summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

Pulled, do you mind me asking what your diagnosis is? It's OK if you don't want to say, just that I've never met anyone that talks about their psychosis so openly, and I'm new to it all.

I had 3 or 4 panic attacks today, saw people that strengthened and heard voices, too.

pulled that sounds awful, it seems to me like you dealt with it really well though

I have not told my DH about my meds, don't want to worry him. I am just not so into increasing my meds but I know it will help and I don't want to get poorly again but... It is hard to believe what they are telling me, that what I am believing is not real and because it is hard to believe them it is hard to believe that I need a med increase. But equally I know that I have believed stuff before and it has turned out not to be true so I have to have some trust. Sorry if that is a bit muddly!!

Have had a quiet night, nice dinner and no real signs so pretty peaceful :)

thanks pyrrhagena and fluffy just reading everyone's kind words has made me feel miles better about the whole thing already :)

Katkins i've been diagnosed with depression with psychosis, low mood, PTSD, GAD and dissociative disorder. I don't really know what any of it really means there just a bunch of words to me (i don't have the brain capacity to read about them as i don't take much info in anymore). i kind of am floating day by day with all this to be honest.

fluffy meds increase can be hard just pace yourself. it is good that you have realisation that you need to have some trust in the professionals. its hard when your mind is telling you differently.

They think I have depression with psychotic symptoms,too.

Hello.

I feel a bit guilty posting in here as I don't think I'm poorly enough atm but I have been very ill and scared I'll be like that again.

I have anxiety. It flares up the week before my period and it's been bad the past couple of days. But because it isn't anywhere near as bad as it has been in the past (panic attacks one after another for weeks, hair and weight loss, sh and sucidal thoughts etc) I feel a fraud for complaining about it.

Just wanted to get it out there I suppose.

I should go to bed but I dread that awful sinking feeling that happens when I wake up or the horrible dreams. Feel sick, my joints ache and there're bricks in my chest.

Blimey! That was a right moany me me post, sorry. Wanted to brain dump somewhere.

I'll be ok in a few days I think. It's just exhausting fighting it all the time. I want to be normal.

I'm sorry, like I said I feel pathetic when you're all battling much harder things.

Oh god I just realised what I put, I definitely did not mean anyone with anxiety, depression or anything else wasn't 'normal'. Bloody hell.

Christ, just ignore me.

That's ok coumarin. I know how you feel. I'm pretty sure I'm just a complaining bitch who is just too pathetic and lazy to be able to manage properly and the others don't seem to mind me posting here (or do you?) so you are far, far less a fraud than me. I know what you mean about the dreams and waking, it's horrible isn't it. I've no sensible suggestion though because I'm not sure how I deal with bad dreams is sensible at all...

I don't want to speak too soon but I've woken up this morning feeling quite positive and dare I say cheerful?

It's making me feel a bit edgy if I'm honest because I don't 100% trust that it's real or that it'll last. I'm just waiting for the black cloud and panic to descend again.

How annoying that this shitty illness can even cast doubt on a good day.

Welcome coumarin please don't feel u cannot post. I'm a moany bitch at best of times on here & everyone has always been nothing but supportive. So post Whatever u want & whenever.

pyr ur not pathetic or lazy your just human so carry on complaining away!

spidey keep that feeling of positiveness going it yes the stupid illness can even make us doubtful on good days. Hope u have a good day

I've woken up feeling really drowsy & tired thanks to taking sleeping pills again last night. I had no choice I couldn't switch off thanks to the earlier event!

Hope everyone has a good day. I'll be having loads of

Welcome Coumarin.

Glad you got some sleep, pulled.

My CpN has just been out. She said I need to work on my symptoms and shouldn't really be thinking about work for now. Need to get a new sicknote from my GP in that case.

Also spoke to exp because we are in court for access to dd tommorow. The lies he tells are unbelievable really. I'm struggling a bit, feel like I'm coming down with something and need to ring docs for an appointment asap for my sick note.

Glad you are having a better day, Spidey

Thank you for the welcome.

Staying off MN for today as I'm overthinking everything I read (elsewhere) and finding new things for my anxious mind to worry about.

Hope you all have a peaceful day or a better one. xx

My CPN came to help me fill in the form for transferring to ESA. It was very good of her to help, I'm just shocked/saddened by some of the things she suggested I write. E.g. I can't learn complicated tasks, manage or plan daily tasks sometimes, cope with small changes, I'm sometimes not safe to go out by myself, I sometimes can't cope with social situations, I upset other people with my suicidal thoughts. I need prompting to take meds, sometimes to eat, change clothes and wash etc.

Am I really that unwell? (it's complicated as I need physical help with a lot of those things anyway).

snowy no you aren't really that ill, in all likelihood. But these days there are only about 3 descriptors for mental ill health, had she not put what she did you might well be found fit for work.

As an ex CAB advisor (and also having been on ESA 2010-12) I have kept up with the changes via the Benefits and Work site. They have changed the mh criteria twice since 2010, making it harder and harder to qualify.

I should qualify without the MH descriptors silvery, I cannot self-propel a manual chair at all (or walk), so I should get 15 points and go into the support group because of that one question. It's all the hospitalisations, she's saying that's proof I need full on supervision at times, and the voices saying I should walk under cars makes being unsupervised outside at those times unsafe.
I think that's why it's so depressing, my physical condition is very limiting (I had put I could crawl up and downstairs, but she said to take that out and just say I couldn't walk up and down stairs, which I can't). The MH on top of the physical is rubbish, it's saying physically I can't do X,Y,Z, but even if I could physically, I couldn't mentally.

The Benefits and Work guides are good, I used them as a base to work from.

Sorry, I needed to get this out somewhere safe.

I finally got up, showered, washed etc and am out the door. Better late than never. I don't know why I lie in bed when it makes me feel worse. I tell myself that I'll feel better if I get up and physically do things but then lay there panicking anyway. It's ridiculous.

I don't have experience of that Snowy but I think Silvery is right. I couldn't eat, sleep, go outside, get dressed at one point but when checking boxes to get CBT my score came out low. Each symptom is far more complicated than a one sentence description so perhaps she felt if it wasn't exaggerated a bit then you'd slip under the line if that makes sense. Were you able to discuss your feelings, with her, about what she was asking you put?

Ah, I knew you had a physically limiting condition, snowy, but as you know they've messed about with those descriptors too, so didn't know how they might apply.

I have had a fair number of jobs, all of them I ended up with depression, but the DWP seem to believe work is the answer for all. Luckily with the 10 years full NI I managed, plus Home Responsibility Protection from Ye Olden Days when a lone parent or one of a couple didn't need to work until youngest child was 16, I have managed to qualify for State Pension, due to start in Jan. (ATM I am living frugally on savings)

I went to my GP today to get my sick note. He thought I'd spoken rudely to him, and shouted at me. I started to cry and he said he's trying to do his best for me, he knows it's hard, but I need to watch what I'm saying or something along those lines. I am thinking of switching GPs soon. He was very rude.

I think the whole 'what distance can you do with an imaginary manual wheelchair' being added into the physical descriptors is outrageous, I did lots of placements within the NHS, 90% of the time clinical areas are accessible, staff areas are not.

I'm sorry you've been adversely affected, silvery - I've been on SDA since 1995 (when I was 16).

Did he say what he thought was rude, katkins?

Hi Coumarin :) glad you felt able to get dressed and out and about

snowy I am so sorry that your ESA form has made you feel bad, I think with them you have to do worst case senario and I am glad your CPN can help you

Sorry your GP was so rude katkins you should move GP if you feel your GP is not doing their job properly. I am glad you are in regular contact with your CPN.

I have seen my CPN and had a bit of a cry. Got 10 days worth of sleeping tablets and she told me to look after myself emotionally which is hard. I look after myself physically pretty well, I wash, do my hair and make-up and wear nice clothes etc its just all I do is beat myself up mentally. I am so convinced I am stupid and worthless and horrible that it is hard to believe anything else.

Could you switch GP within the practice? That might look better than switching practices, at least at first. Depending on how your local area works, different CMHTs may cover different GPs (that's how it used to be where I lived, so I didn't switch even when I moved out of catchment area).

((((((( fluffy ))))))) It is hard to look after yourself.

Snowy, no idea. He had some issue over the sicknote abd I was on the verge of a panic attack and was a bit fed up, so I snapped a bit. I phoned to aplogise, though. I probbably was rude. Im in court tommorow with my ex, and it's stressing me out.

Good luck for tomorrow.

Now my mind is doing somersaults that the GP will report me to the social worker for being weird and odd and not looking after dd properly...argh.Sometimes I wish I could stop my head from spinning.

Hi all I am diagnosed with scizoaffective bipolar type. Meaning I have all the symptoms of type 1 bipolar plus episodes of schizophrenia. I currently take 20mg olanzapine 800mg sodium valproate 2mg clonazepam and 200mg sertraline.

I had a year long psychotic depression ending June then at the end of July I messed up my meds and ran out which pushed me into a manic episode. The other day I crashed into a psychotic depression.

Tbh I'm just praying it's quicker than the last one. I don't think I have the strength plus my mother has only recently switched her shifts at work back because I was able to look after the dc.

I don't want her to have to step in again.