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Original poster

If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

535 replies

SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 04:43

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 11:23

I wish I hadn't had dd. better not to have had her than lose her now

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 02/04/2016 11:26

You really need medical help today IMO your mental health is not straight you are not going to die neither is your baby from chicken pox did you have another thread about this yesterday? Please get some help

fjes1975 · 02/04/2016 11:27

Please stop thinking you are going to die, that is unlikely.

Get off the internet and seek help Flowers

lucysnowe · 02/04/2016 11:28

please phone your DH and tell him how you feel.

FarrowandBallAche · 02/04/2016 11:28

Get your DH back home now.

You are not going to die of chicken pox but your mind isn't going to believe that.

You need help quick. Do not say anything to your DS.

Looly71 · 02/04/2016 11:28

Please call your husband and tell go to come home straight away. If he cannot get back can you call a relative of close friend who will come to you? Show them this thread and ask them to find someone to see you today. You are not going to die but you are ill and need help getting things in perspective. Don't keep these feelings secret from your husband and don't minimise how you're feeling. Please keep in touch on here today so you know you're not alone. Flowers

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 11:29

He's on the golf course

OP posts:
Lollypop27 · 02/04/2016 11:30

You really need to talk to someone. Can you call an out of hours doctor a crisis team?

Can anyone be with you today? Could your Dh come home to talk things over with you.

How old is your dd? What will happen if your dd gets chickenpox? Why's it worse if your daughter gets it?

Please phone someone 💐💐

Fairylea · 02/04/2016 11:30

Print off this thread and take it to your GP. They clearly didn't realise the type of thoughts you are having.

BombadierFritz · 02/04/2016 11:31

Phone up your midwife or health visitor or gp and show them this thread. There is help out there for your mental health.

Looly71 · 02/04/2016 11:31

Ring the old course reception and ask someone to page him.

MrsJayy · 02/04/2016 11:32

Ring him to come home.How old is your baby how long have you been having these anxiety issues

fjes1975 · 02/04/2016 11:33

I think this an instance where you can go to A&e and present yourself.

AyeAmarok · 02/04/2016 11:33

Sweetheart, I think you need to call someone for help.

Don't say anything to your DS, you'll just scare him.

Your thoughts seem to be very, very intrusive, and you seem to be "spinning" a bit (I recognise this as I do it too).

honeysucklejasmine · 02/04/2016 11:35

Oh Eliza, you really need to seek help. I am not usually one for it, but I would not rule out presenting at A&E and explaining. Certainly I would class your thoughts as an emergency, and mental health is just as important as physical health... Perhaps more so as it involves your daughter.

You need to speak to a professional as soon as possible today, and show them this thread.

sallysparrow157 · 02/04/2016 11:35

How old is your baby? If she is very little and has had a chickenpox contact your GP may prescribe antivirals for her so it's worth going to ask for them, you can then mention how you're feeling too.

For what it's worth, I'm an intensive care doctor. I think you've got your statistics a little skewed with men b vs chickenpox deaths. Almost everyone gets chickenpox. A tiny tiny proportion of those get sick enough to need intensive care, a tiny proportion of those who need intensive care will die. (In 6 years working in intensive care I can think of 5 people with chickenpox who needed icu treatment. They all got completely better). Hardly anyone gets men b, but of those who get it, quite a lot get very very sick and a few of those unfortunately die.
We do have effective treatment for chickenpox pneumonia and for the type of infections you can get via the skin lesions.

These are facts. I'm worried though that your conviction that you will die is stronger than the facts. Please see your doctor today. Partially cause if your little one is tiny they could give her chickenpox prophylaxis, but mainly to have a chat about your anxiety.

Scarydinosaurs · 02/04/2016 11:39

You seriously need help with your anxiety.

Have you ever had CBT? What advice have you been given in the past to manage these kinds of intrusive thoughts?

FarrowandBallAche · 02/04/2016 11:45

I see from one of you other posts OP you're afraid that DD will die too.

You have to get help with these thoughts.

MNHQ
IonaMumsnet · 02/04/2016 11:45

Hi there OP We're so sorry to hear you're feeling so worried.

We'd like to echo what all the other posters, some of whom are professionals and medical experts, have said - that you and your daughter are safe and healthy but it does sound like you need to speak to someone in real life about how you are feeling urgently as these feelings of anxiety sound like they are taking over and you shouldn't have to put up with this as it can be resolved.

We'd urge you to call your out of hours GP or midwife and ask for help. If you can't do that, there are a few numbers on our Mental Health web guide here that you could call instead. Just read them out what you've put here on the thread. Or show your husband what you've put here and the responses you've had. He should be able to get the ball rolling for you.

Best of luck. You and your children sound physically fit and healthy - there's no reason why you should have to put up with not feeling happy, too. Do come back and let us know how you get on.

MaisieDotes · 02/04/2016 11:47

eliza you said on our bus that you had been receiving help for your anxiety- what's happening with that now?

Sometimesithinkimbonkers · 02/04/2016 11:49

Thank you for coming in there Iona....

You really need to contact your DH to come home and seek some support as soon as possible.

You should not need to feel this way, there is lots of help out there for health anxiety.

Please see someone as soon as possible!

scotsgirl64 · 02/04/2016 11:52

I really think you need to see you GP and get referred to a psychologist or get some CBT regarding your anxiety .

KitKat1985 · 02/04/2016 11:53

Hi OP. I'm sorry you are so anxious. How old is your DD? From the nature of your posts I'd be concerned about some kind of postnatal mental health issue. This level of anxiety is not normal. Please try and contact someone professional asap and tell then your concerns (not just that you are worried you may get chickenpox, but that you feel you and DD will die and you are planning for your funerals etc). There is help available. Does your DH realise how severe your anxiety is?

LittleMamaJama · 02/04/2016 11:53

eliza Try to seek help especially for your DS. My mom got chicken pox in her 50s and yet with all other ailments, she recovered from it.

I've seen grown ups in Third World countries get chicken pox and yet survive it- painful yes, but they pull through. Now, imagine those countries do LACK the facilities that we are so lucky to have and yet some how they manage, so please please, think about calling your GP or a nurse and at least be assured that all will be fine. Flowers.

Happyat40 · 02/04/2016 11:55

I'm going to be a little more blunt :

OP you have to seek professional help urgently re your anxiety - your thoughts and behaviours WILL undoubtedly be affecting your children and they are at risk of emotional harm if you are preparing for your death - which you have no evidence for.

If you leave this unchecked - when it DOES come to the attention of health professionals they will need to consider safeguarding your children as it is desperately unhealthy for them to be exposed to this.