The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hi all still not feeling v good. Thanks for enquiries .
Vel - glad the cbt was helpful hopefully start of path to wellness x

I had a crap night. I had 2 panic attacks during the night. The whole shebang of palpitations, churning stomach etc.
I woke up all tearful.
I don't know if the the focus if the CBT on my intrusive thought has triggered it or the fact DD isn't here or a bit of both. I feel exhausted, but at this present moment I feel much more calm.

Sorry to hear that Velma. Panic stacks are the pits. How did you settle them ?
I am calm today as I have no work. Not sure what to do about work x

And yes , in my experience it will be a post therapy stirring up of memories, feelings . Sometimes I get nightmares xx

Thank you for replying Aint. I've been tearful on and off today. DH is being great though, how on earth he stays so positive and considerate knowing what I tell him I don't know.
I settled the first attack at 3am by listening to my audio book and the second at 6 I just let it ride on by and I fell back to sleep until 7.30.
In my head I imagine and visualise myself being happy and doing happy things with DH, but the happiness is just not there, i just have a panic and fear. I know that this lack of joy is a symptom of the anxiety.
I think my period is due again, so it could be a bit of Pmt on top of the anxiety. If I see an improvements once my period starts then I'm considering going back to the doctors because I do honestly think it's perimenopause and I would live some HRT just to see if I get an improvement. My mid cycle spotting is getting worse and my period isn't as heavy, but not light. My bloods from a year ago showed I wasn't but I know that one off bloods are technically useless. I'm nearly 43 so the doctor generally dismisses anything to do with the menopause at my age.

Hi velma that sounds like a tough day. I'm glad to hear dh is supportive.
Therapy makes me feel stirred up afterwards even when I feel ok in the session. The exception is if I am already having a really bad time like last week, and the session is to explore why, and be soothing and reassuring, not going into new material.
I think you can be peri menopausal for a few years before the menopause. Blood tests are unreliable. Some antidepressants double up as treatment for menopausal symptoms.
I hope tonight you sleep better xx

How is everyone today?
I am calm, so have chance to read through and respond.
Once again, am lapsed in meditation- yet this is my ' treatment' - need to meditated today .
Am going to church today too.

I'm much better today, but I have occasional flutters of anxiety, but overall I'm much more calm.
I reminded myself of an explanation by my counsellor that anxiety intrusive/unwanted thoughts are like listening to the fuzzy radio station where you are quite on the right channel, but hear bits that are clear for brief moments.
I think I'm putting too much pressure myself with regards 'feeling' something other than fear, a bit like the donkey with a dangling carrot on a stick, i can see the carrot, but it's always just out if reach.
aint I'm with you on the meditation, I've lapsed for the past few days.
DH and I wasn't to see Breathe at the cinema last night and it was a good film, but stirred some emotions in me about my Mam.

Hi Velma- take care. I'm not a therapist but I think when we have trauma , like a death, for e.g, it can come out as unearthed feelings in therapy and then can be triggered as it's nearer the surface.
I see this as a good thing, because those feelings need to come out or we carry them round, but trauma brings its memories of fear and in my case hopelessness so I then have to deal with those.
I'm going to listen to headspace and to a loving kindness meditation today. I'm going to post when Ive done it!!! I have been putting off some work I need to do for my job, because of the turmoil . Today Im going to try to tackle that,- no matter whether I leave my job or not, I will stay focused until I do make that decision, also will maybe have further trial of two months and then see.
Everyone take care of yourselves today xx

Hello everyone,

I'm having a rough couple of days - yesterday especially. I'll be back on when feeling better. Best wishes to all.

Hi married 💕sorry to hear you are having a bad couple of days. I hope it will settle. Do you want to talk about it or can we help with anything?
I am more settled so it's no trouble at all.
I can't remember if I told you I have a hot water bottle every night, a wool blanket on top of the duvet and always wear fleece socks etc in the house.
Do you want to join in doing a meditation today? I am still putting everything off, but am shortly going to listen to headspace for ten minutes.
Anxiety is truly crap, and I wish we didn't have to suffer in this way, but we will get the better of it again.
Shortly I'm going to go outside in my boots for a ten minute mindful walk.
When I think I am ok, I neglect mindfulness, and then everything comes crashing down. Also when I start making a list, or goals, I start to feel the pressure . Lol. So it's baby steps for me, and for all of us I think.
First I'm just going to go for a mindful walk.

I've had a lovely afternoon with DH at a National Trust property, just us walking around the gardens and lakes, a browse in the shop and tea and cake in the cafe.
It seemed strange not having DD with us, but it was also nice because boy can she talk and she natters on constantly so even when we do go out for a walk I have little chance to talk with DH because she is nattering on.
Just being outside just talking about nothing and everything makes it all seem so much easier some how.

I'm the same with regards meditation, I don't seem to do it as a priority when I have low or no anxiety, but meditation might actually bring these better days.

Hello, can anybody join this thread. My anxiety drives me round the bend as I feel like I miss out on so much!!

Hi Velma that's great news . I love it outside.
I just went for a mindful walk in the growing darkness x

Hi snow, welcome. How do you feel your anxiety interferes with your life or affects you?

Hello! I'm quite "functional" as in I work full time without taking time off and I can do all the child centred stuff. Just that forcing myself through these leaves me exhausted and all the non essential stuff, including things that I might enjoy like nights out, fall by the wayside as I'd rather go to bed where I feel safe.
I'm also conscious that I'm quite moody and volatile in everyday life due to feeling constantly stressed... Which isn't much fun for others.
I feel sorry for my poor son as I do cry in front of him sometimes!! I do try to control myself but it's hard.

Hi snow, I am the same in that I work, but Have had trouble with work anxiety. In the rest of my life Im ok, but also get anxious after counselling because of events from my past I am working through.

Sorry i haven't read the whole thread but am going to work my way through. It seems as if you guys have developed some strategies for managing this?

Soapbox sorry to hear that work is difficult, how do you cope with that?

I get anxious before work but strangely I'm fine once I'm there and getting on with it.

Hi fellow anxious people. I don't think I've posted here before - came to this topic to start a thread and saw this one.

Aintgotnosoapbox It's clear at a glance that you're a huge source of support here. You're wonderful. How are you doing at the moment?

I have GAD and have been on citalopram for about 4 years. In general it keeps me at a reasonable level of anxiety, but I'm on a slippery slope at the moment. My workplace royally screwed me over a few months ago - shoving me into a new team doing work I hate (involves cold calling - enough said) with a shockingly bad manager. I'm looking for a new job but I'm in a specialist field and pickings are slim. Trying not to panic, but I also need a light at the end of the tunnel before I slip into full not-coping mode.

I took this week off for a mental health break and spent the whole of it ill with a triple whammy of ear infection, cold, and thrush. When I get stressed my immune system fails completely. I don't feel I had a rest at all and I could cry at the thought of going in tomorrow.

I just want to burrow under my duvet and shut out the world for a good few weeks.

Yes usually it's before , just I feel it's too uncomfortable sometimes. When I'm there Im usually ok, though if there are lots of difficult challenges or excess demands I might start to feel stressed.
But it's not the work that's the problem, it's the pressure I put on myself that causes the distress.

I think this is perhaps a big feature of anxiety that we put massive pressure on ourselves. I sometimes listen to my inner monologue and think "wow, I wouldn't dream of speaking to another person like that"

Dailymailreaders: sorry to hear that, it sounds incredibly stressful. I'd loathe any sort of cold calling role. I hope you find something soon.

Hi ladies, I have my first cbt session today. I had to cancel it last week as my son had an emergency doctors. Rescheduled for today but having to take my son with me 😩 He's 7 months old so I know it's going to be difficult but I have no childcare this week as mum is away. I'm so desperate for it though I just need to at least get the ball rolling even if she can give me something to maybe take away and work on for the week? So tired of feeling anxious, it's ruining my life

Good luck Naomi I hope you find it helpful!!

I used to take my ds to counselling sessions as a baby, it worked fine although it depends a bit on the baby I suppose.

Sorry guys can't post at the moment have a family emergency going on and am not at home. Love to all xx