Parents of anxious kids/ teens support thread

[Stilllivinginazoo]

Hi
Welcome to parents of anxious/ teens thread.idea is to share tips and advice and listen and support each other on days things are getting tougher

I know I should RTFT but it's so long, does anyone have a younger child who can't verbalise their anxiety at all?
DS is 7 and has ADHD but a lot of his behaviours are anxiety based, the consultant says - mainly refusals.
He won't admit he's worried but will quite often want to do something the last 5 minutes we're there.

drspousewelcome . my D's has huge anxiety issues,some he can't verbalise what sets him off...
2184susan welcome.exam stress on top of anxiety is very stressful and exhausting for you all.my D's hates feeling "odd" he's not good at verbalising what's wrong and he panics over not feeling himself(would that class as health anxiety?).tbh he panics over everything these days though
Hopefully once the exams are over it will (slightly) dampen her overall anxiety a little.have you tried rescue remedy?we've found it helps calm DS with some issues,but not all

Tough weekend here.dp was ment to come but didn't feel well.ds didn't cope well with sudden change if plan.hes also started worrying will have his least copable symptom racing heart and thus of course causes exactly that and he's getting stuck in a fear if it happening then it happens and panics more cycle.its very exhausting😞possibly increased anxiety if finally having work from school to do at home?it's exhausting and all consuming and I feel like I'm struggling to keep my head in the game...tomorrow's another day.time then to try and think if strategies to keep us all going!!

Hope everyone else is doing ok.x

Zoo sorry things are tricky this week. Any change will increase anxiety - the doctor explained to DD1 that if she wants to move forward she’s going to feel more anxious each time she challenges herself, but eventually that anxiety will subside and then she’ll need to make the next change - ridiculously exhausting and very tempting to stop once things are slightly more bearable. I guess the schoolwork is a bit in this area - increases anxiety in the short term but hopefully with the long term plan of reducing anxiety.

Susan before Christmas things were pretty unbearable- DD1 would try to keep herself awake all night because she thought that if she went to sleep she would overheat and therefore this would make her vomit (this was just one of her beliefs). Currently she controls it by not eating which is another matter...

drspouse I’m sure there is someone on here with a younger child with ADHD. This whole anxiety thing is so hard and very difficult to get to the bottom of what is really the problem (and when you do get there sometimes it’s even more bewildering!).

zoo after seeing all your lovely photos I wanted to share my views this morning (we have left London behind for a week in the Lakes!).

I've posted before but since name changed.

Dd18 is severely depressed. She's on sertraline but it doesn't seem to be helping. She's waiting for counselling, after a second assessment - the first time they said she didn't need it!

I'm at my wits end. It's interfering with her A levels as she's stopped working and doesn't go to school all the time.

I do understand as I suffer with depression and anxiety myself but I just don't know what to do. I listen, I'm there for her all the time. We go for coffee and a chat once a week.

I've bought various books but she won't read them, not will she listen to podcasts or watch videos.

She's back at the doctors tomorrow and I guess we're looking at increasing or changing meds. ADs have never really worked for me so I guess I don't have much hope, although I never tell her that.

batsypatsy I remember your story
Good luck at go today

Bigbus is she not eating again?
Thank you for those beautiful pics.boosted me up when I need it most!

Thanks stilllivinginazoo. Dd started cutting again recently, although seems to have stopped again. I just can't bear to see her this unhappy, I wish I could do something.

You are doing something lovely.you are her mum and she knows you are there to listen
Don't bottle up how you feel you can always offload here.x

zoo - Yes I would say that being panicked over not feeling yourself is a part of health anxiety. Ours seems to find something new everyday to worry about (for the past week it's been her jaw 'clicking' and today it's her eyes watering at the sun - she thinks she has something major wrong with her.) We tried rescue remedy for her GCSE's and they didn't seem to do anything really but thank you for your suggestion :)

Bigbus - The problem with sleeping has been going on for what seems forever. It's fevers/temperatures that my daughter struggles with. I know there's almost an OCD aspect to the anxiety as she can't break the cycle at night of touching her forehead,cheeks, back and stomach (she was told at school that these give accurate temperature 'readings') I'm sorry to hear about the eating issue.

Patsy - Sorry to hear this, you - along with everyone else on here - sound fantastic and it's obvious that you are doing the best you can. The fact that the doctors said the first time she didn't need counselling is horrific.

Thank you. I am doing my best but it's not enough. I don't want to watch her suffering anymore.

We got nowhere at the doctors today really, except the doctor said he'd contact the primary mental health team today to find out what they plan to do, in order to hurry things up.

Dd started her period this morning and I do think hormones make her feel a lot worse. I'm considering asking the gp about the pill or something hormonal to try. Has anyone had experience with this? Or is it likely to make her feel worse?

Can't help with that one batsypatsy but I personally find all things sweet makes me more anxious before a period,despite wanting to ear my body weight in chocolate I have to try and resist...

Frustrated here today
Youngest hurt her wrist on tuesday.its still play up today so I left her with dd2 to visit doctors who couldn't call it so we were told attend x-ray dept at hospital..
Dp came to take her and offered drop rest of us in town as I'd planned go in today.ds start as he felt at 10am was way too late to go in and was convinced would be too much for him.i said school hols it be as quiet as going in earlier as people still in bed.he was an absolute nightmare despite being no more busy than if we had gone in earlyhe cannot get his head around perception at all.i got frustrated and cross and end up losing will to live and not doing half things I needed get done
On plus,x-ray revealed just a bad sprain/soft tissue injury and will heal if own accord with rest,ice and exercises!!

That sounds stressful StillLiving, but glad it's just a soft tissue injury.

I'm not sure I'd have any luck getting dd to give up sugar - or caffeine, which probably isn't helping Everything I've read suggests the pill could make matters worse rather than better. Guess I'm going to have to make another gp appointment (waiting weeks) and hope they've some ideas ...

Patsy We are currently trying to get dd on pill but we've also heard it makes things worse. I think it's worth exploring options.

zoo are yours on holiday for Easter now? Dd breaks up tomorrow.

We have the opticians tomorrow for dd before college - she thinks she's going blind.She also thinks she's going to get Parkinson's before she saw it on the news.
I asked her to make a list of this week's worries - my personal favourite: 'was the chicken cooked on the pizza?'
I bought her a colouring book in order to destress and that has seemed to help tonight.

I've just had a long chat with a family friend who thinks dd is a highly sensitive person. I'd second that. She can't handle criticism at all and is a perfectionist.

zoo she is eating a bit more and at different times so to the untrained eye she may appear to be doing a bit better but I can see that most of the time it is planned and controlled. However, she is doing much more and does sometimes eat spontaneously without freaking out (drinking is much more difficult for some reason).

batsy and susan the health anxiety is exhausting! She gets constant anxiety that something dreadful is wrong with her. DD1 says she would rather die than vomit. It’s worrying. Randomly DS got chickenpox this week while we are away on holiday (even though he had it before, but he was very young). He’s a trouper but she lost it - it’s hard because my priority should be the one with chickenpox not the one who is in perfect physical health! Fortunately things calmed down quickly. Overall this holiday has been better than expected so far.

bigbus glad holidays been better than expected.if she's eating more however it happens,see that as a win.x

Susan we are on school hols,broke up last friday.my D's loves his colouring books.he had the morphia collection by kerby tisanes.super intricate so take ages!
I'm partial to settling down with him and his fine liners.we can chat and just be together,not dumping worries and stressing..tiny chinks of the boy I used to have
Patsy I'd say most anxious people are highly sensitive.i am,I can take criticism,but I feel others emotions so powerfully if they are anxious I get quite distressed(yep car rides with D's and dp aren't fun as they're both freaking a bit)and sadness washes over me like I'm being drowned by a wave...

Hi everyone
Hope you are doing ok. I havent quite caught up with everything im afraid.

Batsy- I am highly sensitive, so are my dds. The book - the highly sensitive child, and the highly sensitive person - are good to help understand.

Dd is doing better this holiday. Away from school she is more relaxed. Got in a train today which is amazing, and had a medical appointment without freaking out. Eating still not great but she is more relaxed than normal which has meant I have been able to have some quality time with dd1 which has been nice.

We had a meltdown the other day and dd2 cancelled meeting a friend because she couldn't handle it but it wasnt essential so I'm not going to push. Psychiatrist is now booked for June, but OCD is creeping into behaviours now so I am hoping things dont progress too much between now and then :(

Thanks EustaciaVye, I'll have a look for the books.

Hi all, it's a very long thread so please excuse me for not reading it all so far.

I wanted to ask for some help re my dd, who is 14 and suffers with anxiety and depression.

I have been reading about Citalopram, and i wonder if anyone has had any experience of this medication, please?

Many thanks in advance and sorry to everyone struggling with this.

Italian greyhound welcome
You don't need to read full thread,just hop aboard!
As far as I'm aware Prozac is one of only drugs offered to teens(it is in my neck of the woods anyways).
I've taken citalopram in the past,what kind of information are you looking for?

zoo the colouring book seems to be working pretty well! She picked up an avengers one and she really likes it!

bigbus health anxiety is horrific - i hope your daughter has been feeling calmer over the past few days :)

Stilllivinginazoo thank you. I have a sad, lonely, depressed teen. CAMHS have us on a waiting list. It's all very bleak. I just wanted to know what medication might help, really.

Thanks for replying.

3 weeks on setraline and the difference is very notable. He is choosing to go out some days now which is a massive turnaround

Italian greyhound please feel free to come and offload here with us.its very hard to explain to other people just how exhausting and draining it can be caring for a child you feel has turned into a shell of what they used to be

Sirzy that's wonderful news!!

Sirzy that's marvellous

That's good news Sirzy. My dd takes sertraline but it's not helping. However she forgets to take it a lot. Her doctor won't change her medication because he says she needs counselling not medication. Feeling very frustrated