summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

Sorry that was long again! DC is taking a nap miracle of miracles! Of course I cant move as DC is a little ball on my breast but I can at least reach my phone although my typing hand is now aching! :)

I'm bored of recuperating already. How on earth do I fill my days?

((( LEM ))) I hope you get better soon so you can visit.

Have you had a look at TED or Khan Academy, mp?

Do you like doing crafty things?

I hope everyone is having a really good day. I have washed/dressed/make-up and been out into town with my Mum and bought a dress for winter. I have been feeling really anxious and today my Mum said maybe it is my meds, so I rang my CPN and she said that it probably was so to go down to one 15mg every other day until I see her and she will try and book a review with the psychiatrist. Only the increase in meds had calmed down my stranger thoughts, but now I am wondering if this is all part of God's plan for me. For me to take the 15mg so I can get his messages, it is very confusing.

mentalpsychiatrist I only work p/t so to fill my time, I see my friends, I bake, I cross stitch, I colour in, I watch TV series on DVD - not terribly exciting but could you try any of them? I remember when I first came home from hospital I just enjoyed using my phone/laptop without being worried about it loosing charge and I would take myself out to the shops just because I could! I hope you continue to recover well :)

How was your review katkins?

nana glad you are feeling better now, you deserve to

Shit big type - I am wondering if it is God's plan for me NOT to take the 15mg so I can get his messages. I felt quite suicidal last night but I couldn't kill myself here, I am wanting to use ligatures a lot at the moment and I am not sure how much longer I can fight it.

I feel like I'm on course for a massive panic attack. Can't get myself calm.

Oh victrix Have you tried slow, deep breaths, or square breathing? Thinking of you.

((( fluffy ))) Have you said about feeling suicidal?

Thanks Snowy - I've had a breakthrough. One of the earliest signs for me is being really hyperaware of background noise and it means I can't concentrate on breathing etc. So I stuck some earplugs in and sat in the dark for half an hour and managed to get myself under control. I still feel a bit highly strung but I think I've managed to head it off.

Fluffy x

Well done Victrix, that must have taken some doing.

I'm still a bit on edge but it never got full blown. Sweet tea has helped too.

Hey all .

fluffy I get the same thing with the ligatures, I think it might be part of psychotic thinking: one of the more common themes. Have you spoken to your cpn about getting a review?

Lem Hope your friend feels a litte better soon

mental You could come and do my housework if you like ;) I know when I get psychotic , I need to sleep a lot more. Hope you are recovering well.

At my review, the Dr has said to up my setraline to 150mg, the max dose she is willing to pescribe to anyone. She said she wants to treat one thing at a time: because she's not sure what I'm presenting with. At the minute, they are thinking my depression is causing the problems with the psychosis, but she wants to do it slowly.

Sorry all of those I have missed. In a lot of pain and have taken dd to dance class and done all sorts of things today.

Fluffy I've settled on gardening. I bought loads of bedding plants and now need to fill a few beds. Other than that I think I'll cook a lavish dinner for DP.

I went to the GP for a meds review today (no issues to talk about). I've come away with more blood tests than usual (iron, cholesterol and fasting blood tests on top of the usual FBC). They also want me to have ambulatory blood pressure monitoring - I need to remember to ring later for that as they didn't have any appointments then. It sounds intrusive as far as blood pressure goes.

I think they're being optomistic about bloods, they're lucky to get enough needed for a paediatric vial for FBCs, never mind the rest.

The clinic did similar to me yesterday, snowy. Lots of tests, bp, all sorts. Am I right in thinking you have physical health stuff too? That must be hard to deal with on top of other stuff.

I do have physical stuff too, but chronic neurological and it's managed ok.

High blood pressure is new (I don't know how high it was, they didn't say and were holding the machine where I couldn't see it). The added blood tests are to see if the iron has helped, and check for diabetes and cholesterol (apparently if on clozapine you should get those 6 monthly).

They do lots of tests when they first see you to rule out physical causes of symptoms, e.g. thyroid (I think).

Mine all came back ok, but I'm still in horrendous pain. I have a review on Monday. The consultant said I must see mg GO about it as it doesn't sound normal

I didn't sleep at all last night and feel better today than yesterday. Weird.

Just popping by to say hi, am doing ok, and thinking of you all. Only platitudes spring to mind, so this will have to do for now...

Gosh, that is odd victrix I hoep you get some sleep tonight, too little sleep can be unhelpful.

Glad you're doing ok, silvery, good to hear from you

Well done victrix for getting through your panic attack, you did amazingly

Glad you had your review katkins and you have a way forward, it sounds like they are monitoring you very closely, sorry you are in so much pain

Spoke to my CPN and they have put my aripriprazole down to 10mg and prescribed me some diazepam to help with the anxiety. Told her I felt it was God's plan for me not to take 15mg and she said it wasn't. She said I am not well enough to go to work. I don't know what to do anymore :( Maybe it would be better if I wasn't here. Really struggling with my thinking.

(((( fluffy )))) It would not be better if you weren't here, you are much needed and loved. I hope the diazepam helps dull the edge of things.

I am just finding it hard because I can't tell anyone IRL how I really feel - they will think I am mental :( Which I am not. Just feel confused about everything. I don't know what to do for the best. Feel very muddled and upset.

Does it help at all if you write things out? Some people find it helps them sort things, or at least put them out there.

Sorry for posting so much! I know I am a pest.

I just feel torn in two. Part of me is at my parent's and laughing and joking and saying I am fine and part of me is desperately trying not to cry. My CPN said I need to calm myself and not panic but it is hard not to. My thinking feels very chaotic and I feel very suicidal, I want to hang myself, well I don't know if I do but I feel that that is my path chosen by God. My husband is away in a few weekends and I am wondering if this is the build up to me dying. I cannot cope with this anymore. I am so tired. I am such a huge failure.

(Fluffy) your cpn us right, try your best to stay calm. Keep tellin v yourself it is an illness, not you talking. When you think like that start labelling your thoughts "psychotic symptoms" keep thinking of them as symptons, not thoughts. They aren't you, it's your illness xxx