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Original poster

Help! Breakdown, homelessness teen daughter.

298 replies

Vstressedtenant · 13/04/2017 19:15

I am experiencing another breakdown. I have called crisis team and they are seeing me tomorrow can't see me earlier.

I'm scared. I may be going into hospital which I haven't before. I don't know what this entails.

My daughter has nowhere to go she is 16. We are a tight unit and have been let down by almost everyone else. Her father hasn't seen her in 5 years. But I suspect that's what everyone will tell us to do. He lives hundreds of miles away so it would mean her leaving school and friends and all she knows and me and I am scared he will turn her against me and I'll never see her again, never have the relationship with her I have now which frankly is the only good thing in my life.

She is an amazing person and doesn't deserve to have to deal with any of this.

I can't stop crying, shaking, can barely breathe.

Can anyone tell me what hospital is like (for mh reasons) what would I be allowed to take in/not allowed as I cannot be without my phone as I cannot be out of touch with my girl.

Can anyone please advise or help? I'm drowning here

OP posts:
Adarajames · 18/04/2017 01:30

Oh dear op, that's a shame, makes everything harder! Wishing you calm and strength and a very helpful assertive support for the morning and some much needed rest tonight x

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 01:33

Thank you both. Ironically watching perception as a way to hopefully wind down before getting hopefully at least a little sleep.

OP posts:
Jellybean85 · 18/04/2017 07:17

Good luck today op, you've found the strength and got through the weekend!
Hope you can channel that strength today Flowers

UnbornMortificado · 18/04/2017 08:22

V just to echo PP's MH does class you as a higher priority.

Good Luck today 🍀Flowers

JustMyLuckUnfortunately · 18/04/2017 08:47

Good luck for today Flowers🍀

NolongerAnxiousCarer · 18/04/2017 08:55

I'm working today so won't be arround but will be thinking of you. Take it one step at a time. If it helps write a list and work through it one step at a time. Flowers

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 14:10

Very very anxious again.

Can't get hold of mum. Called mental health team was supposed to have had a call from them.

Spoke to possibly the worst organised person in the team. She didn't read the notes properly at first, tried to tell me what I was saying was wrong. Then was all 'oh I see some more notes' in other words she couldn't be bothered reading properly.

Yet again 'homelessness isn't our remit' now she's saying there are NO managers in the building. Which I find hard to believe. Has taken my no and said she's gonna check some stuff and call me back.

Sick of repeating myself and thinking they have such poor communication protocols and connections with other agencies etc so so frustrating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 14:22

Sorry meant to say thanks for the ongoing support it is appreciated

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 14:23

Mum called but wasn't able to help much. But as that tied up phone I called mental health offices again and discovered there IS a manager there were on another call and they're going to call me back.

OP posts:
UnbornMortificado · 18/04/2017 16:00

Hopefully this call back will get you somewhere Flowers

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 16:20

They've had homeless team call me who seem to be of the view that mental illness does not qualify as a health issue. Being a bit obstructive, not sure if they have any properties etc.

Feel absolutely screwed and unsupported.

Guy kept saying it needs to be assessed if I am homeless, if it was intentional/my fault - that's even though he was first contacted on my behalf by mental health team.

Not even getting an assigned mental health worker until tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 17:09

Homelessness team person calling back tomorrow morning. Took some details.

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 18/04/2017 17:21

www.rethink.org/living-with-mental-illness/housing/housing-options/homelessness

Sorry to hear you have had such a stressful day, sounds like people either don't know what they should be doing, or are trying to get out of it. Well done for pushing to speak to a manager. The link above to the rethink website explains about your mental illness meaning that you are a vulnerable adult and therefore should be a priority for housing in suitable accommodation for your mental illness. It also explains that your care coordinator from the mental health team needs to be looking at your housing as part of your care plan. Hope thay helps.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 17:28

It does thanks! I've been looking everywhere for something like that.

Tried calling shelter but as I've been calling and waiting on calls back from people I needed to speak to before I could call then they're now closed. I've set a reminder on my phone to call them 9am tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 17:36

Oh boy that link is a rabbit hole! I'm finding out I should have had stuff and people helping me that I've not even heard of/been told about!

I've double checked with my region too in case that only applied to certain areas

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 18/04/2017 18:55

Really hope some of the people on that list prove a real help. FFS. No wonder some people with MH issues go under. Where is the support for you? Completely unreasonable. So sorry OP. You are being so strong. You really are.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 18/04/2017 19:31

Don't feel strong, maybe look calm and strong on outside, inside a jelly haa more substance!

Having something to eat. appetite poor but I get told off if I don't eat. So I distract myself and take small mouthfuls

OP posts:
NolongerAnxiousCarer · 18/04/2017 19:58

Really glad the link helped. I happened to find out some stuff to help me too, whilst I was there.

You really are doing so well. Small steps one at a time. Eating sounds like a good plan and now that all the services are shut again its the time to cuddle up with DD and get a film or something on.

Wolfiefan · 18/04/2017 20:00

You may feel like a bowl of jelly on the inside but I see someone putting their daughter and need to get better first. That's strength.

Graphista · 18/04/2017 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wolfiefan · 18/04/2017 20:43

You haven't crawled quietly into a corner and let your daughter's life be controlled by anyone else. You are looking for the best way out.
You should be proud of yourself. Flowers

Graphista · 18/04/2017 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 13:12

Weirdly (for me) I fell asleep relatively early last night (around ten) and not long awake.

Expected phone call from homeless team person mid-morning hasn't yet come and I can't decide if to call him. On the one hand if I don't call it looks like things aren't urgent, on the other hand will he think I am pestering if I do call?

Also no call as yet today from mental health team regarding a new cpn - same dilemma really.

What do I do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Vstressedtenant · 19/04/2017 16:27

Guy from homeless team refusing to help. Not even meeting legal obligations I've been advised of by shelter.

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 19/04/2017 16:40

Have you made yourself voluntarily homeless, op? Are you even technically homeless at all, when you have a tenancy you just won't return to?