If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

[SweetElizaRose]

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

Eliza - this is your anxiety speaking. You are doing a great job as a mum.

Are you still refusing to take the medication you were prescribed for your anxiety? I know your DH said he didn't want you to take it whilst you're bf but quite honestly your health is more important that what he thinks.

I had the misfortune to Dr Google some meds I was recently prescribed - the list of adverse effects was so long (including heart attack and stroke) and a forum I found was so scathing that i scared myself silly and very nearly didn't take it. I googled the same drug on Mumsnet and got feedback which was much more re-assuring, from people who didn't claim to have been poisoned after only one dose, so started on the meds a month ago. Result is condition greatly improved and only side effect was more energy and sleeping better than I had for ages.

Your dd is doing great. Now time to look after yourself.

SweetElizaRose Please call your husband; he needs to come home. You need to be supported by people this weekend and get help ASAP. There is another side to this, I promise. There is more to life than the thoughts that are taking over. I'm not sure what out of hours is like in your area but I do think you need to be seen by a doctor today.

Op, the only issue here is that your anxiety is taking over your life. It will continue to do that, and will affect your children too unless you get help with it. You are not as able to see this so well because you are unwell.

I echo what everyone else is saying about your anxiety. Having said that, did you know there is a vaccine? Why not get it? I do think though that you will probably worry about something else instead - you need to address your anxiety really.

I can't have the vaccine as it is live and so I could spread it to dd. I've asked and they won't give it at the moment. I thought the risk of transmission from the jab was very low but the two clinics I've spoken to said they wouldn't give it.

So at best I'm going to be very unwell and at worst dd and I will die

I could kick myself for going what an idiot I am.
When ds goes back to school I'm not planning on going out again. That's it for us.

For the sake of your children I think you need to go to A&E.

Can you phone the golf course and your husband's mobil. Get him to come back and support you quickly.

How old is your baby?

Why would your baby die chicken pox is a usual childhood illness its not pleasant but babies get chicken pox even little ones and recover fine would you not be better taking the baby to the Dr than sitting waiting at home tell the Dr how ill she might get

Oh dear me Eliza your anxiety really is getting out of control here. Are you on any medication for it? Chicken pox isn't the issue here...look at how many posters are reassuring you about it...its your anxiety. You aren't thinking rationally at the minute. Please will you seek some help? For the anxiety, not the chicken pox.

You sound like a lovely, caring mum. Your children can't be kept indoors forever because you're scared of the outside world. You need to seek help for their sakes as well as your own.

Please phone and get help. If you were near me I would drive you to Aand E and get you an emergency psychiatric evaluation.

With regards to Chicken Pox: I had it as an adult (whilst pregnant so lowered immunity) and it was miserable but mild and my baby was fine too.
My DHs mother did die of chicken pox. But that was back in the 60s 70s - since then they have anti-viral drugs and all kinds of medical procedures which can counteract the complications of Chicken Pox. I have a friend whose son was hospitalised with the complications but now a few years later he is perfectly okay.

But your postings are extremely worrying and you need to contact someone immediately. If no-one else contact the Samaritans, you can do this by email and enclose this thread.

I don't want to be hospitalised though!

To be honest if I get it I might just take matters into my own hands rather than suffer first.

Eliza a friend's one year old came out in the pox a day after play group. It's now been a month and not one single child has become ill with it, including the little boy she was "kissing" whilst highly infectious. The kids range in age from 6 months to 2 years and they are all completely healthy.

PLEASE take yourself to A&E.

Does that mean kill yourself or kill both of you?

You're already under the perinatal MH team. For God's sake please get off the bloody Internet and call them.

Why dont you want to be hospitalised

Please go to a&e now. As others have said take this thread and show them. It will let them understand your worries both about chicken pox and and your anxieties. I hope you get the help you need before taking anything into your own hands!!

Only myself. I'd never harm my children. I adore them

Eliza I am scared you may harm yourself and your DD. Please please seek help right now.

Oh no sweetheart, going to A&E won't get you hospitalised. Hospitals are full haven't you heard

I hope it means that you can be put in touch with a crisis team who can help you and your kids with urgency. Maybe medication, maybe someone to talk to. A Health Visitor might get in touch to see how she can help.

You owe it to yourself to get well xxx

So you're thinking of committing suicide in case you get the chicken pox.

Eliza, if you had a broken leg you'd get help from the doctors for it, wouldn't you? Mental health is no different, and you need help for your anxiety just as urgently as you would if you did have a broken bone. Believe me, I know, because you remind me so very much of how I was when DD2 was a few months old. My anxiety was out of control. Invasive thoughts took over my life, and though I listened to everything trying to rationalise them with me, it didn't help because my anxiety was far more powerful than their words. I needed help, and the hardest thing in all the world was reaching out, admitting the extent to which I was suffering and how much help I needed.

BUT here I am two years later. I took the medication (yes, whilst BFing, I saw upthread that might be a concern for you) and though it took time, I got there. Anxiety doesn't control me anymore, and more importantly, it doesn't control and impact on my life with my children.

You need to show somebody this thread if you can't bring yourself to say it out loud. Help is there, I promise, all you need to do is reach out for it - for your DS and DD if you can't do it for yourself

Have you been on Mumsnet for a while? Is there a Mumsnetter on this thread who you have seen a few times, who you find funny or supportive and have seen a few of their posts?

Do you think maybe you could send them your husband's mobile number?

Please x

Eliza, sweetheart. You need to stop. Just stop.

Think about this carefully. You MUST ring your husband. Or send us his number, one of us can call him.

This is time to protect your babies by looking after yourself.

Please call your husband and get him to come home. You need urgent help for your mental health.