I'm rotting.

[dontrunwithscissors]

I've been doing so well recently. I had a great work trip to the U.S. and felt like the bipolar was finally under control, but I think everything's falling apart again. The last week I've been feeling so drained, hopeless, helpless, just want to disappear. The instrusive sucidal thoughts are back. I can feel the badness is back inside me. My stomach hurts like I've been punched; I can feel the evil spreading and rotting inside of me. I'm so, so tired of all this.

How many times before you just give up? I feel like they wouldn't leave a dog to suffer like this.

I've been building my time up at home over the last 4 or 5 days. Hoping to be discharged either today or tomorrow. Thanks for asking.

I'm feeling a lot better, thanks. Biggest problem is getting all agitated/having to pace around on a night. I've agree with pdoc that I will go on an extended pass for the next few nights and see how things go. That way, if my mood dips, i can come back in. If everything is well, they will discharge me to the crisis team.

That's really good to hear, I'm so glad you are starting to feel better.

Oh dontrun I know that agitated feeling, it's all consuming isn't it. Housework kept me busy but in hospital I guess that would be tricky. iPod, surfing and gaming saw me through long sleepless nights.

I'm very lucky to have such a good MH services. Most other places would have kicked me out of hospital by now.