To think it's ok to make myself sick sometimes?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

Ok I know not everyone does it. But I make myself sick if I've drunk too much or if I feel like I'm bloated and had loads to eat. It makes me feel better. Today I ate 6 packets of crisps because I feel stressed. I made myself sick. That doesn't mean I have an eating disorder though does it? I feel better, I don't plan to do it again, but I feel better now. Cleansed I suppose.

Far sorry for the bit of a hijack of your thread but I should probably thank you for starting it! I'm doing something about this today. I hope it's been helpful for you and really wish you all the best

It will affect ur teeth eventually the stomach acid from ur sick on ur teeth will corrode them, it's a fact..
U defiantly have ur eating disorder again, Iv been there.. sorry
U need some CBT or something.. ur gp has to help

I think we've established that stomach acid isn't great for teeth, but realistically if it was twice a week or sporadic then I'm not sure if would have a huge impact. It's also unlikely to dissuade me, since it's a MH issue and not something rational.

I'm glad it's helped you a bit Blanche.

As well as damaging your teeth, it causes your U&Es to be out of sync, in particular your potassium levels. Your GP can refer you to an Eating Disorders Unit.

@maddingcrowd

I had disordered eating/ orthorexia for about 4 years - it replaced other obsessive behaviours - it’s like I always need a coping strategy that’s entirely in my control. You’ll know the irony is- that’s when I have least control. It didn’t help that I looked phenomenal while I was in the grip of the ED- and people were really encouraging me without realising...

It came to a sudden stop when I fell pregnant (although still exercised daily)... but then I experienced severe postnatal anxiety .... surprise surprise.

What’s helped is pscyhotherapy, weekly, for the last 2 years. If you can afford to, I’d recommend it.

Good luck to you - were very similar on paper (single mum, high pressure job, “copers” externally) - so I do empathise

Oh SHIT. Op that was meant to be flowers!!! I’m so sorry- that was horrible unfortunate....

The people trying to shame the OP into stopping her disordered eating by saying her teeth will rot are disgraceful

No-one is trying to shame anyone, people are just pointing out the facts.

I do this all the time. I have bulimia.
You should try and get some help for the binging.

Hi Farontothemaddingcrowd,

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources - here. One of the organisations listed in the webguide is Beat eating disorders - they have a helpline open 365 days of the year from 12 - 8pm (weekdays), 4 - 8pm (weekends) - 0808 801 0677. They also offer one-to-one webchats and support groups. Please do take a look here.

Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We're going to move this thread over to our Mental Health topic now.

Sending good wishes, OP.

The only time I have deliberately made myself vomit is if I have been extremely nauseous and vomiting relieves it. That's only been occasionally. Otherwise there would be something odd about doing it.

I worked with a lady who always did this. Not day to day. She was around a size 12 and ate mostly healthy but if ever we went out for a working lunch she would always make herself sick when we got back to work as she said she couldn't concentrate if she was too full?!
To be fair I never really looked at it as an eating disorder as she didn't do it regularly. Just if she really fancied something and had a bit if a binge but knew that she'd feel uncomfortable afterwards . I did find it odd though!

OP - I suffered for 10-15 years quite severely with bulimia. None of the health scare stories had any effect on me so people need to stop going on about teeth!! This behaviour is so compulsive and out of the person’s control that when it’s happening no sane reasoning has any effect. You must be suffering so much inside and feel so worthless, I remember how hopeless I felt and that I wasn’t worth even feeding properly and that I somehow needed to punish myself for being such a worthless person. It was the lowest, hardest time of my life. Luckily my parents fought for me to go to the Priory and it took 4 months to change my mindset as I couldn’t see any other way to get through life. I know you don’t have this option and maybe you don’t think your purging too much at the moment but this behaviour gets so addictive and I found I always needed to binge & purge more and more to get the same high & ‘cleansing’ feeling and the spiral sped downwards. I also wasn’t 100% present in my life even though I was high-functioning with a great degree behind me and at the start of an amazing job ... I couldn’t get close to friends and family as I was hiding such a horrible secret. I felt so ashamed all the time. In all my therapy, the thing that I think was the most powerful was when they got me to find a photograph of myself as a child - about 7 or 8 years old I think - and they asked me to look at that little girl and ask if I would punish her the way I felt I needed punishing. It made me so sad that I was still that innocent little girl who just isn’t coping with all the pressures and expectations of life. I kept that photo so close to me for months and gradually it helped give me the strength to believe in myself and stop hurting that little girl inside. When I feel weak moments now, I try to remember the photo and I know that that little girl just needs love and care, and not to be hurt again and again.

I don’t know if this well help as you really need lots of therapy and support, but please remember that you are that little girl inside and right now you haven’t got anyone looking after you, so please try to take that little girl, give her a long hug and say that you’ll look after her. And somehow find the strength to fight for yourself.

@TheSheepofWallStreet that made me laugh!

Thank you @givemesomewineplease
I'm sorry you went through that.
I think people going on about teeth are seeing this as a physical issue when the issue is mental. I could stop but if I don't address why, I'll simply find other ways to self harm.
I also don't feel it's out of control yet, but obviously I need to be careful.

It is out of control already, it affects your eating, behaviour and physically. Probably in ways you might not realise but others would. You are asking others to validate this and denying those who won't.

Of course it's out of control OP.

I am not asking anyone to validate it. I'm posting for support I think the title of my thread was misleading. I know it's not normal. But it's also not as black and white as some posters are suggesting. There are degrees of disorder and at present I do not meet clinical definitions. That's not to say I won't decline, which is why it's important to be careful.
I'm not looking for someone to say 'Great! Carry on!'
My mindset with eating has been flawed for a long time. I have guilty feelings with food and eat for comfort.
I also bite and scratch my hands when I'm stressed and dig my nails into my palms. These are all coping behaviours because I'm finding it hard to deal with everything I have to manage.

It is actually not unlikely that I won't do it again for a few months. It depends. It is sporadic. But it could get worse. I've always had periods of not doing it, but I seem to be experiencing acute stress at the moment that's triggering it.
What doesn't help is when people are condescending and post as if I'm simply unaware that this is a very silly thing to do....

I used to have an eating disorder and then the reality of giving myself a heart attack from electrolyte imbalance, or ripping a hole in my oesophagus from purging and leaving my children without a mother soon made me stop.
Your post comes across as attention seeking. Get help and find a healthy way of coping. You know what you're doing and what harm it can do. Your teeth are the least of your problems.

I probably AM attention seeking. That's so kind of you to point out. I'll stop doing it now.

I used to have an eating disorder and then the reality of giving myself a heart attack from electrolyte imbalance, or ripping a hole in my oesophagus from purging and leaving my children without a mother soon made me stop.

You were very lucky if you could stop without help but that’s quite unusual among people with eating disorders.

Thanks purple. It makes me laugh 'Go and find a healthy way of coping' as if it's that easy! I think it's a total lack of understanding.

It's like telling someone with anorexia to just eat.

It's like telling someone with anorexia to just eat.

Spot on. Or someone who is depressed to just snap out of it.

It’s hard to believe someone who has had an eating disorder themselves would say something like that.

Haha Perverse, brilliant advice there! Wow OP (and fellow bulimics), you are now cured.