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Original poster

If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

535 replies

SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 04:43

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

OP posts:
Thisismyalias · 02/04/2016 12:56

Oh sweetheart, your anxiety is screaming through these posts.

You need to get your dh back and speak to someone/anyone from 111, out of hours GP, or the chrisis team.

It sounds as though you are overwhelmed with the thoughts of chicken pox and dying. And your anxiety is going to the worst case senario.

Please don't resign to the worst case, get some help to realise that you are not thinking right.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/04/2016 12:57

Have you phoned your DH yet?

Wineisfinebyme · 02/04/2016 12:58

Eliza, I have sent you a PM.

You are going to be fine, but keep talking to us.

Where are you? Could one of us give you a ring?

LittleMamaJama · 02/04/2016 12:58

I think it's very difficult for us who are concerned about this lady because we have no idea where she lives.
Some one needs to go around and make sure she's OK- I really fear for the children.Sad

MNHQ
IonaMumsnet · 02/04/2016 13:00

Hi again Eliza. We're going to move this thread over to our Mental Health board in a moment, where we think you will find lots more support and advice. Again though, we would advise you to seek real life help. Mumsnetters are wonderful and have lots of sound advice to give but there's no replacement for RL support.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:02

My children are fine! Honestly! I'm not going to harm my children, it would never even enter my head. Nor would I do anything to myself whilst they were in my care! Ever. Everything I do I do for them.

OP posts:
FarrowandBallAche · 02/04/2016 13:03

But killing yourself WOULD harm them.

Wineisfinebyme · 02/04/2016 13:03

Well that's great. You're obviously a really good mum.

Can you give your husband a ring though? You're obviously anxious, and that's no good for you and little ones.

MrsJayy · 02/04/2016 13:07

When is their dad due home ?

VoldysGoneMouldy · 02/04/2016 13:07

Eliza I know these thought processes seem real, and cold, and logical. But they are none of those things. You can get past them, and you can get better, but right now what you need to do is seek some help.

You need to call your husband, or, as someone on here has said, send another poster his phone number, or the name of the golf course and his name, and someone can get hold of him for you.

You need to get someone else to your house now.

And you need to get help for your mental health. With what you've been posting, I would suggest A&E would be the most sensible route as you sound like you are at real risk of harm. If you can't stand doing that, then please call 111 and ask for some advice.

You say you adore your children, and everything you do is for them. Then do this for them, if you can't do it for yourself.

Ohb0llocks · 02/04/2016 13:07

You sound exactly like me when I was suffering from anxiety (still do to a certain extent but nowhere near as bad), was awful after DS was born. Took him to a&e in the middle of the night when he was 4 days old because of repeated vomiting, sobbing convinced he had something seriously wrong. Turns out he was guzzling too much and a touch of reflux!

Please seek help. Medication, cbt, it will change your life. And if you don't do it for yourself do it for your children.

Chances are you wont get chickenpox, and if you do, it might be a case of a few spots. DS got it (I think) whilst he had tonsillitis, and after a week or so he was brand new.

You and DD are going to be ok, but please lean on us. You need support and its here in abundance.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:07

About 6. He will go and see mil first. We are out now anyway

OP posts:
MrsKCastle · 02/04/2016 13:09

Eliza, please do call your husband. I'm sure if he knew you were feeling like this, he'd want to be with you. Everything feels better when you have someone to share it with.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:10

No he doesn't get it at all

OP posts:
GinAndColonic · 02/04/2016 13:11

Out and about, have you got a nice day planned? Why don't you take the kids to your MILs if he is going to be there too?

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:11

He's away most of April anyway on business so I will be managing the fallout from this on my own

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:11

I've taken the children to the park

OP posts:
GinAndColonic · 02/04/2016 13:12

Sure she'd like to see the grandkids as well as her son?

MrsJayy · 02/04/2016 13:12

Have you taken the children out for a bit ?

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:12

She will see them tomorrow. Dh takes them every Sunday

OP posts:
Wineisfinebyme · 02/04/2016 13:12

Sweetheart, there won't be fallout. You're little ones will be fine

I bet your husband would absolutely care if you showed him this thread

GinAndColonic · 02/04/2016 13:14

I've not gone to the park today, I live in North England and it's too wet! Dog is judging me for it though I think he wants a run around.

Why don't you call your MIL see if she fancies a visit? Grab a big box of chocolates on the way keep the kids busy too, give them a treat.

How old is your baby?

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:15

He has no clue. None. He won't be any help in the eventuality of us all being ill. I've been trying to get everything sorted out in the house food and laundry wise because I'll be managing on my own most of the time.

I'm so cross with my friend. She knew it was going through nursery and they'd sent her dd home twice this week as she'd been out of sorts and they thought she was coming down with it. Why would you not mention that to someone with a newish prem baby?!

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 13:16

Dd is 14 weeks
It is sunny here

OP posts:
GinAndColonic · 02/04/2016 13:17

Aww, she is 14 weeks but she was prem? She sounds so precious. Glad the sun is shining for you.

Im going to my Mums house this afternoon and she loves spoiling the kids. Especially with TV!