The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

velma it's all such a waiting game isn't it. I agree with you regarding mindfulness, as it brings us into the present, it helps to slightly step us back from worries , thoughts and feelings. It sounds very problematic. I don't have a major problem with worries at present but I had intrusive thoughts after a traumatic experience and it was very difficult. I don't have that now, but I do have a physiological response to different triggers which will then stay with me for a day or two. Mindfulness helps with that too, but it depends how bad it is.

I'm also trying an app that was purposely designed to help with relationship OCD. You basically accept or discard statements such as, I accept difficulties in my relationship, or, it is only a good relationship if I feel happy all the time.

I just thought it's worth a shot as it can't do any harm.

Hi all. I'm struggling a little yesterday and today. I get these symptoms and they don't relate to a worry , it's just there, but then it affects everything I do for that time. When I am tired I can't seem to tolerate it and accept it yet what other choice is there?

aint yes, me too. I can wake just feeling anxious, not In full blown panic, but the underlying sensation of anxiety. I find the mindful breathing helps. I had 3 x 10 minute sessions yesterday and I've already tried to focus on my breath a few times this morning.

DD is away at brownie camp in a few weekends, I'd originally provisionally organised a get together with a few of my friends to come round for food and boardgames on the Saturday evening, so that I was with DH, but there was more of a distraction so I don't focus on what I feel etc. DH has said he would prefer for us to justmdo something together, I'm particularly bothered by this per se, but I'm worrying it won't be a nice time and I'll just be in a blind panic where I'm questioning and analysing constantly.

I know deep down it will be good for us because we rarely have time, just the two of us due to lack of sitters and family close by etc. This worry is definately going on my worry list and I know it's a hypothetical worry.

That should say, I'm NOT particularly bothered by this.

Thank you Velma, have just got home from work and actually today hasn't been too bad. I am trying to

1. Self care and
2. Think, well this is me, I can be confident and trust myself.

But even though I'm pleased about that, I'm still anxious . Not sure why!

Hi all
I woke this morning and it's as though the anxiety fog has lifted, I don't know why or how, but I'm going with it. I can see through the intrusive thought as being nonsense, I have some positive feelings back about DH.
This afternoon i received through the post another Dr. Claire Weekes book called Essential Help for your Nerves and on page 21 where she is explaining mental fatigue she explains about how obsessions and phobias develop when in the state of mental fatigue. She writes, "A fairly common obsession is doubt about loving one's spouse. A nervously Ill woman said that although she knew she really loved her husband, the thought that she didn't kept recurring, so frequently and with such force, she was beginning to think it was true. Of course it was her sensitized response to this fear and it's repetition in her mind that was convincing her. When sensitization and mental fatigue come together, throwing off frightening thoughts can seem impossible."
Dr Weekes goes to say that the woman in question recognised that the thought stuck the most and had the greatest effect when she was tired and that sometimes she could see through the thought and glimpse the truth.
That's me!
This book explains her Face, Accept, Float and Let time pass in more detail in how to overcome anxiety.
She also explains at the beginning of the book the importance of practicing relaxing exercises. So she knew all about the postives of mindfulness meditation etc.
I can't recommend her work enough.
aint I'm pleased you've had a better day, let's hope it continues, but if it doesn't remember another better day is just around the corner.

Hi all. Sorry for not paying much attention to the thread , I have been busy in work this week and now family things all need to be balanced as well.
Velma, that does make sense, it's more a fear or doubt than a belief?
I have been more settled, trying to believe in myself more. And trying not to fix everything all the time, it's a process it's going to take time.
In my case I get chest pain which is all my suppressed feelings and memories, and when I have accessed those feelings and memories and cried I have started to feel as if the chest pain is easing. Still got a way to go. Sort of feeling with the therapy that I want to continue gently for the moment, as if I feel the next step will be hard and I'm a bit tired of pushing myself so much, into work, into therapy. I'm trying to make space to look after and care for myself. I'm going to go for a mindful walk, am supposed to do it every day but it depends on opportunity as well now the evenings are dark.
Hope all are peaceful and well. I'm so sorry if people have posted and I haven't replied or welcomed you, you are all welcome.

Meant to say Thanks for the kind wishes :)

I am still here too! Been reading and thinking of posting but for some reason it felt complicated. It's been a mixture of massive steps forward (only using one bottle of hand wash at a time!! Down from 4) and the usual tiredness, and wondering if the ever filling well of anxiety and spending all day every day doing my best to beat it will ever end. I am worrying about the future a lot, and some weird newish health symptoms. Which I don't do usually, neither do I have health anxiety.

I have to believe I can have a life again. This can't be it forever.

Velma, that's great that it seems to have lifted, hope it stays that way.

Hi aint it's just a normal random thought that sticks because it's so alarming and it becomes an obsession because you feel alarmed / panicked/ fearful at the thought and try to work it out be thinking about it, which then gives it prominence and some supposed meaning. At this point it can bevime an obsession. Dr Weekes goes on to explain there are glimpses of the truth and when the fear grips you must try to glimpse the truth behind the obsession or to glimpse another point of view, and I too have had these glimpses previously.
She explains that these random thoughts cause fear when they are about things/ people we love.
Her work has really made sense to me. I will keep referring back to her work if / when I get a relapse. I'm already finding that when I have the thought the flash of fear isn't so big because I now know what it is and why my body reacts that way.

Hi Lovemy nice to hear from you. Sorry about the thread, I was away and lost track, also it's hard for us all because being online isn't always the way we feel is besypt for us to be spending our time, and yet it is nice to have support, especially in crisis.
Velma, I had a driving/ harm obsession a while back, but it didn't become a disorder if you know what I mean, it was more a reflection of stressors for me at that time.
I'm anxious today with regard to my son, he is going on a trip and I get anxious about the equipment.theres this underlying anxiety I might not pack everything he needs, and there will be a problem. He's feeling off colour so the packing is very slow as well.

Morning everyone hope all having a peaceful morning. I am still unsettled, but ok.
My motto for the day is going to be I can. Maybe I will want to change jobs, but I'm jolly well going to carry on until I make that decision or get a new job sorted .

I am trying to help myself, while also in therapy. But I keep lapsing.
Does anyone want to join me on my plan, or has their own plan of treatment/ meditation they are trying to keep to.
Mine is;
a daily mindful walk, outdoors in nature- good day for that today!!
A daily meditation practice either loving kindness practice or headspace.
Daily gratitude .( this stops me from being too negative )
If you wish to join in, or have your own idea for something simple to do daily please post. It's hard to fit everything in.

Hi.
I think I might suffer from anxiety from time to time. Sometimes I just don't want to decide what clothes to put on so that I don;t end up leaving the house or if I do I go later in the afternoon or go to evening/late night shopping centres. e.g. Bluewater in Dartford, Kent as there will be less people there and fewer 'happy families' with the children and seemingly happy lives. My real life conscience tells me that I don't know their history or their actual life story but the anxious side of my brain the sad lonely part sees the 'other people' as happy and content.

Can anxiety cause a sensation in your rib cage. It is so hard to describe it but i visit a reflexologist and she has said to me on each monthly treatment that she feels a tightness or 'block' in the lung and heart area. I am healthy so keep dismissing it but perhaps it could be anxiety or GAD. What does anyone think about this 'block'. Sometimes i do feel like i breathe/sigh heavily just for a couple of breaths and then the sensation ebbs away.

Hi cats, does it feel as if you want to hide away? That sounds like low mood, or not feeling good about yourself or your life, also maybe you are anxious to see people. How are things otherwise? I get a chest burning feeling of anxiety , but that's me and I know how it feels, it's more like a worried feeling - like that feeling as a child when you nearly went over the handlebars of your bike, but it stays.

I feel like I am a bother and an inconvenience to everyone. Family. Work colleagues, friends. I font want to be thought of needy or attention seeking. Sometimes I'm torn between wants get hugs answer to let all the tears fall and also not wanting get to spill the beans gorgeous fear of seeing get like a drama queen

Sorry for so many typing errors.

Cats- I understand. Sometimes I am strong , sometimes I break down. It's hard to let the story or feelings out in controlled amounts. It's very hard to suffer, and have to carry on as if everything is ok. I can feel it's like one extreme to the other sometimes. And it's very hard to explain and get the story out.

Yes! totally! I feel tongue-tied sometimes. Like the words should come out of my mouth but they get lost somewhere.

If I pay someone a compliment I worry that they will think I am not being sincere and if anyone pays me a compliment think the person is just saying it to try to make me smile/be happy. I never believe the person is being sincere. I was bullied a bit at school. all the they're not talking to me today because they decided not to talk to me today only it would carry on for a few days. Then I would start avoiding situations where i'd expect those girls to be sitting eating lunch or sitting at break time. I would go out of my way not to go to the school toilets during break times and had to ask to be excused from the classroom during lesson so that I could know that I'd be safe from more ignoring and more giggling and sniggering. It has stayed with me for over 25 years. I should be able to switch off that feeling as an adult. but some days it still feels like yesterday.

I make a lot of effort to avoid situations far too often.

I love my niece and nephew very much but I worry that I am an inconvenience to their mum and dad. I will not just turn up at their door. I always text but then worry that I have interrupted their family time. No one has ever said that I am interrupting family time but I have a lot of hang ups about my infertility and it affects so much of my personality.

Bullying is horrendous and it's not your fault. Have you had counselling? I would recommend it, it's helped me very much.

Hi cats and welcome. It sounds as though you have issues around self esteem, but it does sound as though you would benefit from some counselling.

My anxiety is felt first within my stomach and bowel area with that churning fluttering feeling. I also find my mind starts to work fast and it fits about. I carry around a feeling of dread.
So far another good day at my end. Don't I'll join you in the daily activity, mine is to do mindful breathing meditation and my relationship OCD app daily activity.