awful shock. not sure I want to be here.

[Raftofdeterminationandlove]

Hello.

I was going to namechange but can't be bothered.

Just received a very upsetting email from a close relative (not the relative being abusive. I get on with them and love them. It's just the email contained some very upsetting news).

The last few years have been hard. My parents split up and there were lots of complications. Just as it looked as if things might get better I get this bomshell.

I am sorry. I know that I am being irritatingly cryptic but I have to get something out now or I will take an overdose or cut or something (I have cut in my life but have an urge to now). This is something which could destroy our family. I have already been struggling with depression but am on tablets and coping day to day. Generally feel ok. Now this. If I can think of ways to put details up without identifying myself I will but this is terrible and I am so sick of it.

Thanks for reading if you've got this far.

Evening. Glad its not just me who forgets daft things. Anxiety is a real pain.Don't let these things get you down. They are normal for where you are now and as you get rested they will return. Don't let worry about symptoms add to your stressxx

Thanks Cjel I am ok. I am forgetting stupid things at the moment but I know why. It will pass. I don't think I have anxiety but who knows. I will know when I go for my mental health assessment.

Hope your migraine is better.

Afternoon Raft - how are you feeling today?
I'm just dropping by to bomb this thread and to offer you some and or - I realise it's a touch early in the afternoon for the latter but meh; the sun's over the yardarm somewhere!

Hi Thumb I am all right thanks. Just exhausted (I haven't done anything)

I think i will have the thank you.

Just been to look at ducklings. One little yellow one came running right up to us and stood at our feet looking hopeful. We didn't have any food.

Oh that's so cute!
I remember walking in Southwark park once and being, almost literally!, mugged by a squirrel looking for food - it chased us down the path and then jumped up on a fence post next to us and tried to grab us as we went past! then got on the path in front of us and attempted to menace us into feeding it - but we had nothing.

Emotional pain is exhausting, btw. Well, any kind of pain is exhausting, but it doesn't have to be physical.

A squirrel once climbed in my brother's backpack looking for food. They are bold little creatures.

That little yellow duck is always wondering off her own (we're calling it her because apparently the females are a bit more independent) The mum swam up to her today and quacked very crossly. She has nine other babies to look after too. I don't envy her.

Waves back.

Aaaaw!

I know I should be in bed Im going to bed but i feel really low and panicky and i keep getting an urge to cut i dont cut ive never cut and my stomach is playing up which i know is stress but doesnt help and i know im being annoying but i just feel awful and im so cross wiht myself i will hang on till my assessment i will try,

Honey, you're really not being annoying please stop thinking that! You are in the throes of something - we're not really sure what - and it's bringing up all sorts of feelings and urges that you may never have experienced before!
It's not too strong to say "you're not well" - if you had the flu, you'd be having all sorts of symptoms, but they wouldn't be "annoying" either, they're just part of your non-wellness.

Did you manage to get some Rescue Remedy? Or did you already have some, I can't remember - if not, get some tomorrow. and if you do have some then take it!

Thanks. Im a bit calmer. Im reading some terry pratchett. Im very teary. I am hoping to just drift off to sleep.

not sure if i can take rescue remedy. Am on fluoxetine.

I'll check for you.
Which TP are you reading? I have them all, love them!

There are no listed contraindications nor interactions listed for Rescue Remedy and any other drug, because it's a homeopathic preparation. The only extremely minor risk is the 2% brandy that is used in the Nelson's preparation of Bach Flower Remedies, including Rescue remedy - but if you want to avoid even that teensy amount of alcohol, then I recommend you look for Ainsworth's Emergency Recovery spray instead, as it's alcohol-free.

Thief of time

Oh yes, that's a good one! I love Lu Tze and the time spinners. :)

Yes [smile ]+

thank you thumb feel lke i could sleep now. Stomach not right but better. Wukl take rescue remedy xxx

Hurrah - sleep well my friend. xx

Dear Raft

Sorry to see you are struggling, but it's good that you are reaching out for support here. My DD finds this website very helpful - it covers lots of different problems, and has some great free downloads. I hope that might at least give you some distraction from your distress.

Please practise being kind to yourself - that is not self-indulgent, it's vital

Xxxxxx

Hello.

Thank you all for last night

I slept my eight hours (well seven) but am still tired. I suppose that's normal. Normal for me at the moment but not normal in general.

I haven't cut myself. I cut a bit of my hair. I have a cowlick that grows down the centre of my face which I cut once a month anyway. So no harm done.

I know that I am not well but I don't like admitting to it. This seems to have come crashing out of nowhere (I'm aware it probably hasn't) and I am still a bit shocked.

Thumb thank you for looking up that rescue remedy stuff for me. I will buy some when I can afford it and take it. If you hadn't come on last night I might have done something stupid. I was holding on because it is my baby brother's birthday today. Although it wouldn't mean anything to him at the moment imagine having something like that overshadowing your birthday forever.

Sij I am just going to look at that website you linked to. Thank you.

I am hoping to get to sleep earlier tonight. I can't see me ever being a "tucked up in bed by 10 pm with a cup of cocoa" type of girl but I do usually have a happy medium. I want to get back to that but it is difficult when I get distressed. I will try though as I know it is good for me. I think also if I really can't sleep or get distressed I will look up ideas for lesson plans. Doing stuff like that distracts me.

It is a horrible day today. It's bank holiday so I'm not surprised. I went and fed a little brown duckling who followed me going "peep! peep! peep!"

Fingers crossed for a calmer night.

Glad I could be here for you at the right time, Raft xx

My preference is for the Ainsworth's stuff, I have to say, although there is nothing wrong with the usual rescue remedy - but I used the Ainsworth's on an entire classful of hysterical women (without telling them what it was) to such good effect that 70% of them went out and bought their own! I got mine from a trade show initially, and am never without it now - it even impressed Dad when I used it on both of us after being given Mum's shock (to us) terminal cancer diagnosis, 8d before she died. I think she must have known but didn't tell us because of my wedding. :( Was 7 years ago now, Dad still has his bottle somewhere and uses it when he's very very stressed.

I can't do early nights - DS2 was being a royal PITA tonight and wouldn't go to sleep so I had to go lie down with him, and because it took so long, I ended up dozing off for a couple of hours. Now I won't be tired again until around 3am (it's 2am now) because I have to be ready to go straight to sleep when I get in there, since I can't put the light on for fear of waking Ds2 (we co-sleep). Gah!

I'm sorry about your mum

I know rescue remedy is good. I quite like it.

I have nearly finished Thief of Time now. It is a good book

Do you have the full set? My comfort ones, oddly, are the ones where Death is a large feature, and especially Susan - so the Hogfather is one of my favourites.

Yes I do

I like Death. I like the way he is developed as a character. Reaper Man is one of my favourites although it's an old one.