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Original poster

If I die can I insist dh takes dc to see my parents?

535 replies

SweetElizaRose · 02/04/2016 04:43

I'm fairly sure I'm going to die. I suffer terribly anxiety and recently have come into contact with chicken pox to which I am not immune. I have a strong feeling it's going to kill me.
I'm an only child and my parents will be devastated. Dh does not get on with my parents and I likely to take the children and go ang live with his mother. Is there any way I can legally put anything into place to give them some access? Dh works full time so I'd like my parents to be able to do some of the childcare. Also my dc are close to my parents so I feel they would benefit from seeing them as ds in particular will be very upset. Dd is only a baby so won't really know either way.

It's really worrying me. Or do I just have to discuss it with dh and hope he will be reasonable?

OP posts:
Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 07/04/2016 18:46

I did but I hate to worry her. She and my dad don't need any extra worry. My dad isn't in brilliant health - he's one more episode of stress away from a heart attack - high blood pressure etc

OP posts:
AugustaFinkNottle · 07/04/2016 18:57

Please tell your husband that he's on duty tonight so that you can get some sleep. And please start taking those anti-depressants immediately.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 07/04/2016 19:01

I will have to go back to gp because dh has thrown the first lot away.
He won't get up. There's no way. My blood sugar is 20 and won't come down.

OP posts:
motherinferior · 07/04/2016 19:01

Yes. Please.

motherinferior · 07/04/2016 19:03

I think it would be worth telling your GP and the nurse that your husband has thrown away your prescribed medication. AngryAngryAngry

Finchley26 · 07/04/2016 20:13

Sorry, but not allowing you to take prescribed medication for your mental health could be considered as emotional abuse. Please speak to your GP first thing tomorrow morning and get proper face-to-face help regarding your anxiety and your husband's disgusting attitudes.

Alternatively, call out of hours tonight.

Stuffofawesome · 07/04/2016 20:21

Very unprofessional of the pharmacist to question you in hearing of others add what you have just said to what you need to tell your nurse.

BastardGoDarkly · 07/04/2016 21:13

He's thrown them out??! Shock Angry

Eliza is there any part of you that thinks he's hoping you're going to break?

Please please, do go back to the gp, you need to stay healthy, for you and your beautiful children x

Emeralda · 07/04/2016 21:19

Eliza, I couldn't agree more with Finchley. If you don't phone tonight, please phone the GP first thing tomorrow and ask for another prescription. I would tell them that your husband threw the first lot away but you might choose not to. The important thing is to get more help, whether it's medication or counselling or both.

Fairylea · 07/04/2016 21:29

I think the relationship with your dh is actually one of the main reasons your mental health is close to the brink. I suspect if you went it alone and took the anti depressants you'd actually find you felt less anxious, more in control and less frustrated and depressed than you do at the moment.

MrsJayy · 07/04/2016 21:29

He had no right to throw them out none at all did he say why he did that ? Are you eating ok the not sleeping does that have an impact on your diabetes I really think you are in a bad way physically and emotionally call your mother and get some support

Footle · 07/04/2016 22:08

I would also ask if this man is actually trying to break you. He has no right whatever to interfere with your prescribed meds. You and your children need protecting from him.
The pharmacists are unprofessional.

Gazelda · 07/04/2016 22:12

Bless you Eliza, you must feel as though the world is against you. But honestly, we are all here for you. We're willing you to have a peaceful nights sleep, to get your diabetes under control, to be open to your GP and perinatal nurse, to take the ADs, and to get some support from your DH.

Could your mum come to stay for one or 2 nights while DH is away? With or without your DF? Perhaps she could take responsibility for DD until midnight while you get your head down for 6 hours?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 08/04/2016 01:12

Jesus Christ your DH is an asshole OP.

Anxiety is such a bitch.

Flowers
Cagliostro · 08/04/2016 01:52

The most important thing that will protect your DCs is getting your mental health seen to.

Sertraline is a good medication. It's an antidepressant but is very effective for anxiety too.

This goes way beyond PND. PN psychosis was mentioned upthread, there is also such thing as post natal OCD. Whatever is going on in your mind it needs to be told to a professional Thanks

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 08/04/2016 07:01

Splitting headache this morning - could be pox could be exhaustion.
Really really hope if we are going to have it dd gets it first so that she will hopefully be less affected. It will be more worrying if I get it first and she has prolonged exposure. She's still full of cold...

OP posts:
BastardGoDarkly · 08/04/2016 07:04

Eliza will you go back to the gp today love? Brew

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 08/04/2016 07:08

I can't today...I could Monday
I think maybe four hours? Broken up. I expressed at 12, 3 and now and dd was up at 1, 5 and now.

OP posts:
GinAndColonic · 08/04/2016 07:12

Is there anyone who can help whilst your husband is away on business? Can you move in with your mother in law?

Is there anyway you can beg your husband not to go?

You are sounding better today. You have to ask your husband to do ALL the night feeds before he goes. I know you are still up expressing but you need to express then sleep.

Please phone today and make an appointment for Monday with your GP to get more meds. Your husband is away for that length of time, I bet you anything you'll be better because of the tablets by the time he gets back.

Original poster
SweetElizaRose · 08/04/2016 07:15

I wouldn't move in with mil. That really would push me over the edge!
The trouble is ds has to go to school and my parents and mil live a good half an hour away. So we need to stay here.

OP posts:
GinAndColonic · 08/04/2016 07:26

Could your MIL move in for a few days, just to help you out with school run and dinners etc.

You need to build support up for thr next few weeks.

Stuffofawesome · 08/04/2016 07:29

You may not need to see the gp in person. Perhaps a phone appt is poasible where you tell them what happened to your needs and they can reissue prescription for you to pick up

Emeralda · 08/04/2016 07:47

Morning Eliza Brew. How about calling the surgery first thing to see what they think is best - repeat prescription, phone appointment or face to face appointment?

AugustaFinkNottle · 08/04/2016 08:52

Can you just express when you get up to dd? That would at least cut down the number of times you get up in the night.

sadie9 · 08/04/2016 10:00

Pro Formula Feeding Rant Alert
You are struggling to keep yourself healthy enough to mind your children. You have done over 4 months of exclusive expressing, that already deserves a medal for services to a newborn! You won't be damaging your baby in any way to give her formula. You wouldn't know yourself after a stretch of 5+ hours of unbroken sleep. Don't mean to pressure you at all and bludgeon you with arguments, but there is a fierce lot of pressure on the breastfeeding side too. And it's a very emotional process too, I get that. You won't be giving in, you'll be making a choice about what's healthier for you and your family situation overall that will move towards things becoming a bit easier.
I had a very hard time producing breast milk. My friend who is a hospital pharmacist, and who breastfed her own, came into my kitchen where I was at the end of my tether, desperately pumping and crying, and pumping and crying with damn all coming out, and she was horrified. She said 'What is going on here??. The chemical composition of breast milk and formula is as near to identical as doesn't matter! For god's sake woman go down to the shop and buy a tin of formula!' The health professionals try to encourage breastfeeding (because it can be so difficult) so they rarely if ever say anything positive about formula feeding.
There are many reasons why WHO suggest breast milk only till 6 months and that recommendation has to span many many less developed countries than ours, where few clean drinking water facilities are available. And where formula is watered down or cows milk is given from birth due to a lack of education, etc if bottle feeding is seen as more westernised. The breast milk recommendation is as much about protecting newborns from unsanitary conditions and spread of disease in unvaccinated populations in such countries, it is definitely not all about nutritional content. And to prevent formula being further introduced as a cultural norms by overzealous marketing when it doesn't need to be. There is research that suggests exclusively breastfed get eczema and allergic dermatitis more often than formula fed. So damned if you do damned if you don’t.
Your mind, at the present time, will find something to blame you about no matter who gets what or what way the baby behaves. So you might as well do it on a decent sleep.
Just a voice from the other side of the argument in the interests of a fuller perspective (yay, go formula feeders! We rock). So I am just saying to consider maybe, perhaps, you could think about a slow changeover to formula sometime between today and the 6 months. You can't just stop one and start the other on one day anyway, you would have to do a bit of mixing so just pull back the dates for starting the mixed feeding a bit earlier even. If you have breastmilk frozen, you can add in a small bit of breastmilk to the formula for a good few days.
Hope the rest of today goes easy for you, and that your mind gives you a break.
P.S. My DD when she had chicken pox had only 4 or 5 spots in total, no fever. I gave her one dose of Calpol one night because she couldn't sleep, no other symptoms. If I hadn't see the spots I'd never have known. My DS, continuous exposure up close twice never got it.