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The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

896 replies

Aintgotnosoapbox · 14/07/2017 00:39

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

OP posts:
MarriedAroundChristmas · 01/11/2017 10:51

@Aintgotnosoapbox Hope everything goes well for you and your family. Best wishes.

Aintgotnosoapbox · 01/11/2017 14:49

Thankyou Xx

OP posts:
LoveMySituation · 01/11/2017 18:35

FlowersGood luck Aint

pilatesball69 · 01/11/2017 21:33

Hope all's ok. Take care x

velmadinkly · 02/11/2017 06:28

aint I hope it's getting sorted and your anxiety Isn't playing up.

I'm currently doing ok. I'm having the odd flash of anxiety, but other than that I'm cruising along. My work for the counsellor is showing me that I generally 'avoid' as a behaviour towards my anxiety.

Aintgotnosoapbox · 02/11/2017 11:39

Thankyou. Am calm - find that odd but its all about work it seems with me

OP posts:
Cmblue · 03/11/2017 09:29

I hope we're all doing as best we can, awww iv had a few down days but hey ho that's life, bloody just get me a massive bat to keep batting the shit being chucked at me!! Rant over sorry.. I'm just after some advice.. If your under outpatients psychiatrist can your gp change your anti depressants??
Also with anxiety isit normal to get de ja vu all the time??? X

RUthereGod · 03/11/2017 12:43

Can someone help me. I'm at the end of my tether and feel close to a breakdown. To cut a very long story short I am NC with my father, he has a partner who has tried to make my life hell from day one (3 years). I've disengaged as much as possible, keeping quiet whilst she fed shit through my extended family to get back to me. Stupidly though earlier in the year I 'bit' and posted details of what theyd done on FB which got back to her and from that point on she's now trying to get me done for harassment. My father sent me a stinking letter accusing me of ruining his reputation. I ignored it all but now they are telling people I'm harrasing them with silent phone calls, fake appointments etc - none of which I've done. She wont rest until shes got the police at my door.
My anxiety is ridiculous, I'm scared all the time, afraid the police will come - not that I need to as theyll investigate and find nothing from me at all but my rational side will not accept this. I'm catastrophising everything, shaking, feeling sick, I can see that its my anxiety that has got out of control. Last night we had several calls from a withheld number during the night - I'm not sure if its them but Ive spoken to the telephone co to stop withheld numbers today but Its spiralled me off again today.
To make matters worse I have just accepted a new job and Im naturally anxious about that too - I cant go off sick from work as I so want to succeed in the new role, I cant let this step in the way.
Can anyone give me some advice how to stop this dreadful anxiety, Im in permanent flight or flight mode and I dont know how long I can keep it under wraps for.

velmadinkly · 03/11/2017 14:17

Hi all, I've had anothet appt today and for the next week I'm going to engage with the anxiety when it raises it's head as well as saying a positive affirmation when I get an unwanted thought.
So, for example, if I get all anxious at the thought of DH hugging me etc, then I've just got to let it go it's thing instead of trying to stop it or ignoring it etc, because a typical behaviour I do is to avoid situations to try and protect myself.
I've been advised that my anxiety might increase, but this is expected.
When I think back, the two methods I've been given are the same as what Dr. Weekes suggests, except she didn't call it CBT.
I have another appt next week and depending in how I get on we will be looking at discharging me.
I'm both a little excited and scared at the prospect that I'm nearly towards the end of my treatment.

velmadinkly · 03/11/2017 14:23

Welcome, RU, my tip is to buy the essential help fir your nerves book, read that and just accept the anxiety.
Ultimately, you will need to tackle the source of your stress and anxiety.
From what you have written I would tackle it head on and contact the Police yourself and tell them what has gone on and that they are now harassing you.

RUthereGod · 03/11/2017 14:45

Thanks Velma, I am usually such a strong person but this whole thing has gradually worn me down. Any contact with my father brings such a panicky response - I think Ive associated the upset, loss, etc with these feelings and it now gets triggered every time.

My mother and gran suffered badly with anxiety and depression and I could never understand how it wasnt possible to just not be able to 'snap out of it' but I can now see what its like and its just like my brain is my worst enemy all of a sudden, bombarding me with scenarios and blowing the situation up and out of all proportion.
Thanks for the book recommendation, I will have a look on Amazon for it.

velmadinkly · 03/11/2017 17:56

RU look on eBay for the book. I got mine off there for £3.50 or so as an excellent 2nd hand from a book dealer.
Dr. Claire Weekes' (the author of the book) writing has helped me immensely.

RUthereGod · 03/11/2017 18:37

Thanks, I forget to look on eBay, it's often cheaper than Amazon ☺️

Aintgotnosoapbox · 04/11/2017 10:02

Hi all. I'm reading when I can. I'm away from home with my family member in hospital. He's critical at the moment. Am doing ok.
Love to all xx

OP posts:
LoveMySituation · 04/11/2017 18:57

Hang in there Aint, I hope your family member turns a corner and starts to recover ☘

velmadinkly · 06/11/2017 19:18

Hi all
I'm just coming on to say that I've had a brilliant weekend. I've had a very small amount of anxiety today, but other than that. I've been 'normal.
Even if it comes back tomorrow or in a few days then I know it can go away and I can be better.
Interestingly, the treatment my CBT counsellor has set for me this week us what Claire Weekes suggests in her books in a more round about fashion and without calling it CBT.

calmday · 08/11/2017 15:10

Hi everyone. I'm doing really well. I've come off my olanzapine cos of the weight gain and tardive dyskinesia and I've swapped onto a new drug, pregabalin. It's working wonders! Has anyone else tried it? I haven't had any anxiety at all today!

I hope everyone is doing ok.

velmadinkly · 08/11/2017 15:51

I'm glad you're doing well calm and you've found a treatment that seems to be working. Here's hoping it continues to work for you.

MarriedAroundChristmas · 08/11/2017 22:04

Brilliant news @calmday

I went to the cinema to watch Murder on the Orient Express. I had anxiety a lot, nearly had to leave as I couldn't control it. The cinema is definitely one thing that anxiety has ruined for me - not sure which element of it, but it happened today, also whilst I watched Brooklyn a year or two ago.

velmadinkly · 11/11/2017 09:12

It's very quiet on the thread at the moment. I'm hoping it's because we are doing ok.
Anyway, an update from me; I've been discharged from my CBT therapy. My anxiety has been in decline for 3 weeks now other than the odd spurts and it's a matter of just continuing what I've been doing. I can self refer myself back if I have a big relapse so that's a positive.
My therapist also does private appt so if I do need to go back and the wait is too long I'll ask to see him privately.

velmadinkly · 11/11/2017 09:17

@MarriedAroundChristmas your anxious response at the cinema could just be a subconscious memory of the last time of being at the cinema. For example if you were walking down the street and a big dig jumped out and but you when you passed a certain gate, every time you walked past the gate you would automatically get anxious even if you knew the day wasn't there because it had been put to sleep.
Don't stop going to the cinema, you know deep down nothing bad is going to happen, just live through the anxiety.

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