a bit of peace might be worth turning up for actually

Good luck at the hairdressers tomorrow OP. Let us know how it goes x

What a mentally draining day yesterday Fencing, 3 hours! Does she at least listen to you?
Anyone who walked in my room before 7am would face a shitstorm from me haha. I reckon you've had your fill this week, so it's back to you, your face and running

Do they ever grasp it Hiding

Thank you, whataremyoption. Scared and excited.

Not slept all night but, hopefully later today I'll have lovely hair and not agreed to something I don't want. I'm desperately trying not to concentrate on the fact that someone will be touching me.

Hello all. About to do the school run. There is a wash on (my bedding, I can’t remember how long it’s been since I changed it🤭, must be 3 weeks by now, yuk).

DD apologised when she came in. Friend....I have no idea if anything good came out of it, but I listened.

Good luck at the hairdresser :) inmyworld. Pretend you’re going to the Oscars afterwards ( when secretly you’re just off to buy some knickers). So if you start freaking out, or she asks ‘got any nice plans for today, love?’, just imagine her face if you blurt out: actually, yes, I’ve got an exciting afternoon, I’m off to buy an edible crotchless tanga.

hiding, you can be the queen of the remote!!!
Seriously, is anybody watching Queer eye on Netflix? I LOVE those boys, I seriously seriously think you should watch it. They are AMAZING.
I love them so much I would buy the box sets, and I don’t buy boxes.
Right. School run, food shopping, regroup.

I didn't go.... I thought of every excuse not to, I even stopped myself coming on here to say I'm not going so I couldn't be talked round. What's that all about? I mostly kept thinking it will take away the time I have in the house on my own. The cost etc..

This is the first day I've had to myself in ages with everyone being ill last week then hospital all weekend. I've done nothing at all other than make myself some toast and tea.

Excuses I know. Now I can never walk that way to the shop.

I could punch myself in the face sometimes.

No judgement here inmyown, it's bloody hard when this stuff is so far outside your 'norm'. Trick now is not to spend the rest of the day feeling bad and let that drag you down. You've had a lot to contend with the last few days, it's no wonder you're on overload and couldn't do it. So no punching, yourself or anyone else, right?

Don't be too hard on yourself, you're not disgusting! One thing at the time, you don't have to do it all at once. Start with what you feel most self conscious about. Once you have that tackled, next step. Give yourself some time!

I've mostly forgiven myself now, just feel bad as I did even call them. All that effort going in the first time for nothing too.

Good thing - The last two days I've made meals from scratch and everyone ate and enjoyed them! I'd say that's winning, there is always at least one who whinges! We've been trying to eat better so I'm happy.

I have clean knickers and clothes on, I think I have the knicker changing habit down, just need to get back brushing my teeth. I can sit and pick at myself or I can go back to basics. Just have to keep going.

How's everyone else done today?

Focus on the wins OP. You made the appointment in the first place! That's a big deal! You're doing great 👍🏼

Brushed my teeth today! Clean knickers and clothes on. My hairs minging so it's in a messy bun.

Just been cleaning as usual today. Had about 4 hours sleep as the songs I had been listening to yesterday would not get out of my head, I tried singing (in my head) to the end of the song but it would just start going again haha it was quite stressful I couldn't concentrate on anything else, this little voice just kept singing over and over.

How's everyone doing?