help

[dottymum]

Ive a 3 week old son, a four year old daughter, my husband left a couple of weeks ago.

The baby is lovely, I adore him. My four year old's behaviour is terrible. I got up to see to ds, dd woke up, screamed hystericallym demanded i went back to bed immediately. She is over demandingm jealous of the baby to an extreme.
to be honest i really dislike her at the moment. daddy doesnt want her ad she is begging to see him. he wont see her. I get the crap for it,

I feel like i want her to go live somewhere else. i really really dislike her. I know she had a lot of upset, it isnt her fault, its me. Im horrible.

What am I going to do, I love my childreb, i dont want to feel like this. I dont feel depressed as such, but Im not myself at all

Perhaps its better for them both if i gve hem up and go away

bump! xx hugs

So am i.

going out soon to do school run and then some errands..will check back when i return....hope you are reading this.....xx (((((((hug))))))))

Good to hear from you dottymum, please keep posting :0

bump, keep posting dotty, much love to you
xx

Dottymum - are you back yet?

Ill go with the children.

i tried to explain to dd and she got very upset that I wasnt going with her. It felt so cruel to do that to her, I couldnt stand her crying like that.

Im exhausted now. Be around later

Have a rest and speak later then

hugs and kisses

YOU STAR!!!!

that is really good news dotty.

If you need anything between now and next Thursday let me know, my email is omewhere in this thread.

Dotty that's great! Come back and talk later when you feel up to it.
xxx

Hope you are having a good rest!

Please let us know if there is anything I or other local MNetters can do. (Company, shopping, babysitting, going to Doctors with you, meeting up for a coffee ANYTHING)

Take care xxxx

Before you go Dotty, please see the GP about some antidepressants...

They will honestly honestly honestly help you, and after a week or two you will feel much brighter, more positive and whilst on holiday at your in-laws you will be able to plan your future with your dc.

Big hugs to you honey
xx

Thank God Dotty! I'm soooo very relieved that you're going with them, it'll do you good to be with your kids but not being so presurised. I'm tearful with relief! As with many others who've posted you were my first thought when I was woken at 4am and again at 6-ish! I'm so pleased that you're starting to see this from another angle, it's very positive, you're already coming back up that hill! Having said that you do still need a little extra help, don't be afraid to speak to your GP or HV, they have dealt with this type of problem many many times before, there's a statistic somewhere that says that 20% of a GP's patients in a day are depressed/stressed, so you're not alone, it won't be as hard as you think!

Have a lovely peaceful rest and thankyou for letting us know how you are. Also, congratulations on getting everyone ready and out for your appointment, it's hard enough as it is!

I think it's 33%, thats what my CBT guy told me. Thats 1/3 population, please go to GP Dotty, AD's will really make you feeel much better.

Dotty

Dotty,

I have read this thread, am soo glad you are going with your children. Have you been signed off by your midwife????? Will it be ok for your ds to travel at such a young age. Get plenty of rest for yourself, even if it means sticking your dd in front of the tv you do sound like you are totally exhausted. We are all thinking of you - take care.

oh dotty I'm so pleased you've decided to go with them, I think it is the best thing for you all. I'm sure you will start to see things differently once you've got some support around you. Well done

bless you dotty...so glad you are making this decision xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

your babies need you....xxx post more later, when you feel up to it xxxxxx

well done dotty, if you need a hand with anything then let me know, i live in dagenham dont mind coming over to help you if you need it just let me know. [email protected]

dotty...you can see how much support you have got from virtual strangers..!!...there is much more support out there in real life...it takes a strong person to admit they are at a weak point and need help........please take the next step and call your doc or hv......

i was hospitalised with severe PND....no-one tried to take my son away......ever.

glad you've decided to go dotty. hope the inlaws give you lots of cuddles, love and support, you all really do need each otehr right now. hopefully you'll be able to have a rest as well and a little 1 on 1 with DD as well as DS

I think you have decided the best way you can to stay with the children. I think you would benefit really from seeing the gp asap and the time spent with your pils will then be a real saviour while you gather your self together again

Please take up mumsnetters offers of help in the next few days to make your preparations and see the gp if you can.

Will you be able to keep in touch via mn or email when you are with the PILs?

hi....

Im trying to use whatever energy I have left to be strong enough to sort this out. I thought how can so many of ou be wrong, and maybe it isnt right how Im feeling and if how I am now is familiar to other people, ..anyway..Im trying.

Ive decided to speak to the health visitor. I dont know if anyone read the thread on health about my gp - they prescribed an overdose of paracetamol to ds..I dont want to go there. If ad's can make me feel better then I owe it to the children to try.

I cant help but feel that if I do then something awful will happen. Its this awful feelign of dread. What ca go wrong, I don tknow, but I am so scared.

It wont be a holiday. If I go, it will have to be to live. PIL will help, but if we go, they want us there medium to long term. They are trying to get dh out there to talk to him too. not much point, he doesnt want to be with us.

I will get in touch tomorrow with some of you. I wonder if someone can help me with the kids so I can clean up the place before I move out. My parents are going to take the tv etc and give them to people who need them. I said give me two weeks out there, if I dont come back then get rid of it all. It feels like such a huge decision, ut I know Im not coping here.

Ill be takign the kids out alone, which will not be fun. But I have to do this.

My daughter is saying tonight she is not my friend and keeps crying and asking if I am really going to go with her and asks me not to leave her. I was so cruel to make her feel that way. I am so sorry I hurt her like that. She does need me. It was a terrible thing to say to her. I really thought she wold be happier without me. I can see she doesnt feel that way, despite how I still feel inside. I keep telling her I wont leave her. Ic ant let her down now, can I...and ds is so small. I as looking at him and crying, he is so dependent and tiny. I had tried to give him bottles and he was just crying and spitting it out. I think he is relieved Ive given up trying. he does love me, Im sure he does.

Im sorry, I am trying to think stragiht, its so hard. Im so sorry

Please tell me I wont always feel like this. I dont feel like myself. I dont like me.

Of course he loves you, they both do.
You're making the right decision by going with them.
You won't always feel like this - remember your hormones are all over the place having had a baby, on top of all the other personal stuff you have going on.
But please, dotty, go and see your GP for some ADs - is there a different one at the surgery you could see - if not, there is vast experience on here of all ADs, so if you wanted to double check doses etc you could do it here first. I've been on ADs for about 4 weeks and honestly, they are helping me see more clearly.
You are doing so so well, you should be proud of yourself for having got this far.
to you and your DC.