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Original poster

Help! Breakdown, homelessness teen daughter.

298 replies

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 19:15

I am experiencing another breakdown. I have called crisis team and they are seeing me tomorrow can't see me earlier.

I'm scared. I may be going into hospital which I haven't before. I don't know what this entails.

My daughter has nowhere to go she is 16. We are a tight unit and have been let down by almost everyone else. Her father hasn't seen her in 5 years. But I suspect that's what everyone will tell us to do. He lives hundreds of miles away so it would mean her leaving school and friends and all she knows and me and I am scared he will turn her against me and I'll never see her again, never have the relationship with her I have now which frankly is the only good thing in my life.

She is an amazing person and doesn't deserve to have to deal with any of this.

I can't stop crying, shaking, can barely breathe.

Can anyone tell me what hospital is like (for mh reasons) what would I be allowed to take in/not allowed as I cannot be without my phone as I cannot be out of touch with my girl.

Can anyone please advise or help? I'm drowning here

OP posts:
Gallavich · 19/04/2017 16:47

Stressed - I can't work out how you have gone from having a flat with work being done to being homeless in a few days. Even if you have made an agreement with the landlord that you can break the tenancy early that doesn't make you homeless or eligible for housing support.
I'm sorry - but feeling too mentally unwell to return to your home doesn't mean you're entitled to homelessness support. You need to get treatment for the mental health issue that stops you going back to the flat to sort it out and when you are wel enough you have to go back.
I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear but that's the law.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 16:55

Gallavich actually it's not the law. I have spoke to shelter.

I am not voluntarily homeless as I left due to a medical condition and that medical condition meant that if I had stayed I would have become much more ill.

Help! Breakdown, homelessness teen daughter.
OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:14

From shelter site

"The council should provide you with somewhere to stay while it looks into your situation, and you should be able to move into this temporary accommodation immediately When the council has finished its inquiries, it should send you a letter explaining what kind of help you are entitled to and why."

"If you have nowhere to stay, your local council has to provide you with somewhere to stay while they investigate whether they have a duty to offer you permanent accommodation. To be offered temporary accommodation you have to make a homeless application to the council."

This guy is already investigating if the council has a duty to get us accommodation before trying to get us temporary accommodation.

"Although the council has a duty to provide you with temporary accommodation, you will sometimes be told that there is none available. If this happens, contact an adviser, who will ensure you receive the accommodation you are legally entitled to." I've contacted an advisor who has said they have a duty to find temporary accommodation through agreeable private landlords or holiday accommodation (eg b&b)

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:15

In fact before even organising for me to make a homeless application which I'm told he should have done when I first spoke to him on Tuesday.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:24

I called and spoke to community mental health team again and explained what was happening with homeless team.

They said they would go and speak to the homeless team.

Then a short while later he called back. Apologetic tone of voice. 'I misunderstood'. Says he is going to source accommodation, and get back to me. That it is the case that there are 28 days to investigate if we are legally homeless and that we are supposed to be provided with temporary accommodation in that time.

OP posts:
randomuntrainedcuntowner · 19/04/2017 17:29

Unless it is to protect you e.g. Excessive spending/gambling on websites, posting stuff to social media while you are very unwell that could cause you embarrassment/problems in future, they will not take your phone off you. They always go for the least restrictive option to keep you and others safe.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:31

Randomluntrained thanks for the reply. Things have moved on a bit for now but worth knowing in case I am hospitalised in the future. Not ruling it out.

OP posts:
randomuntrainedcuntowner · 19/04/2017 17:31

At 16 she is a child so social services will not let her live on her own. To avoid her going into temporary foster care I really would reach out to someone you can trust and see if she can stay there. Wouldn't you do that if you had a physical health problem that means you have to be hospitalised?

Gallavich · 19/04/2017 17:32

Stressed - you need solid medical evidence to come under that bit of housing law. You don't have that at the moment.

CotswoldStrife · 19/04/2017 17:36

Are you in Scotland (going by your screenshot) as the rules may be different there?

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:45

Nobody can take me or daughter in.

Gallavich - you mean like Drs records? Psychiatric assessment? Community mental health team records? Crisis team records? Is that not solid evidence?

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:45

Yes in Scotland.

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NolongerAnxiousCarer · 19/04/2017 17:45

Hi V, sorry you are having such a stressful time of things and that they are being obstructive. Sounds like you are finally getting somewhere.

DHs most recent homelessness situation was similar in that he felt there was no option but to give up our home due to his MH (he thought if he stayed there he would be killed, I was away at the time and didn't find out until it was too late) Initially he was literally turned back onto the street by the council. Things changed significantly once his CPN got involved. I think PPs just don't understand, with mental illness, how your thinking proccesses can be affected. I get that for you remaining in your previous tenancy wasn't an option, therefore becoming homeless was not a choice.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 17:47

Nolonger - thank you. You get it! I could not stay or go back there I would feel very very unsafe and it would lead to me becoming extremely ill. Nobody seems to be getting that. Apart from a couple of the people in the mental health team. It's worrying that even mental health workers aren't getting it.

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NolongerAnxiousCarer · 19/04/2017 17:57

We are in England, and the rules regarding housing and mental illness sound similar, but the housing office will often tell people they don't qualify for help initially. It means you end up having to fight, and evidence everything, when you are at your most vulnerable. Being in a mental health crisis puts people into the vulnerable adult category. In an ideal world MH services would step in before the crisis left people homeless and support them to stay in their accommodation. Unfortunately as OP and my DH and I have both experienced, the crisis often has to escalate before MH teams prioritise people for support. OP has been asking for help to avoid this situation for months.

NolongerAnxiousCarer · 19/04/2017 18:09

Well thank goodness for those couple of people in the MH team, I hope they will help you fight your corner. Unfortunately I get it due to my experiences with DH when he is ill. I know that there are certain things that seem reasonable and logical to me, that he won't be able to cope with. And once fight or flight kicks in its very difficult to reason through things in the way you would if you are well because the logical part of your brain switches off and your decisions are based only on survival instincts.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 18:19

Exactly it's a gut thing. One part of my brain kinda remembers what other people see as logical and ok but mostly it screams at me 'get out danger get out danger' and I can't switch that off ever. I wish I could. Even at my most well it's like the volume is down on that voice but it's still there. And at the moment I'm the most ill I've been.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 20/04/2017 14:37

No calls from anyone as yet.

Called mental health team and have been told someone will call but then I was told someone would call this morning.

No call from guy at homeless team.

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 20/04/2017 15:09

Called homeless team says he has sent an email to person who's job it is to find accommodation but hasn't heard back yet. Doesn't seem to think there's any urgency.

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Floggingmolly · 20/04/2017 15:23

Maybe they don't think there's any urgency.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 20/04/2017 15:29

Yea that's what's worrying me they don't think it's urgent but it is. Ok we're not on the streets but still...

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Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 20/04/2017 15:30

And anyway I was more meaning his manner it's like he was being really laid back?

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NolongerAnxiousCarer · 20/04/2017 16:39

I would keep chasing V make sure your case is at the front of their minds. Hope you hear something soon.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 20/04/2017 17:09

Yea it seems to be the way. I'm always worried about alienating them though/being annoying

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 20/04/2017 17:58

From my experience working in healthcare those that shout loudest get the most attention. Its one of the things that annoys me because not everyone is able or wants to make a fuss, but it does seem to be the case.