people telling me Dd needs to be sectioned

[BananaJam11]

Dd is 15 and I can't say she's a saint but I'm fed up with people telling me she needs to be sectioned.

We've been through and unsuccessful camhs referral and various other unsuccessful referrals.

She refused to talk about how she feels to anyone but I know she's hurting. She self harms,shares posts about suicide.

She's ran out the house at silly hours of the day/night which caused a neighbour to say 'that girl of yours needs to be put in hospital'. She's attacked family members who then tell me she needs to be sectioned. Even friends have said she's 'crazy'.
She has these breakdowns where she will cry,shake,scream,harm herself ,I've tried different gp and speaking to the school who aren't very supportive. I know it's not alright but these people are in no position to tell me my Dd is crazy. It's exhausting for me too.
She needs counselling not a section.

I'm sorry for the long post . I just needed to vent

[erinaceus]

Hi BananaJam11

Yes, it is a shock for you. It is hard to feel or be hated as well. Sending . Look after yourself in all of this. Now that she is on a section 2, certain rights kick in for your DD, including those around aftercare, and if you are her nearest relative then certain rights kick in for you as well. It's a lot to take in though. Your DD will be kept as safe as she can possibly be kept for the moment. Is she still in A&E? Are you? Have you managed to get any rest? Have either of you eaten or drunk anything?

[messofajess]

You brace woman well done! Keep fighting for yourself and your dd. Strong heart x

[BananaJam11]

Thank you. Just left my Dd of at the unit ,is that what you call it ? Was so hard to leave her but the staff have been amazing xx

[Lemonwhacker]

I'm glad she is finally starting to get the help she needs. It's a step in the right direction, now make sure you eat and sleep. I imagine you're exhausted not just physically but emotionally and mentally too.

[BananaJam11]

Thank you ,I'm drained. It feels weird to write but I feel so relieved without Dd here. I'm not walking on egg shells waiting for her to kick off at me or constantly checking up on her when I'm at work because I'm worried she'll act on her suicidal thoughts. I've always looked at sections as a negative thing but it's what Dd needs. Waiting to hear if the section will change to a 3.
Thank you all so much.

[IloveBanff]

Of course you're relieved. It'd be very weird not to. What's the difference between sections 1,2 and 3?

[messofajess]

How was she when you had to leave? Calm or angry with you? I think your relief is coming from finally finally having some help with her so don't feel weird at all. I hope you are cuddled on your couch with a blanket and some nice food. x

[BananaJam11]

She was crying when I left and is quite angry st me .

lloveBanff I'm not too sure on section 1 . Dd was put on section 4 to start with which I believe is an emergency section that can last 72 hours.
Now she's on a 2 (assessment section)which can last 28 days but I'm told it will probably be less.
If they asses further and decide to put her on section 3 then this can last 6 months at a time and Dd can't refuse treatment.

[BananaJam11]

She was crying when I left and is quite angry st me .

lloveBanff I'm not too sure on section 1 . Dd was put on section 4 to start with which I believe is an emergency section that can last 72 hours.
Now she's on a 2 (assessment section)which can last 28 days but I'm told it will probably be less.
If they asses further and decide to put her on section 3 then this can last 6 months at a time and Dd can't refuse treatment.

[Beerwench]

OP

What an awful thing to go through for all of you concerned, but your daughter is safe, you are safe and there's now access to the help and support you both need.

Could I suggest that you take some little things to her (if you're allowed to of course) to show her that you're still there, still love her and want to help her not feel like this? I love horses and my mum bought me some books and mags, chocolate, the pop I love and although a total anti smoker, some cigarettes (not suggesting these things just an example) at the time I wasn't particularly grateful, but every time she came she brought something she knew I would love - even my dog at one point, with permission of course. It did help, honestly as much as I shrugged and ignored her while she was there, I hugged those things to me as tight as I could.
I have been following, and I am thinking of you both.
Look after yourself too, and seek some help if you feel you might need it, you've been through a rollacoaster and need some support too.

[BananaJam11]

Thank you Beerwench. Dd loves horses too,she's a completely different person when she's with her pony. When I see her I'll bring her some horsey mags and pictures. I hope one day she'll look back on this and see it was because I love her and not hate her.

The school have asked if we want the year group to be told why Dd is not in school because rumours have gone round after the incident with her friend. I haven't asked Dd if she'd want them to do that because I'm not too sure myself x

[messofajess]

Hi OP, how are you both coping at the moment? x

[BananaJam11]

Thank you for coming back on the thread and asking Jess x Dd is on a section 3 now and not making much progress. She's been diagnosed with depression and anxiety,in a way I am glad because now she can get the treatment she needs for it. She's showing signs of ptsd so the staff are trying to explore why she feels the way she feels and if something traumatic has happened. Family hasn't been supportive,it's been exhausting for the two of us but we'll get there! X

[Beerwench]

Hi OP,
Well done for hanging in there. I know you say that she's not making much progress, but progress has been made. Your daughter is safe, and they have made a diagnosis and exploring the reasons behind this. It's also given you some time to gather your own thoughts and feelings. You say your family aren't helpful, is there anyone you can offload to? I think part of my mum's difficulty in dealing with my issues were that she couldn't unload herself to anyone.
to you and dd. You're an amazing mum x

[erinaceus]

Agree with Beerwench about progress having been made, and that having someone to offload to might help you. Take this time when you know that she is in a safe place to practise self-care on yourself. If you need to offload, I find the Samaritans great, or you could access counselling via the NHS, your employer, or privately. A trusted and non-judgemental friend could work too. to you.

[Beerwench]

Hi OP, how are things?

[Beerwench]

Hi OP, how are things?

[BananaJam11]

Dd is on medication and has started to actually talk in her therapy sessions. Before this she just refused to engage. DDs school have been great support,even for myself so I'm sure once she's well and back to school she will get on just fine. Dd has earned herself home leave for the weekend . I hope her being at home doesn't make her move a step back x

Thank you so much to you all.

[messofajess]

Banana that is such lovely news I'm so so glad. Moving a step back is not the end of the world - you must remember that 3 steps forward 2 steps back is still progress :)

[BananaJam11]

Thank you Jess . I'll have to remember that. Any progress is good. Even if we have to take a step back x

[Beerwench]

I'm so glad you've had some positive news OP. It might be a bit disorienting for her at home but you sound so wonderfully supportive, have a good weekend together, fabulous news

[erinaceus]

Sounds positive BananaJam11. It is great that your DD's school are supportive. She will not be the first student to have been in this situation. My school told me that there were 1 to 2 per year group IIRC, and this was some years ago.

I hope that you have a lovely weekend. If things go pear-shaped, you can always end the leave early. You are an incredibly strong parent to support your DD in the way that you are doing.

[imip]

This is really encouraging banana. Great to see that she is engaging! Do they have any thoughts as to why she's struggling (sorry, I don't mean to pry, ferl free not to say).

[BananaJam11]

Thank you . I can't believe how fast we've gone from chaos at home to Dd getting help and how the school have suddenly become supportive . I'm looking forwards to having her home . Have a nice calm weekend planned . Her and the others she's met at the unit are raising money for charity so we're going to spend the day indoors replacing and planning then go out for a meal.

They think she's gone through something traumatic and that she's displaying signs of PTSD and a personality disorder which explains te depression and anxiety. Slowly going through the past with the staff and myself to work out what could've happened

[erinaceus]

Hi BananaJam11

Yes, things to move fast. One shit thing about it all is that the patient and their family kind of have to go through the crisis (in your case calling the police on your DD) in order to access the help that they need.

Even if you don't have all of the answers to the causal factors now, or work out what happened, now, one of the helpful things about knowing that she is showing signs of PTSD and PD traits (so, so similar to me) is that now you can learn some tools for how to deal with those things. When you are ready I have some links to resources which I find helpful for understanding and dealing with what it feels like to have these kinds of symptoms.