Keeping it real in the depersonalisation/derealization hang out thread

[JeepersMcoy]

Following a thread in Chat where a few people have said they suffer from depersonalisation and derealization issues I thought it would be nice to move the conversation to somewhere a bit safer and out of the Chat traffic. It has really helped me to just hear that there are other people out there who feel how I feel and I would love to be able to come and share good days and bad days with you all.

Biscuits, cakes and nibble are provided along with a selection of hot and cold, alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages (all dietary requirement catered for). Pull up a chair and and together we can attempt to hold onto some semblance of reality.

Volunteering sounds good Jeepers

All okish here.
I'm good but my exes (DC have separate fathers) are both being fuck nuggets, so I'm not happy.
They rarely kick off at the same time, so I can normally tolerate them better.
Both have addiction issues, so they're not able to be rational.
We don't co-parent

Sadly, this obviously rattles my DC.
One is very upset and snappy with the stress and the other doesn't know I'm aware of what their dad has done. And, unfortunately has lied to me in a misguided (bless him) attempt to protect his dad.

I could happily knock the pair of them out (exes, not DC!!)
Luckily (??) this is not a new situation, so won't rattle us too much.

RoomForASmallOne your comment about kindly knocking your DC out

I get pulled up for not being rational. I have take to saying, why be rational? Pi isn't. Nor is root two.

It's a maths joke.

I do not consider addiction to be a laughing matter. Your post just struck a real nerve in me. I have no DC and at least you write it down and do not actually knock your DC out, unless you do, in which case...well...there is a process...

Sorry folks, that decended quickly. As you were.

all.

erinaceus

Sorry if my post upset you.
I'm cross with my exes, not my DC!!!
I'm angry because my DC have (yet again) been messed around by their fathers.

I don't consider addiction a laughing matter, either.
I'm an alcoholic, in recovery.
My grin is a gallows humour grin because I understand exactly why my exes are the way the are (mostly, I do)
I've had 15 years of the fallout.

Thank you Room. It is references to violence towards children.

Flashbacks and stuff today, not been this bad in ages. This is unconnected to Room's post, which I had forgotten about until now.

Cup of tea, I think.

Sorry you had a bad day erinaceus

I think you misread me

I wasn't referring to my DC when I said.... Happily knock them both out.
I was referring to their dads.

It's relentless dealing with addicts, it's a merry-go-round I would much prefer not to have a have anywhere near my family but my DC just want dads.
My vent was because I sometimes find it tough deflecting their crap away from my DC.

Luckily today was a lovely day. We took ourselves off to a lido with friends, big picnic, loads of swimming.

I did misunderstand.

I appear to be sensitive on this issue.

How is everyone doing.

I don't know the MN etiquette but I've reported your post erinaceus about you thinking I wanted to/actually hit my children.

I understand you completely misread my post, I don't want your response to still be readable.

Thank you Room.

Maybe I should leave MN now? I am not sure.

MNHQ has decided not to delete.
Fair enough

Have been having a lazy Sunday.
Mostly films and food and prepping some stuff for a writing workshop I'm running soon.
Lashing rain here with occasional rumbles of thunder, the rain sounds lovely.

I've been away visiting my uncle for a couple of days. It was nice and did us all some good I think. Dd is all over the place due to starting school soon,so it's good to get out the house.

Don't feel you need to leave Erin unless you think it will do you some good to have an mn detox. I do it sometimes as it can get a bit much. It is so easy to misread stuff on here. For what it's worth I thought the whole exchange between you and room comes across as very amicable. Just a misunderstanding, which everyone dealt with very respectfully.

Morning all.

Having a good week, I'm busy running around, so distracted from my head quite a bit.
Sunny weather is definitely helping.

Jeepers You've inspired me with your talk of volunteering, so I've set up a meeting next week to organise running some writing classes. So thank you for that

Hello everyone!

I'm glad I inspired room ! I would absolutely come to some writing classes if you were near me. I have only recently started writing fiction and am loving it so much. I just wish I had the confidence to go for it years ago :)

I realised yesterday that I have started to get way too much on my plate. I have a habit of doing this, it's sort of like a manic phase and I will take on loads and loads and then crash horribly. So, I wrote out a list of all the things I want to do and the time I have to do it and then prioritised them and crossed of all the things at the bottom I can't realistically do. I am now trying not to think about those things and not stress about them. I am just focusing on the 3 things at the top of the list. Phew!

I love a list.
If I don't write it down, it gets lost in the tangle that is my head.

I'm very conscious of not saying yes to everything, as much as I can remember to.
I definitely agree to things when I'm buzzing and fizzy.
I get overwhelmed, very quickly..... And I forget that, every time

So a rolling, to-do list keeps me a bit contained.

I love a to-do list. Except for sometimes I sort of get stuck writing them.

On sort of like a manic phases, I find that this poem expresses the sensation in the first person.

Watch out for Thing number 14, which is a bit bleak.

We are going to stay with mil today for a couple of nights. I don't want to go! I am trying to pack but can feel the panic descending and reality sort of stepping away from me. I feel bad because she is so nice, but I just hate the thought of staying in her house. It makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. I want to be at my home with my things!

Oh dear. Things aren't going well. I have been stressed and irrationally annoyed. Then as soon as we arrived dd started throwing up. She has been sick 3 times in the last couple of hours. Sometimes it is tiresome when your prediction of everything being awful turns out to be right!

Hi Jeepers.

I hope that you are alright. My experience is that in-law relationships are some of the hardest ones. How many nights will you be there?

Does anyone here have full-blown Dissociative Identity Disorder (Multiple Personality Disorder) or experience "time-loss"? I do.

I do not. I remember meeting somebody who had this. Do you have any strategies to help you? I remember being impressed by the grace with which she handled her multiple identities, which I found quite frightening.

Hi can I join you, don't know the technical terms but am currently floating above myself watching myself dealing with my son stressing about starting secondary school. It looks like I'm doing ok, but my floaty self is screaming for him to just go to sleep.

Hi nixnjj and welcome to the thread. I don't know the technical terms either, and I do not have a son about to start secondary school, but I can understand what you describe by a floaty self. It is good that you do not scream at your son though! When does he start secondary school?

Sending .

Gah! Had a terrible night last night. Dd's temp shot up and she was awake for hours in the middle of the night. I just wished i was at home with her. Still we survived and I have basically hidden in bed for much of the day claiming exhaustion from being up all night with her. We head home tomorrow thank goodness.

Nix I know just what you mean about having a second you that floats outside of your body and does the screaming. I have that a lot. It is a very strange thing to feel split in half with people only seeing the calm and controlled part of you.

Hi, he starts tomorrow, so today I am super busy on a timescale which always seems to make me worse. Just want a little peace and quiet and space but can have it. Holding on to the thought that tomorrow I can hide in bed for a few hours and stop trying to pretend I'm doing ok.

nixnjj It's funny how it is different for everyone, isn't it. I can't wait until tomorrow so that I can get back to work and not be around people who make me anxious. Other people are not doing anything, it's all me, but it has been tough for me this weekend.

Enjoy your peace and quiet tomorrow!