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Original poster

summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

917 replies

SomethingVicardThisWayComes · 27/07/2014 18:09

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....Smile

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

OP posts:
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Katkins1 · 11/09/2014 23:07

Nana, it's a reccomendation from the social worker based on the welfare report. We haven't been to court yet, were in the assesment stages. We had a preliminary hearing (without judge) to decide what to do in our case. I'm trying not to say too much that would 'out' me as we have to go to court in December. It's been reccomended on the state of his flat (as she can't visit there) and his behaviour (concerning). We are setting up contact at a contact centre, and the social worker is having a think about how to arrange long term supervised contact: it might be she can visit a family member (of mine, as this has already been offered to him) and he can meet her there.

Yes, it is rare for that reccomendation to happen- but I stopped contact based on these issues. Of course, a judge will have the final say (if we get that far), but such was the concern for dd's welfare in the event of unsupervised contact that it has not been reccomended; it is strongly advised against. The issues mentioned were flagged by me as a cause for concern and reason for stopping contact, so it was not news to me. I've shared this with the courts, CAFCASS and my ex p himself.

I have arranged a supervised contact for him next weekend. The information was shared with me as we are meant to be going to mediation and are trying to keep it out of the courts. I am also in telephone contact with ex p (to arrange contact centre) who shared this information with me quite freely. He's happy to share stuff like that; I suppose it's a bit of an unconvential set up in that we are all quite honest with one another. IF it goes back to court, the welfare report will pay a pivotal role in the judgment.

However, he was going to court for overnight visits and visits in his own home; so based on what the worker has advised, I don't think he has much of a case and I've asked him to drop the claim and come to some sort of arrangment out of court as a workable solution.
Sorry, that was long! I hope it makes more sense- I was a bit unclear earlier with my posting.

fluffydressinggown · 11/09/2014 23:25

Waiting to be assessed under the MHA.

Katkins1 · 11/09/2014 23:27

(Fluffy) you are in the right place. You are doing the right thing. Thinking of you x

fluffydressinggown · 11/09/2014 23:29

I'm at home actually. I just can't agree to go in.

Victrix · 11/09/2014 23:34

((fluffy)) x

fluffydressinggown · 11/09/2014 23:35

Just trting to distract myself and watch Masterchef and just trying not to think about what this means.

LEMmingaround · 12/09/2014 00:07

((Fluffy)) we are all here for you xx

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 00:37

Thansk xxx

NanaNina · 12/09/2014 00:42

Thinking of you fluffy - let us know how things go...........there's lots of us want to support you xx

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 02:12

I have been sectioned :( Going into hospital tonight, will still post tho if thats ok xx

Victrix · 12/09/2014 03:57

Course it's ok to post xx

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 04:30

Well I'm here is ok don't feel I need to be here tbh. On constant obs for now. Fed up x

Victrix · 12/09/2014 05:09

I'm not surprised you're fed up. Have you managed to sleep at all? Thanks

Pulledapart · 12/09/2014 09:09

((( fluffy ))) will be thinking of u Flowers

Sorry all but I'm still in lurking mode Sad

NanaNina · 12/09/2014 11:03

Yes please keep on posting fluffy - sorry you're fed up and I know how boring it can be on a psych ward, but let's hope it's not too long a stay. Hope you got some sleep as your last post was 4.00 a.m this morning.

Thinking of you and sending warm wishes xx

NanaNina · 12/09/2014 11:15

Katkins - I hadn't realised there has not been a hearing yet as I got the impression from one of your posts that unsupervised contact had been awarded to your ex via the courts. The fact that this isn't the case alters the position significantly.

Everyone in these private law cases has to be prepared to have mediation in an attempt to keep the matter out of court. I would absolutely urge you to do everything you can to come to some resolution without it getting into court. Of course you will be able to make whatever arrangements are acceptable to you both so long as it's just an agreement between the two of you. It would of course be possible if ex agreed for contact to be supervised on a permanent basis, though don't know how likely it is that he would agree.

The other thing to bear in mind is that there is no legal aid available for these cases any more, so parents have to represent themselves in court, which can be very difficult for them. Also cases get very drawn out and the potential for hostilities between the parties intensifies in my experience.

Hope contact goes well this weekend and that you and ex manage to come to some agreement that is in your DD's best interests as that's what it's all about isn't it.

Katkins1 · 12/09/2014 11:24

(Fluffy) here for you, keep posting.
Nana, yes, agree with all you have said there. I stopped contact as he was drunk and violent towards me on visits. Thanks for your advice, it's helpful. I hope he sees how lovely dd is, and what a chance he is wasting with his drinking. We are really keen for him to see her, as she wants to as well, but it's hard when he's drunk. I told the courts this too.

I'm really struggling. I think I'm heading for another episode, lots of warning signs and feeling spaced out. Am.scared.

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 11:56

Hello. Iam on constant obs still Hopefully that will stop soon. Feel very agitated I don't need to be here. Feel like they are fussing over nothing.

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 11:57

Sorry u r struggling katkins tell your cpn xxx

Katkins1 · 12/09/2014 12:19

Good that they are observing you, fluffy. I've had bad days with psychotic symptons before, fluffy. I'll make a note of it for when I sed her next, I don't really want people fussing as its an on going thing. Obviously I will monitor it and see how things are in the next couple of days. I'll give a friend a warning, just in case I need help with dd.

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 12:27

That seems like a good plan. I'm just watching TV and trying to stay calm xx

SnowyMouse · 12/09/2014 12:48

(((( fluffy )))) Sending you good thoughts, it's horrible to be sectioned, but perhaps it's the best place at the moment.

Katkins1 · 12/09/2014 12:49

Have they changed your meds? Are you on Facebook, fluffy? Pm your name and I will pm you on there if you fancy a more private chat, any time x

fluffydressinggown · 12/09/2014 12:54

O have messaged u katkins.

Thanks Snowy.

I am sorry for sort messages im on my phone. Hope everyone is ok xx

SnowyMouse · 12/09/2014 13:00

Do feel free to keep talking, I remember how time drags in hospital.