Parents of anxious kids/ teens support thread

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi
Welcome to parents of anxious/ teens thread.idea is to share tips and advice and listen and support each other on days things are getting tougher

Hi, my dd is only 8 but I can't find any groups on Mumsnet for tweens with anxiety. She has also started signs of puberty and the hormones are definitely making her anxiety and behaviour much worse than before. Please can I join and post on here for some advice?

Just checking in . Hugs and positive vibes to all of you facing very challenging situations.

2gemini - my kids have also said similar things ("I wish I was dead", etc) and it's truly alarming. I agree, context is important and I think many of these statements are somewhat normal (according to my son's psychiatrist and Dr. Google). If hubby isn't keen, can you make a GP appointment and bring up this concern?

Bigbus - I see you . You are strong and can get through moments that often feel insurmountable.

Lepetitpiggy - I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. I struggle on and off with health anxiety so I know how exhausting it can be. I believe it is a lot more common than we think. Are there any mental health services other than camhs in your area? School? Youth helpline?

Zoo - I've known you the longest and by now feel quite invested in your DS . The Wellbeing café sounds wonderful - think we would all like to go! . How are you feeling today - you've had a very stressful time of it too. I have had those 'losing the will to live' moments - I think those of us here understand. ❤ Are you planning any self-care today? Something to look forward to? I hope so - you really deserve it.

Worn out lately - been feeling like old glue barely holding my family's needs together. Stress has led to major blowout with "D"H this morning. Very long story. I'm tired and just want chocolate .

Viking I could eat my body weight in chocolate at the moment
Not had time for self-care last two days,and it's starting to force a few cracks big holes in my patience tbh
Am planning a few quiet minutes tomorrow at well being cafe
"D"p is a worry as we have the meet at school wednesday and I need him on board and in sync with me as he's adamant he's coming,at this point his an inert means he's agitated,not concentrating and prone not listening either.he also lies under pressure to what thinks people want to hear.hes a lousy liar but us insistant no one can tell.wish I was going alone!!
Sending big hugs your way.xx

Tmara of course you can join us.welcome aboard
Would you like to tell us about how things are at the moment?

Viking I took this last week on a walk with D's and planned sent privately ,but can't seem add photos so here it is anyways....British countryside at its best.xx

Hi again - bloody work getting in the way of mumsnet !! DD is the 13 years, she's in year 8 and is doing really well - they do both set themselves exceptionally high standards and get stressed when they don't meet them. DS19 worked non stop for three years for his gcses and A levels - it got to a point where I was having to make him stop studying.

DD has been referred to CHUMS which is an alternative to CAMHS and has a shorter waiting list so hopefully will be seen soon ish. It's just so difficult at the moment with grieving for mum and all of this. I do have an amazing dh and fabulous older (very calm!) dd so I am lucky in that respect.

lepetitpiggywhat's CHUMS?pleased to hear your DH is supportive.is DD starting to fret over GCSE options?(I've got one in year 10 ploughing thru the coursework and D's should be in year 8.youngest is year 6,eldest is grown up)
Camhs here this afternoon.wellbeing this morning.hopefully D's going to see a lady who can felt and she's going to show him how today

Ds managed to show himself in full swing of anxiety at today’s pshycologist appointment so we have agreed to try a trial of setraline to see if that helps.

I think it’s really helpful when the person treating them sees the whole full-on panic (even though it’s distressing for everyone at the time) because it means they know just what the family is dealing with. I hope the meds help. How are you feeling?

CHUMS is a service that was set up in my area to deal with the long waiting lists for CAMHS although it's still quite long! she decided her other arm was hurting last night and had another anxiety panic. I have got her listening to head space with me but she's not really taking it in. DS is back from university on Friday so that will be good hopefully we can have a good few weeks !

Hello all
Have been prioritising my eldest for a change this week - wish I could clone myself sometimes or have multiple arms like Shiva/Durga. Sure you all know the feeling. Nice photo zoo

Hi everyone
Prioritising the eldest is essential. It's hard on the siblings. My dd1 really feels it.

Dd2 nearly didnt make it into school yesterday. Walked in upset :(
She thenactually took herself to student support (I found out at the end of the day) so I'm quite proud of her. I was able to reinforce that she took control and the day wasnt as bad as she expected.
I just cant get much food down her still. The slightest thing puts her off her whole dinner so I'm very worried.

The photo in the country up thread looks lovely :)

Zoo gorgeous photo - I like practicing creative visualization to imagine running away put me in a more positive frame of mind. This photo is just the sort of thing I love. It is therapeutic - thank you

Yes them seeing the distress helps. When I went to pick up the prescription earlier they told me they had found a separate place for him to wait next time so he doesn’t get distressed like he did yesterday.

I’m ok(ish!) just trying not to worry too
Much!

Meet at school today,I'm cautiously optimistic!
School have offered science and maths textbooks to learn stuff then do the online revision testing they initially gave us.history and geography teachers will be contacted after Easter and he will have projects on given topics for that and looking to see can do anything d.t based too.head SENCO is taking charge of rounding it up and our go to if it doesn't materialise
They're all suspecting ASD issues,it's a 9+month wait list for assessment here but o.t reckons within another couple weeks she probably will have enough evidence to support that.if that is suggested SENCO can put him on their register and then fend off the LEA over attendance.theyre worried if he has too long off tho he will become entrenched and not see why he has to return to school even tho he acknowledges he wants to be at school learning.hes horribly isolated with no friends and he sees no kids his own age now really(our church predominantly over 50+,except few other kids in Sunday school but he doesn't interact with them😞)

sirzy hard to watch your child struggle,but so useful for professionals to see how much things impact
Lepetitpiggy hope time with D's is good
Rage if only we could replicate!it's hard try give everyone attention when anxious children need so much
Eustfor dd.she did so well!!

Hope everyone's ticking over ok

If I get chance any other good walks I will add photos,being in quiet areas of nature soothes D's and gives me peace and rejuvenation!!

I hope you don't mind me sharing this, but DD1 was in a dance show tonight at school (she's in yr 7) and she did so well. Afterwards we all went to an Italian restaurant that we had never been to which was quite loud and busy - she didn't want to come in at all and at first really struggled but she managed to stay and chat and laugh and eat pizza. She got really upset at one point worrying what the waiter thought she would drop her plate but then she said she knows she's sensitive and she's just going to work around it. Im so proud of her because she really persisted through major anxiety and made it through! Honestly I could never have imagined this three months ago.

That's fantastic bigbus She did really well, atta girl!

Have a good weekend everyone (yes I know it's only Thursday but I am ready to drop now )
I rang to register my kids for primary transfer for September this afternoon but got told I can't until mid-June as if they have places you have to accept and attend within 15 days and we aren't due back in the UK until August. Admissions are fun aren't they?! I also suspect getting any adjustments for DS is going to be...an interesting journey.
I will probably need some hand-holding in September
Hope the o.t/senco come through for you zoo, I have to confess poteential school-refusal and attendance are my biggest concern for DS right now but I am trying to think positively and hoping that in the first term they can ease him in on a part-time timetable. We shall see.
I think I need to accept I am going to have to buckle up as it's going to be a hell of a bumpy ride!

rage be plenty of hand holding in September,after summer breaks anxious kids normally quite "challenging"
Bigbus of course you should post that,it's wonderful news.well done DD!!

School run this afternoon.glorious❤️

Photo fail!

Ooophs.i couldn't see photo in first attempt sorry for double post!!

Bigbus that is so lovely to hear. Proud of your daughter.

Mine is eating like a sparrow and hardly touching food. Just arranged the dietician appointment and it is in June so between now and then she will pretty much be living on cereal and oranges :/

Dd still not eating at school and we have established it is because the canteen is dirty. She cant get over that.
Any suggestions? I am thinking I just forget lunch and move to telling her I need her to try and eat a big breakfast and after school snack?

Can she take a packed lunch and eat elsewhere is school? Ds doesn’t go into the hall now he eats in the office (his choice)