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Original poster

people telling me Dd needs to be sectioned

196 replies

BananaJam11 · 14/05/2017 17:00

Dd is 15 and I can't say she's a saint but I'm fed up with people telling me she needs to be sectioned.

We've been through and unsuccessful camhs referral and various other unsuccessful referrals.

She refused to talk about how she feels to anyone but I know she's hurting. She self harms,shares posts about suicide.

She's ran out the house at silly hours of the day/night which caused a neighbour to say 'that girl of yours needs to be put in hospital'. She's attacked family members who then tell me she needs to be sectioned. Even friends have said she's 'crazy'.
She has these breakdowns where she will cry,shake,scream,harm herself ,I've tried different gp and speaking to the school who aren't very supportive. I know it's not alright but these people are in no position to tell me my Dd is crazy. It's exhausting for me too.
She needs counselling not a section.

I'm sorry for the long post . I just needed to vent SadBlush

OP posts:
imip · 14/05/2017 19:59

I had to make movies of my dd to be believed.

erinaceus · 14/05/2017 20:01

What works for one does not work for others. For me, the Home Treatment Team did not help. A professional in my area told me that it seems to be roughly 50/50 whether someone finds the HTT helpful or not, which sounds plausible to me. MH hospitals are by and large horrible places and if your DD can be at home with you and both you and her are safe that is likely what will continue to happen.

erinaceus · 14/05/2017 20:02

imip I'm so sorry you went through that.

imip · 14/05/2017 20:04

Honestly, it's not at all unusual for parents of children with as ASD to have to do that. Such a shame...

Original poster
BananaJam11 · 14/05/2017 20:13

imip I'm so sorry you had to do that.

Thank you to those who have shared their personal experiences.

Graphista , I'm sorry you had to go through that. As far as I'm aware there is no bullying going on at school. What stands out to you that she could be abused? I might be missing something.

OP posts:
cherrybath · 14/05/2017 20:17

My daughter has been sectioned several times - it was always a relief to me to know that she was safe and there wouldn't be any scenes at home for a few days. However they always released her at the first opportunity and didn't really seem to do much to help her, for about 20 years. Though she's an adult now (so not really my responsibility in the same way) and not living at home for some years, I can always tell from her messages when she needs help or support.

If your daughter is in immediate danger I can see the point of sectioning her, but otherwise they probably would not do it anyway as there is so much demand for the services they offer.

I've never found the psychiatrists really helped any of us much, they will no longer discuss her with me even if I know she is in difficulty, despite the fact that she has given her permission. They simply can't be bothered. Other mental health professionals in the community are often really wonderful. If my daughter doesn't turn up for her (injected) medication they will find her. There is the added advantage that they have seen it all before and are absolutely unshockable - unlike many friends and acquaintances who find my even admitting that my daughter has mental health problems is unacceptable. Discussing any of it with them is even more unacceptable...

CrohnicallyPregnant · 14/05/2017 20:24

I wanted to second the ASD suggestion- I have Asperger's and have 'self harmed' for as long as I can remember. I was diagnosed with depression as a teen, and went to counselling, but it was hard because they would ask why I hurt myself and I didn't know, I just did it.

When I was diagnosed with ASD (as an adult) the psychiatrist said it was an extreme form of stimming rather than a desire to harm myself. And since my diagnosis I have more or less stopped because I'm much more aware of my triggers and avoiding stress, and appropriate needs have helped too.

erinaceus · 14/05/2017 20:28

BananaJam11

Abuse does not always look like abuse. It can be subtle and difficult to spot. This is where MH professionals are well placed to do what needs to be done right now. If your DD is being abused, or has been in the past, this can be handled when she is in a safe place, literally and metaphorically.

NeopreneMermaid · 14/05/2017 20:29

I've been in a similar way to your DD but was never sectioned. After 20 years of various experimental treatments, I am now finally one her into being well, having found the right balance of meds and talking therapy. Other posters are right in that what works for some people might not work for others.

I spent years being refered from service to service and each time being told that no-one could help me and eventually insisted on seeing a psychiatrist and took my DH with me to help me explain how bad things had got. It sounds like you need to keep pushing too. Shouldn't happen but it does.

I have a very good friend who was sectioned due to depression (risk to himself) and a cousin due to schizophrenia (risk to others) and the process is there for a very good reason when people are in such difficult circumstances. It's not for me or anyone on here to say one way or another whether this is what's right for your daughter but you need to document all the symptoms and incidents and take them to a professional.

If you feel that she, you or anyone else is in immediate danger of harm - or have just been harmed by her - you call 999 and ask for an ambulance.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hid my experience from my parents at the time so I'm glad she's talking to you.

erinaceus · 14/05/2017 20:32

I went through something similar to what your DD is going through at the moment. That I had been in an abusive situation did not emerge until a decade and a half later. I was a child back then. I did not have any way to describe what I was going through when it was happening. Your DD's safety becomes the priority; figuring out why can come in time.

QueenofPentacles · 14/05/2017 20:34

Whether or not she needs 'sectioning' would be decided by a mental health professional.
You are assuming that counselling will help, but actually you need to tell her GP of her disturbed behaviour so that she can be assessed. If she will not co operate with a visit to the GP you will have to involve Social Services.
She will need a clinical psychologist to assess her mental condition and her needs. The whole pint of this is to HELP her regain a normal life.
At the moment she is a very vulnerable adult who is 'at risk'.
One thing i would urge you do right away is to talk to MIND who will advise you and support you.
If your daughter does harm herself or cause violence one immediate approach would be to inform the Police. I know this sounds horrible but it is better than her committing suicide. Good luck and go well x
MIND
www.mind.org.uk/?gclid=CLm_mZuQ8NMCFcy77QodoWQGVw

muffinbluffer · 14/05/2017 20:34

bananaJam more and more evidence is showing that what we call mental illness is actually a result of trauma...trauma, as the above poster said, doesn't have to be completely obvious....It angers me when people put things down to people's mental 'illness' when actually there is more evidence to suggest that these 'illnesses' are an understandable response to a difficult situation...it was suggested by the psychiatrist Judith Herman years ago that borderline personality disorder should be changed to Complex PTSD as it makes sense when viewed in relation to the sufferer's past experiences...

ILoveDolly · 14/05/2017 20:41

Sometimes people in trouble like your Dd can't see what they need or how to make a path through their turmoil. If she can't or won't engage in counselling and talking about her obvious pain then maybe being somewhere where she can be safe, albeit against her will, might be for the best? But only talking about it as an option with MH specialists will prove if it really is necessary.
I hope you all find a way through safely to a happier place.

Gabilan · 14/05/2017 20:43

That's really interesting, Muffin. I think much mental illness is actually mental injury, if that makes sense.

QueenofPentacles · 14/05/2017 20:44

bananaJam
PTSD defintely causes mental health problems.I should know. The route for professional help is the same. The only thing is; if she has been a victim of DV she must see a trained DV counsellor because ordinary ones will apportion some of the responsibility to what, effectively is a victim...
I fDD is self harming she has mental health problems whatever you call it.

QueenofPentacles · 14/05/2017 20:46

PS. Contact MIND

Lottielottie42 · 14/05/2017 20:51

What's been done for your Dd? Is she under camhs now? If so they are hugely under resourced you need to be calling them very often and speaking to duty team. What's she like at school? Does she have friends ? Go out with them ever?

user1468353179 · 14/05/2017 20:54

My sister was sectioned a few years ago. She got intensive care that she wouldn't have got from her GP. She came out after a month and was much better, but not "cured". She's not mad, she just needs help even now. How dare people say your daughter is mad, she's obviously not well. You wouldn't ignore a broken leg, why ignore her obvious medical help needs!

Original poster
BananaJam11 · 14/05/2017 20:55

She's not under camhs or any support service atm. She's got a small circle of friends who are lovely. She gets on with school although some teachers describe her as a bit withdrawn and she doesn't engage with her peers and will do anything to avoid meeting up with her friends now (there hasn't been any fall outs,a few came over today but Dd refused to go out with them).

OP posts:
Lottielottie42 · 14/05/2017 20:55

Was she under camhs? Why is she not?!

Original poster
BananaJam11 · 14/05/2017 20:57

She has assement and she didn't meet their criteria despite me explaining my concerns. Dd is very manipulative and will make people believe she is fine .

OP posts:
Lottielottie42 · 14/05/2017 21:01

That's where you step in , very few teenagers will engage well with services. I would recommend calling duty line for camhs often and possibly refer yourself and Dd to early help who can give you info on support services. It's not right that people are calling her "crazy" 🙄. However your Dd is crying out for support and is a risk to herself and others , as a parent you may need to push hard to get that .

erinaceus · 14/05/2017 21:05

I hope that you are OK OP. You might want to get this moved to the child mental health topic? The talk of trauma and abuse might be distressing for you, and that might not be what is going on for your DD. None of us know.

Original poster
BananaJam11 · 14/05/2017 21:10

Thank you ,I will push x

I'm just a bit overwhelmed,the more I think about it ,the more I think she's been abussd. I've never considered it before but the way she reacts to any physical contact or hugs makes me wonder . I want to talk to her about it and find out what's on her mind before I speak to the gp tomorrow but I don't know how to start the conversation without her exploading .

OP posts:
Lottielottie42 · 14/05/2017 21:17

You don't know that though, yes it's a concern but there are 101 reasons why your Dd could be reacting like this. I wouldn't try and push her, save that for pushing to get her the support she needs. Just let her know how much you love her and that your there if she wants to talk. My DD has been under camhs for 5 years and whilst not perfect they have helped. Symptoms are often the same/very similar for many different mental health conditions and trauma.