summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

Am on sertraline, dekapote and quetiapine - lowest therapeutic doses I think, and feel pretty ok. The quetiapine is the one I notice; I take one about 10.15 each evening, and am now feeling a gentle wooziness. They also make me sleep properly and refreshingly.

victrix do you read as a leisure activity? I used to always have a couple of books on the go; but realised I'd gone off reading. Made myself buy a cheap crappy novel in the supermarket, and kind of re-trained myself to read a book (rather than the net!!)

its lovely to 'see' some old faces/names on here....silvery you were so kind to me when i wasnt well....im glad your are still around.

and fluffy...

i might start a new thread soon.....to mark the new season. this one got a bit depressing....(yes i realise the irony! we are all depressed or mentally ill! but i kind of wanted these threads to be uplifting and supportive....!)

anyway. im on a fairly even keel but not great. better than i was. worse than i was before.
a friend today suggested i retrain as a counsellor.....food for thought she says i have the time to listen to people and have the heart for it....now i just need to find out if i have the finances for it too.....i so wish i had had the opportunities to train before i got tied down with bills and mortgages...but as i left home so young i guess that was never going to happen.

ive been thinking about my mother quite a bit lately. i think she will probably die fairly soon. part of me wants her to know im ok and that although i dont want a relationship with her i dont bear her any ill will....
i sort of want to let her know that but i dont quite know how. the fact she is on my mind makes me wonder if she is ok....we havent had contact for 15 years now....lately she has been on my mind a lot and im wondering why....i tend to have a fairly intuitive sense of impending doom....

Maybe send her a letter. No forwarding address. Keep it simple, whatever you need to say. That is a huge thing and if you feel the need to do that then maybe now is the time.

The thread has its own life and whilst its been a rough few weeks i do value that we can post here at our lowest without having to explain all the background.

Katkins. Keep going - read back on this thread. You are doing amazing and i for one think you are an awesome mum.

Same as LEM! Send her a letter if you think it is the right time. Trust your intuition. But protect yourself first...obviously it's hard to give advice as I don't know the reason why you are NC (and that's not a request!) but are you wanting to hear from her in return? Are you prepared that she won't reply? Do you know anything about her at the moment (I mean are you in contact with people who are in contact with her) or where she is? You could set up an email to give her if you don't want her to know whereabouts you live, but want to give her the option of contacting you. But then send the letter from another place to where you live so she doesn't have the postmark.

Take care.

Silvery I do, I'm pretty attached to my kindle at the moment! I'm mostly re-reading old favourites at the moment because my concentration is patchy so I don't want to "waste" a new book...if that makes any sense

Managed to cope with food delivery and have cleaned out the rodents so all pets are happy. Now for as I have battered through my to-do list for today.

Great to see you, silvery and fluffy

Just popping in. Spoke to my CpN today- she's coming out tommorow. I'm struggling with psychosis (think I might be on the brink of another episode), so they are hopefully going to adjust my medication when they have had a chat with the DR.

I'm a bit scared because I've got DD on my own and I'm worried if I do have another epsisode that I won't cope.

Right then victrix stop feeling guilty about "doing nothing" - reading is definitely doing something :)

I am planning to start on...wait for it...War and Peace soon (isn't that where Natasha got her name) I started once before, long ago, and although I enjoyed it somehow I stopped reading it again, so I know it will be a pleasure.

victrix I am also reading some old favourites at the moment, it is very comforting isn't it?

I am glad your meds are working silvery

I saw my CPN today and admitted (for the first time) that I feel a bit shit really. I am seeing things in the corner of my eyes, I am not sleeping, I just feel a bit overwhelmed. I am sick of having MH problems :( All I want is a normal life and I just fuck it all up. Work is ok in terms of the work load and the actually job itself, but going 2.5 days a week is hard going after being off for 2 years and being so unwell. Trying not to cry, I am sick of myself.

It must be horrible, having to deal with seeing things. A couple of people I met in the ward were discussing how they dealt with this - up to that point I had no idea what they might be experiencing - my own psychosis has always been about having very weird ideas about what is going on, though this can lead to hallucinations. (But with the right meds I have always recovered from the actual hypomania pretty quickly.) I must say what they said made me admire them greatly, as I do all you who are dealing with more intrusive symptoms than I.

Just popping in as having a horrid day with voices thanks to time of the month :(

hope all are doing ok & hello to fluffy & silvery :)

Nearest I've got to voices are misperceptions of music from the other room, and "ear worms" - songs on the brain as we old gimmers call them. And those things are normal.

The ear worms did get worse when I was depressed, I told the useless psych I had at the time, and he had never heard of this phonomenon, and I must suppose, had never experienced one. But everyone knows what an ear worm is, so he's surely an isolated example.

Mine is not too bad, I am seeing cats (of all things!!) in the corner of my eyes. Just a sign that I am stressed more than anything. Luckily my anti-psychotic means I know that it is not real and I can then try to deal with it.

Tried to explain to DH how I was feeling but didn't have the words and don't want to worry him so probably best I say nothing.

I have bitten the bullet and switched GPs today. My last ones were really nice.

I see cats too fluffy! Sometimes cats and dogs talk to me, too. Sorry that wasn't useful, I'm a bit out of it, but I wanted you to know you're aren't alone in it.

Thanks Katkins! Nice to know I am not alone.

Blimey -you make psychosis sound almost fun. Id quite like it if my dogs spoke to me. I dare say it is no fun at all. :(

When I was mega psychotic (ie sectioned and believing that God was sending me messages through the TV and people around me!) I was quite perky at times, I felt really special that God had chosen me. Its not all doom and gloom ;)

I guess it depends what they say

Thanks Silvery, I needed to hear that today

I feel weird. All sick and shaky. My skin feels wrong. This better not be something else in addition to depression/anxiety/gallstones/wonky leg otherwise I reckon I have a full house at medical bingo.

Made a GP appt for Thursday, that's going to be awkward: "Yes Doctor, I assume you've had a report from the hospital about that stomach ache I mentioned during my last appointment that I then laughed off...errrrrrrr"

Sorry to keep posting on here. I just feel so shit. Im so tired and fed up. I don't want to feel like this.

No apologies needed, fluffy. You just need a way of getting through till bed-time - did you used to play Solitaire?

I used to, it was soothing to my poor little brain when I was in unhappy marriage, and then, after divorce, a good way for me to transition from one task to another (I have often posted on here about finding it hard to get going on things)

But now, 2 years on, and needing to downsize, I have finally junked the obsolete computer I used to play it on (had to be Vegas rules) After many many years I no longer need it as I used to, but am very grateful it was there.

Lem - you ain't seen nothing until you've seen a dragon (victrix) could that be anxiety? I know when I get anxious I feel like that a bit. Don't apologise fluffy, I post loads on here too. Everyone's really supportive. My dining table started singing tonight, it does that sometimes. The experience of dinner tonight was vastly improved. As you say, it's not all bad

Never apologise for posting here.

Thanks guys :) I just went to bed last night and slept it off. My Mum is visiting today so I should have a nice day out with her. I hope everyone else is ok x