I am alone and scared witless.

[DumbledoresGirl]

I know there is nothing anyone can do, except me perhaps, but I just feel the need to let you know that dh left for his 2 week business trip this morning, and so here I am, scared silly, crying whenever I stop for five seconds to think of my situation, and having panic attacks every time I think how long 2 weeks is.

I don't even know if I will spend every waking moment on MN or bury myself away in a hole, but in case I am here, I wanted you to know this is the state I am in right now. Please forgive anything I might say in the next 2 weeks. I am so wrapped up in myself, I don't know what I am doing half the time.

If you need to know why I am in this state, there was a thread in "feeling depressed" last week explaining.

Hope you have a good long sleep - are you halfway through tomorrow or Sunday?

DDG, haven't been on Mn for a few days but just wanted to say well done to you for getting throught he first week!

Morning DG
Havent been on for a couple of days.

Hope your doing ok.
LL, idea is great! Its a lovely day today.

One week down!!!!

Morning sweet pea

Hope you have a lovely saturday.

x

Hello everyone. Yes it is sunny here but the children bought some Pokemon videos at a school sale yesterday and have been glued in front of them ever since! How many times can they watch them I wonder?

Nearly halfway there. In answer to your question stleger, the halfway mark is halfway through this coming night. This weekend has been a huge barrier looming in front of me all week. With it there, it has been impossible to see down to the end of the road, but now that I am here, I am beginning to feel, well, not that I am nearing the end, but to quote Churchill if I may (pompous or what?! ): "This is not the end, it is not even the beginning of the end. It is perhaps the end of the beginning." (sorry, fanatical historian here will now shut up!)

I am feeling a bit better physically today too which is good as I hit a very low patch yesterday morning when I was feeling so sick. Hopefully, we will all continue to be well. That is all I want.

Oh and hello BB (if you ever managed to read this far!) This is the diary of an emetophobe who cannot be left to care for her own children alone.

DDG - this is my history here which is why I thought we were simliar intially.

DT, your experience has made you stronger as a person and a mother. I did not feel the same as you - I did not have PND with any of mine and have always be very confident of my ability to go out and get exactly what I want - ie 4 children, even though dh wanted to stop at 3! - but I think we all relate to some extent to that feeling that we might one day die or our children might die and our happiness will be shattered. I think it is perversely a sign of how happy we are.

Good morning - nearly midday!

how has the day been?

good morning honey - half the weekend done!

Good morning. half way through the whole torture now. I suppose that is going to help from now on, knowing I have less time to go than I have endured.

Just feeling a bit sad for some others here suffering bereavement.

No Pokemon saved me day yesterday as the older ones spent all day playing Pokemon games with their cards.

Just don't want to appear completely insane BB! I have already "come out" today as someone who never gets her hair cut or buys new clothes and have refused cod's command to go to a hairdresser, so i didn't want to draw attention to myself as someone who also can't face being alone without dh! in fact, I should scuttle off to bed now. Speak again tomorrow maybe?

Hey DD,

My DP went sking last weekend for a week - our first holiday apart for 13 years and the longest I've been with the kids on my own.....we had moved house the week before and I've had no internet access all week....anyway here's what happened just to show that you can survive!!!

My sister had a scan which revealed that her baby is really poorly so I had to sort out flying her DP back from the ski trip....my nan died....my radiator burst in the kitchen...my cousin was diagnosed with cancer and finally I hurt my back and couldn't pick anything (including DD2) up off the floor!

I tell you what -I was really glad to pick him up from the airport!!

Soooo....be strong - you'll get by!!

Weekend over! It goes slower when you are on your own, doesn't it. I hate hairdressers too, but am in dire need of one, prefer dentist... I got my dh back, he goes off again middle of next week, but no long trip until August. Are you ready for Monday morning?

Hi DG, glad you made it through the weekend.
DH just left for Moscow so with you in spirit! I'm irregular on here as I don't have broadband but I might see you on in the stilly watches of the night...

Hello there! It's Monday!

"It's the Final Countdown"...

Hope you had a good night... you're getting there!