summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

You're not a pest!

What do you do to calm yourself? Do you think you should tell someone in real life what you're going through, maybe one of your team?

At the risk of being somewhat controversial, we are all mental in our different ways on this thread ie have problems with our mental health.

I know what you mean about acting OK while also feeling otherwise - I used to hide my depression in a similar way. But perhaps it actually puts even more stress on you - as it did me.

You need to trust in what your CPN is saying. You are not a failure, you are someone dealing with a very difficult thing. Can you not talk to your DH (to whom I used to send hugs (along with hugs to you) a while back?

I am not psychotic, well, at least I don't think I am, I am not seeing things although weirdly I did hear something (just the one word) yesterday but I am not hallucinating or anything. I know we are all 'mental' on this thread I just don't want people to think I am unwell again. I just can't tell my husband, I just can't.

My CPN knows.

I am trying to distract and watch Masterchef Australia, I also had afternoon tea out this afternoon (wish I could say where but don't want to give away my location :)).

Scared about what I will do when I go to bed tonight. Scared of how I feel. Scared of all of this. Ugh.

Sorry for posting so much, you must think I am so dramatic, I promise I am not making it up :( Sorry I am not being supportive.

Fluffy you are not being dramatic x I found writing things down helped even if you tear them up after.

Still not tired. I think I'm running on adrenaline from my near miss. I need to go to the GP at the beginning of next week and I'm already worrying that I'll meet loads of referendum campaigners or there will be tv cameras somewhere

Lots of reporters in my small town just now so not an irrational fear.

Distraction is good fluffy - it can be such hard work though, recognise that. Can you take things one at a time, try not to think about night? Just thoughts, not sure if they'll help. You're not coming across as dramatic.

Oh dear, victrix - it must be very hard with loads of cameras/pushy people around Definitely worth checking with your GP if your sleep is poor though, you're quite right.

Thanks everyone xx

Fluffy, you aren't making it up. I think that too (!) There are lots of similarities between us and the way we experience things. I hear stuff all of the time- my CPN says what matters most is that I manage it.

Sorry I'm not being very supportive- I am really, really struggling with the pain. It's so intense- even when resting- I've been in this sort of intense pain for, well, since I had my psychotic episode (and then mild pain), so for six months in varying degrees. Even something like dd putting her feet up on my lap, or sitting on my lap, hurts. It just feels so tender. All of my joints feel swollen and I feel like they are full of fluid. My ankles, legs, hips, everything hurts. I actually cried with the pain today. I dont think it's just depression creating this :(

Depending on what blood tests they did, they can see if there is inflammation.

Saw my boss today. Looks like I'm going to be dismissed on grounds of capability due to my illness.

As the breadwinner and the one who pays the mortgage, this is not good.

Fluffy, I've seen you post for a long time now and I know you're not making it up. I'm just really sorry to hear you're struggling again and I'm sending lots of love and positive thoughts your way. Keep going x

Oh no Keema I don't know what to say.

(Keema) can you go the citizens advice beraux? Do you have s union you can talk things through with? Xx

Fluffy you don't sound dramatic or making things up, but someone who's struggling with a very tough illness. Your thinking isn't working right tho - you are an amazing person.

keema sounds like a really tough day. Do you have people you can get advice from or cab if yr in uk. I think once you get a plan in place it will feel more cope-able with. Be kind to yourself.

katkins that amount of pain sounds awful, you are incredible keeping going with that plus the mh stuff, for so long. Really hope the tests find something physical and treatable

mp what did you get up to today then?

snowy lots of wise words from you today.

Hi everyone else hope yr days been ok. Mines been ok but anxiety flared up lunchtime and has been a pain ever since

It's a world away from the informal meeting I had last week where he wanted me back.

I'm feeling utterly shit tbh. This year has sucked. 3 months in an acute ward. Loads of family trouble due to my illness and now I'm going to lose my job and following on, my home as we can't afford it without my salary.

Crappy shitting wanking toss of a year.

Oh Keema :( I am so sorry about this, I feel like I have 'known' you for a while now and you have fought so hard to keep working. I hope CAB can advise on this for you and help you. Lots of positive thoughts going your way xx

Oh katkins I am sorry you are still struggling with this pain so much. I hope, like snowy, says that the blood tests show something they can help you with.

Fairly certain that God is sending me messages, feel very sad about it all. I don't want to. I don't have time for this shit. Please don't worry though, I am safe at my parents and safe with my husband. I have talked to my husband about having some time off work and he has agreed with it so I will ring in tomorrow (I work M/T/F). I said I would ring my DBT nurse tomorrow so will do that. Trying to focus on the future stuff I want to do, I feel very muddley and worn down.

See this is why I am making it up. I am going shopping with my Mum tomorrow for some presents for my SIL and BIL who are having a baby in December. If I was poorly I wouldn't be able to do that, but I will. But I know what God wants for me, it is just not what I want, I am not sure what the best thing to do really, listen to God or not. How can I do all of this stuff while I am being talked to by God himself, everything needs to stop. Stop stop stop.

Sorry for rambling.

Fluffy, look at all the stuff I do! ,
I cut the lawn in the middle of a psychotic episode once. And went to Saibsburys. Poor fellow shoppers didn't know what to think
Going out and having a focus will help you, I'm sure. Do you feel safe? And do you think you could call your cpn asap and explain things are declining for you? Sounds to me as though you could go o e way or the other right now, and the medical team are there to stop it. You can fight this, I know you can.

I went to work when I was psychotic. It's amazing what you can do when you're bloody minded enough. .

I don't hear someone making it up. I hear someone who is trying bloody hard to distract themselves and fight against their crappy illness.

Fluffy I can only add my voice to everyone else's..........you are not making anything up - you are not a pest - you are not being dramatic. You are struggling with a serious mental illness and I know you've struggled for a long time and it must be very wearing.

You say you're not sure whether to listen to god or not - I'd say don't listen to him and who says there's a god anyway? He isn't real fluffy so he can't make plans.........listen to your CPN and your DBT nurse as they are telling the truth.

Keema so very sorry to hear you are losing your job - I know you have been struggling too for so long and I think you and fluffy maybe suffer from the same kind of mental illness, and have both had IP stays in the past, which in my experience is not very pleasant and quite restrictive in many ways.

Just wish there was more we could all do to help - please keep posting if it helps. Sending warm wishes to you both and to anyone else who needs good wishes tonight.

Nice to see you silvery and CIQ - I agree with what you say silvery but I dislike the term "mental" - I think it's a derogatory term and not one we should be using, as it's used by people who don't understand mental illness.

Thanks so much for your support, I have requested for my last thread to be deleted because it is a bit dramatic!

My CPN knows exactly what is going on with me, we spoke today and yesterday. I don't post anything on here I haven't discussed with her.

I am sorry to worry people, things will be ok. I am just being silly. This whole God thing just fucks with my head - it just helps talking it out here.

I will have a nice day tomorrow.

I am just a bit scared tbh. I fucking hate mental illness - but of course now I am questioning if it is illness or reality, I don't feel ill but my CPN said I am.

I'll manage the job thing in the end. I've been lucky to hold on to it for so long - in a small way due to the illness as when I'm hypomanic, I'm incredibly productive. It's just a shame that the depressions are taking their toll and it's got to this stage.

Glad you are feeling a bit more optimistic keema

Glad you are feeling better, keema. Fluffy, you are doing all of the right things to keep yourself well. Keep going, and you can pm me anytime/ add e to facebook if you like.

I'm still in pain. Trying to be bothered about the housework but there's a kitten on my lap.

Have booked my graduation tickets (dd and one friend, expensive!), gown hire (again, expensive) and my friend is a proffesional photographer so he will take photos. Though I will order a basic package before the day.

Have also arranged a meal on the day itself (in the evening) with my friends (I invited 25, don't know how many will come though!) and then for my friends with younger children (childminder, university friend, schoolfriend with 4 children), we are having an outing or lunch on the Saturday after to make it easier with childcare.

Any ideas on a) a graduation dress/ outfit (I want purple) and b) what to do with 8 children- age 4-10? I need help with my grand plans! I'm a bit excited, though.

Sied last night. Feel very anxious today xz