Is anyone up? Feel so down

[Thecatgotmytongue]

Just that really .. I've been struggling with depression for ages. Tonight it's bad .. After a few ok days, it just hit me tonight for no real reason. I'm sat on the sofa crying. My boyfriend went home two hours ago and has gone to bed, I've no one to talk to.

Hope you've got through the day okay, cat?

I haven't napped, and have avoided caffeine so I'm hopeful I'll sleep.

If I don't, I'll check in.

Hope you're survived bath time okay, OhThat.

Hi both

I got through the day thanks, although very tired. I took dd into town to buy a birthday present for her friend. We had coffee and a sandwich in town and window shopped, which was nice.

Hopefully I'm tired enough to sleep tonight, but I'll check in if not.

Hey Sommer, hear hear to some sleep. I've got an appointment at 9am so need to not look like a deranged bag lady. Bath time is always fun (ahem a fight).

Hopefully NN from me and to all the insomniacs out there.

Cat I hope you are peacefully asleep right now!

I'm not asleep now, watching gbbo on catch up and waiting for bf. Dd picks up her gcse results tomorrow - she only did a few parts of some subjects and can retake them if needs be.

Night night all

Big day then.

Hope that the results are what she's expecting, and that she deals with any need for retakes with equanimity.

My DD1 is about to start GCSE's and she's already arranged a new filing system for her notes.

I'll be shitting it in two years time (hidden behind smile), and she'll be calm.

Slainte

(Cheers)

God mine are only 3 and 4, I've got all this to come. I was wound up enough getting a primary school place. Ye gods, my life is easy!

Good luck with the results xx

P.S. I had to retake maths and aced it. Actually I did rubbish at school but scraped into University and found a subject I loved (not maths funnily enough).

Still up here, too hot to sleep and the kids complain about the noise if I put the AC on.

GBBO sounds good, with the risk of outing myself it was filmed just across the road from me in 2013, I could watch it live

NN all

Ignore that, it was for another thread xx

Hope you both slept last night.

I slept but it was late when I went to bed and I didn't sleep enough. Still feeling really down.

Hi Cat, I've had a stressful day. Not much sleep last night. But something legal I can't discuss here went in my favour today, so I'm hanging onto that for good vibes.

Is there anything you can do for distraction. Box sets, cleaning, gardening? I know it's hard when you're feeling broken but some time outdoors might help?

God it's shit isn't it? Let's just have a moan eh?

The incessant rain doesn't help! It's miserable out.

I'm probably get on with cleaning again, then maybe watch something funny.

I need to drag myself into the shower first.

Here's my moan.

Went to bed early, got a bit of sleep - woken up (and freaked out) by my boyfriend letting himself in (he doesn't live here) - driven up after working late to surprise me and keep me company. And then of course I couldn't get back to sleep.
Nice thought, poor execution.

What a nice thought .. But bad timing, agree.

Police on my doorstep at 8am, luckily I'd showered at 6am. Thanks insomnia, I looked clean, tidy and most of all quite sane indeed. And hey, they perpetrator got knocked out of bed at 8:30am looking like a tramp and ranting like an idiot. One up for me today

Somer nice thought, bad move. I guess he's forgiven for that. He sounds sweet.

It's red hot here, I'm sweating without moving. Can we swap weather. It would be great if we could just magically swap every few hours? I have AC but it's old and noisy, and not exactly sleep inducing.

I'm going to have sandwich and a doughnut for lunch now, I'm worth it!

The police stuff sounds stressful, Ohthat.

Managed a shower, cat?

He is sweet. But he was shattered and fell asleep quickly, and, having had a bit already, I then couldn't get back to sleep. I got up feeling a bit resentful but it was nice when I returned to bed to have someone to snuggle.

That's not great! Hopefully nothing serious?

Whereabouts are you Ohthat? It was nice here yesterday, but today it's grey and wet. I don't think it's forecast to last all day though. I find it does affect my mood if I'm sensitive anyway.

Mmm doughnuts .... what a great idea!

London

It's not as hot as yesterday but still boiling. My house is terraced and holds heat. It's currently 28 degrees with the crap AC on. I need to buy a new system (dreaming).

Basically I've been threatened and am scared to leave my house. I have little kids. DH has had to stay off work as if he's home they stay away from us. Think wife beating, child neglect types - nasty, horrible people. Police were fab though, believed me and said after what they'd seen I'd not even need a witness as they'd seen enough. Can't say much more as it may go to court.

Two chocolate doughnuts have helped immensely (for my mood, unfortunately not my fat backside).

BF turning up at night, I think I'd be winding myself up. I have my 'sleep with me' podcast and it's like a really boring friend telling a rambling bedtime story. It's fab. Next time maybe try it?

I've got a mouthful of ulcers, chewed finger nails and a new job starting on Tuesday. Love a bit of stress and depression me, I'm actually feeling ok as I feel I'm getting somewhere. Not with sleep but with life, and this whole police trouble has brought me and DH together which is good.

If I could only bloody sleep!!! God let me sleep please. If all fails tonight I'm hitting the diazepam at 8pm.

It's just good to know I'm not alone. Thanks ladies, you've kept me sane these past few nights

That's awful Ohthat, hope the police sort things out.

Sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment! Good luck with the new job.

I'd love to hit the doughnuts right now, but am so unhappy about my weight and figure, I would just feel worse afterwards

I'm heading to the local shop now though, may plump for raspberries instead

Bless you, and likewise ... it was good to have someone to talk to who understands. I felt so lonely the other night.

Rubbish rubbish day again It's pouring down outside. I thought I was doing well, I managed to get out for a walk. Baked a cake and cooked a casserole. But bf doesn't feel well so doesn't want to eat. Dd is veggie, so still need to cook her food

Well done on the walk.

Do you have a freezer? If so, freeze some of the casserole when it cools, to give you a day off from cooking another day.

Or chuck it in my direction, so I don't have to cook again. So bored of my children being hungry. And ds at rugby training earlier, so he's already cleared out the fruit bowl and all the bread, and I have a huge pile of muddy kit to somehow get washed and dried by the morning.

Yes, I'll put some in the freezer.

Don't envy you the muddy kit .. I remember when my eldest played hockey at school! Thankfully ydd isn't into sport much, prefers badminton and table tennis.

Feel so miserable today

Can I add some happiness tonight?

Eviction notice was served on horrible people today. They have a week to leave. Which is great but fear for wives and children. These people move as soon as they are caught up with. Just disappear to another borough.

I'll still not sleeping but it's one less thing on the list of doom. Once I'm back at work I'll be more focused. It's a repeat contract so no nerves, I know the team and they asked for me to come back as they couldn't cope without me (yay go me!). Doing what my counsellor says and giving myself a pat on the back. Doesn't feel right though, I'm not into self affirmation.

In other news I cooked dinner and the just turned 3 year old threw it on the dog and the four year old pronounced it disgusting and put it in the bin :( Why bloody bother?

And I've be got about six loads of 3 year olds stinking toilet training clothes to sort out. From just two days!

I need to be able to rumble dry at night. Don't fancy going out to the washing line and dealing with spiders!