The lonely journey of anxiety - loosen the tight grip of fear. Support, friendliness thread.

[Aintgotnosoapbox]

Hello. I have been suffering with various forms of anxiety over the last year, and have had the tight grip of fear - at times all pervading and almost existential, at other times just transient and anticipatory, which has led to a lot of feelings of being closed up, strained, and losing connection with others. When this happens I get a certain type of chest sensation which feels like pure fear. Sometimes, I am tired and can't tolerate it. Other times, I feel free and in control of it .
My antidote to all of this is connection, mindfulness, self care and various other techniques I have learned along the journey.
What I have also learned is that anxiety states are very lonely fearful places to be so I would really welcome anyone , whether well emotionally, psychologically, mentally, or unwell emotionally, psychologically or mentally, to come onto the thread when they can with a hello, a message or a moan about their day, and maybe we will feel better and get better together.
I was given a lovely compliment today, that I have very good social skills, and make others feel better and empathise. I'm not perfect, in fact have had the most tremendous struggle recently, but am starting to feel alive again.
Come and join me in a path to wellness and connection. Life is short, let's beat this anxiety together.

Hi all. I am anxious about one of the children, and it is all consuming at the moment. My mind is racing, my chest feels scared and when I try to switch off, it pops back in. It's related to their hobby and it's ridiculous!
I have been like this about various things before but I really feel I'm making myself ill and driving DH mad

Welcome Christian , anxiety is so restricting, it narrows everything down, but then I find it hard to keep pushing through the anxiety sometimes. Sounds like a good idea to go to the GP maybe he/ she could refer you to the primary mental health team
Welcome Susie , it's so hard when it's about a child, we naturally want to protect them, it's hard to know when to draw the line. is it a risky hobby such as canoeing, karate, archery?

Christina

Placemarking - I will post my story later (baby crying and I don't want to lose the thread!). This is a really good idea OP

Susie - I hope I didn't make you anxious with that comment, apologies if so:) I also get anxious over hobbies.

Susie, I experienced this a while back with a slightly risky hobby. It was all related to other losses, and fear of further loss and a repeat of past events. I hope you are ok now and things have settled down, feel free to post as you feel able, we have all been there feeling in a panic over something and not being able to reassure ourselves , well I know I have.

Morning all. I didn't get chance to let DH read my writing from yesterday, DR wanted to stay up with us and by the time she was ready to go to sleep I was ready too and I didn't want to have him read it and then not have an opportunity to talk about it or ask questions. I thought sleep was more important because when I'm tired the anxiety us much worse. I did however fat the opportunity to say to him that he must keep talking to me, he's also trying to work on a uni assignment while we are on holiday so is reading text books round the pool.
I decided on our after dinner walk I would force a normalcy into the day and I held DH hand rather than being fearful of doing it and no horrible thunderclaps happened or anything. I don't want DH to change to try and protect me. I want to face the fear.
I slept well last night, first time in about 3 weeks that I slept all the way through. I don't know whether my anxiety is related to my hormones? I'm early 40's and possibly perimonopausal, I have the symptoms but the blood tests show otherwise. I find I sleep better once my period has started and I should start with a heavier flow today (apologies if TMI)
I've woken today and graded anxiety is at about a 2 or 3 on a 10 point scale. I've got that quick heart feeling, but nothing else, as though I'm on a simmer.
I can feel the panic curtain has been drawn back a little and I can now see through the net curtains, not a clear picture into my true life, but glimpses of it.
I got through another day yesterday and i can do it today.
Remember all thoughts are in the head and feelings in the body and thoughts make feelings. Anxiety is when the head believes the feelings, a bit like the dog walking the owner.

Susie yes get yourself off to the GP. Anxiety is horrible and I like it to a ball of thread the longer it goes on the more jumbled the thread and it becomes harder to unravel.
Do you mind saying what the hobby is and what you specifically worry about? Would it help if you had the instructor or your child if they are older explain to you why /how what you fear is not as likely to happen by the use of safety equipment etc?

Dr = DD

Does anyone else have the same issues with alcohol that I posted about ^^ ?

Just wondering if I am the only one?

I am so glad you have started this thread. I have been having anxiety and panic attacks on and off for the past 6 months. Before that I had some anxiety about 20 years ago.

At the moment I get anxiety when I feel enclosed e.g. on a plane, hairdresser, dentist and yesterday on the train. The anxiety seems to all be in anticipation and as soon as the train got moving, the plane seatbelt went off I was fine.

Last night I got 1 hours sleep (my anxiety makes me not be able to sleep) because I started to worry about getting on the plane in one weeks time for a trip of a lifetime. This then makes me feel worse as I don't want to ruin my family's trip. I feel terrible today. The GP did prescribe me some propranolol a while ago when I mention the plane, but not sure they are going to work. Funny thing is everyone thinks I am a strong person and I used to love flying. Now I am a shrivelling wreck about next week. Any advice?

nota I don't drink alcohol for other reasons so I can't comment, but alcohol is known to change moods so it easily fits with causing and increase in anxiety.

banyan I can only suggest you talking to those you are flying with so that they are aware of the anxiety. Having anxiety doesn't make you weak, you are still you, but with anxiety.
Could you research and practice some breathing exercises between now and next week to hopefully get you through the flight?

I've been reading a book about relationships because I'm a researcher at heart and it's answered lots of questions and worries I have about my relationship and DH in general and I feel much more positive. Ultimately I know the anxiety is because I'm worried, not because I want to leave him. I have a fear it's lost. This could fit with the anxiety I have of losing my Dad? However from reading the book there are some activities and things that I feel would improve our relationship anyway so a win win today.

I've not had any anxious feelings above a grade 3 today, I'm on high alert as though I'm anticipating an anxiety inducing situation to happen.

How has everyone else's day been? What has helped you today?

Notapants, alcohol affects me too. I have just had a weekend full of guests and milestone birthday parties. I don't drink much but it affects me quite badly. My anxiety this week kicked off after I had a couple of drinks one night, then I woke up in the early hours and couldn't get back to sleep as was anxious and mind racing in middle of night. I couldn't sleep the alcohol off and it just made me feel dreadful and unable to function the next day.

I am seriously thinking about giving up alcohol.The taste of a nice red is nothing compared to the feeling of lifting horrible anxiety feeling.

velma, even though I felt terrible and hung over I did an hours exercise. I also took some Rescue Remedy. I know it is not an anxiety drug but it seems to ease it a bit during the day.

velma, your post is very interesting because a few months ago when I had crippling insomnia which was brought on by anxiety, I felt really worried that I no longer loved my DH and it was going to end. When I began to feel better I could see that this was tosh and I love my DH very much. Someone once said to me that when you are very stressed/ anxious the cracks in your marriage begin to show. That doesn't mean we are going to split up, no marriage is perfect. For me, I think I was looking for an answer as to why I felt anxious, as there isn't a clear reason. I actually think it is menopausal linked in my case. Since I needed a reason, I put it down to not loving DH. Which on a good day I can see is complete rubbish.

Banyan thank you for the reassurance. I know what I'm thinking is nonsense because I have glimmers of my 'normal' loving relationship peek through in the times when the anxiety has abated down.

I ended up crying in the shower this evening. I just want someone to hear me and put an arm round me and tell me I'm going to be ok and the person i want to do that isn't here.

I ended up showing DH my book and he read it and said "I know you can't help it, but stop worrying". He's been giving me the odd smile tonight when he catches me glimpsing at him.
I wish I had a Worsel Gummidge head so I could swap this anxiety head over to the non anxious one.
The cry once again released the pressure again.

How is everyone? I feel a bit better today. I'm still on a bit of an alert in that I don't trust the fact I'm not on high alert.
I've started logging my emotions and anxiety levels alongside the tracking if my cycle on my Clue app to see if I can see a pattern.

I saw a news article which related to my main anxiety at the moment, so it's sent me into a spiral. Trying to focus on my baby but most of my anxiety at the moment is focused on being separated from her in some way so it's not helping

Hi

Hi all. Has anyone had experience of being on long term sick absence from work with anxiety or resigning/ losing your job for/because of it and "performance issues"?

DH said to me tonight "if you don't want to, you will never have to pick up that phone again.." I can't tell you what a weight it was off my shoulders.

I am really struggling and spending my time over thinking, panicking and hyperventilating.
I have worried all my life and had anxiety attacks since I was about 9 or 10, triggered by an abusive experience at school when I was punished for something not my fault. Particularly fixated on work which is a stressful and lonely, high pressured job.

It's day 2 on citralopram after two weeks of building up to an attack (work related) and things were so bad last night I have also been prescribed Valium.

Feeling a bit calmer now.

Sorry, can't offer much support as I am in the eye of the storm but offer some mutual hugs - and thanks that I am not alone xxx

GAD, OCD. It s awful. I hate it.

Fingers crossed (and I'll say this very quietly) I think I'm through this last bout. DD went into kids club this evening so me and DH have eaten out by ourselves. I didnt panic or feel anxious and we had a lovely time, not 100% because I'm still kind of looking over my shoulder wondering where it is going to spring up next and I can't quite believe how differently my mind is working this evening compared to only 36/48 hours ago, where as it's already been written I was in the 'eye of the storm'.
We ordered our food and it took ages to come. When it finally arrived i ate some of the meat but then i had a bit where I wasn't certain that the meat was cooked through enough. We didn't have enough time to send it back, DH immediately told me not to eat it if I didn't want to, where normally he would be all 'it's fine, it looks cooked enough' and I'd feel bad so I'd eat it and then worry for a few days every time my stomach gurgled etc. (One of my anxieties is getting I'll with vomiting and diarrhoea and it was on the list I wrote in my book that DH read).
I know it's better to face the anxieties rather than give into them, but I don't think I can put my head through another session just yet, especially because we are on holiday and I already feel 3 days have been lost due to the last session.
I'm hoping tomorrow is just as good if not better than today.

taxi you sound as though you have a very supportive DH. Take time off if you need to.
I have told my immediate boss that I'm waiting on getting counselling for anxiety and possible depression maybe due to bereavement, without going into too much detail.
He has been very supportive especially when I ask about things a few times so that I'm clear about what im doing.

gamer write down the facts you know, not what you think you know from what you have read. This is an actual method called 'Reporting' from Moodgym.

Hi everyone. So happy to see people posting on the thread. Unfortunately out of the blue, following my session of therapy on Tuesday I slipped into that place of fear and low mood that feels so permanent when you are in it, but actually today am feeling slightly brighter.
It's so uncomfortable to be anxious, and so tiring. I commend everyone on the thread for their courage and reaching out to the rest of us.
I am focusing on self care for the minute , getting outside, eating well, doing some mindfulness techniques.
I'm not giving attention to the spiral of fear.
Sleep well all, I shall post properly tomorrow ❤️

Hello everyone. I would like to join please. Long term OCD sufferer here. My OCD spiralled out of control during my last pregnancy, I've spent years trying various combinations of medications and in and out of hospital.

Currently I'm relatively stable. I've settled on mirtazapine, citalopram and aripiprazole. I still struggle though with periods of high anxiety, although my mood isn't very depressed anymore, which I'm thankful for. I get really anxious and my thoughts are racing at one hundred miles an hour and it feels awful. Also struggle with some OCD compulsions. I'm not allowed any diazepam or similar to calm me down as my psychiatrist "doesn't believe in them". I feel like they would be useful for using during my anxious times. I would only use it a few times a week. Oh well.

I hope everyone is having an ok day today