summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

I'm doing ok. I can have more time off work, but won't get paid and I have a mortgage to pay. It's all a bit of a worry.

glad to see you keema....could you survive on statutory sick pay? for a little while?
sounds a bit of a big ask to be going back so soon....please dont do too much too soon - you dont need a relapse.

if you have to go back do you have occy health? can you go back on a phased return? that was the only way i managed it....started on 4 hours a day and built up over 6 weeks.

It's tricky. They want to get rid of me as this is the second extended period of sick leave I've taken in two years. I can use my AL banked from this year for a phased return and I've already got the union involved.

It's just so bloody hard. 5 weeks ago I was in an acute ward. 14 weeks ago I was psychotic. Now I need to put that behind me and get back to life. I'd say "normal life". But who the fuck knows what that is?

Gosh I've been away a couple of days and thread seems to be very fragile at the moment

Just wanted to pop in and say I'm thinking of you all especially natasha I so hope someone in RL gets involved quickly for you

lem a very happy belated birthday Hope u had a good day

keema glad your out and doing well. Keep the positivity going.

something snowy katkins hope your all ok.

spidey be kind to yourself SH is horrible but you can beat it. I have been SH free for 8 months now so know it does get easier with time.

((( hugs ))) to all and hope everyone has a restful night.

I'm going to try get a few hours of sleep hopefully myself now but it's just proving hard to switch off tonight

(Pulled). I've barely slept the past two nights. Last night I was researching suicide methods, I don't even know why. I'm just do tired and everything seems a huge effort, even getting up and getting the washing done.

Just popping in. Natasha - am thinking of you x

Just a week left of the summer holidays. I feel very sad and scared about that.

((( katkins ))) I feel ur pain in terms of sleep deprivation and being exhausted. I get really annoyed with myself which starts the cycle of self criticism and self doubt. This eventually leads to negative thoughts about self harm & suicide. I've somehow been able to keep functioning but not sure how long I can keep it up without getting much sleep :( it's a duvet day again for me whilst DD watches cartoons. DH will be home soon to take over so only gotta survive another couple of hours with DD.

lem I'm the opposite as I can't wait till summer hols are over as DD starts full time in a couple of weeks!

Pulled, you understand! Sorry, just don't meet many who do. Post psychosis is hard with depression, and its my first time too, so I'm scared. I'm a single Mum, so on my own with dd all day....every day.

Lem, I'm scared like you, worried I won't be able to get up and readying time. 6am starts for me from next week on, and sometimes I don't even hear my alarm.....

Well I started my period last night so in attributing yesterday's low mood to that, today I'm irrationally angry, every little thing is winding me up we went to a shop this morning that sells reduced price food and it had a 25% off sale I expected it to be busy but it's members only so I hoped it wouldn't be too bad got there at 9:20 thinking we would get a space easy as it didn't open till 10 got there and found it jammed already it had opened at 9. Waited next to a car who was packin up to go to get their space and just as they left someone dashed in the space, I had to hold mil back because she was going to kill her. Got into the shop and my membership card stopped working ha to get a new one printed, the shop was so busy you could barely move and we had to take it in turns to stay with ds and the trolley and the other dashed off to get stuff (six pack of bottles of coke for 42p though!) hot in the queue which took an hour then got outside to find it pissing down ad not a coat between us. The world was going fuzzy in the shop I was twitching and building up to a panic attack and I'm really surprised I controlled it.
I've got the drs on Monday so I'll have a chat then.

I hope everyone starts feeling a little better soon.

katkins the start of any illness is hard as you need time to understand your own self and allow the meds/treatment to work. For what it's worth your doing soooooo much better than I was when I started having psychosis. I ended up in hospital as I completely dissociated myself from reality. I had my family & DH for support whereas ur doing it all by yourself! I really admire that about you it shows you have a lot of inner strength. just keep reminding yourself that your doing the best you can, easier said then done when we're feeling useless.

((( spidey ))) what a morning! Hope ur at home now with a nice and a u deserve it after all that.

I wish pulled had to take mil home had a sandwich there and now she's coming to our house for tea.
She was a bit frightened in the shop, she's never seen me close to losing control before, she's never seen me show emotions before either. I think I'm not who she thought.

Pulled, I've just had 4 months of psychosis and in a really acute stage for 8 weeks, I had home treatment (but they were going to section me at first) and DD stayed with friends for for 2 months. Before that, I had quite severe depression. Now, I think my depression is even worse. And I still have psychosis (in part). I feel lost because I've not had any information on psychosis, and all of my thoughts are about death/ suicide- very intrusive. I've had 2-3 instances of psychotic symptoms in the last week too. I'm not sure it's gone away really.

(spidey) Don't push yourself too hard. How are the meds going?

Not bad, I seem to be more stable but still have bad days, I can cry again now.
I seem to be really chatty with strangers too, I hate talking to strangers.

I'm finding it easier to talk to strangers at the moment than talking to people I know- I think it's because they won't notice I seem off.

Hi can I join in? I used to have my own thread but things are more stable now so I don't have so much to say!

I have a diagnosis of BPD and I am doing DBT twice a week and I see my CPN every few weeks (how many acronyms can I fit in one sentence?)

I have recently changed meds and I think it is going ok, I can't sleep though which is frustrating.

I went back to work in May after 2.5 years off due to my MH problems and it is hard. I only work p/t but I feel crippled by worry sometimes, I have just lost all of my confidence. I wondered if anyone has any experience of going back to work after a long absence.

Hi fluffy. I remember your thread and often wonder how you are getting on. So pleased to see you are back at work. There are a few with similar experience re the work thing. Im just tentatively thinking about looking for a job. Its scary.

Hi LEM it is scary isn't it? I just feel so anxious about things and I am sure everyone hates me for asking for help all the time. It is a totally different job to what I did before and I am just finding it tough. I do enjoy being back at work in some ways, not being alone all day is nice and feel like I have a purpose. I just need to boost my self esteem and try to become more confident.

It is just hard to accept that all I can manage is working p/t in a low stress job, makes me feel like a failure.

Hi fluffy - i remember your thread too - im glad you are doing better - sounds like you have made a good recovery.

i only had 5 months off but i can relate to the feelings of insecurity and doubt, and lack of confidence. im still feeling that to some degree, but i think thats more to do with my colleagues and the job tbh....i have learnt to trust my own judgement more but its hard. people arent very supportive of mh issues in my job so im careful about what i say to who. Id say if you can find a mentor or one person who can confide in, i was given a "mentor" but tbh they couldnt give a shite, they were just doing as they were told so it didnt feel "real" and i couldnt really go to them with anything.
you might be luckier though.

I will be going for part time low stress. Really our mh is worth so much more than these jobs.

On that note. How is that going g something?

My colleagues are super nice, I am really lucky, they are so supportive and that has helped. It is just me, I have no self confidence at all. My CPN is doing this thing called compassionate mind that is supposed to help with it.

I know my MH is worth too much for me to get over stressed (which for me leads to ++ self harm and psychosis) but it is frustrating that this is my life. We are planning on TTC this year so I need to stay well and keep focused on recovery.

This reminds me why I'm so lucky to be a sahm, also lucky I have a ds who loves pyjama days and isn't keen on busy loud places.

Mil has been taken home, all tidied up, my pie came out amazing, tonight we're planning to eat copious amounts of junk food while we browse the internet for my new car and diet plans.
Dh has decided he desperately wants sex (it's been a while...he's usually not usually got much sexdrive) just a pity he will have to wait really, seriously I pestered him for sex all month and he finally wants it the day my period starts! Typical.
I am incredibly tired and drained it's been an exhausting day but I'm still struggling to sleep.

Good to see you "fluffy" and hello to everyone else. Seem to have reached some sort of equilibrium - you'll not know, fluffy that I was in for 3 weeks with hypomania last spring. First time not miserable and stressed beforehand - had just had a v v happy year - so went into depression afterwards coming to terms with it. And the 3 different pills I'm now on.

Sorry to hear that silvery I hope you are recovering now. What medication are you on? I am on aripriprazole and fluoxetine.

Good to see you silvery hope all is well

Evening all,

Mixed bag for me today, had to keep all the blinds closed and mostly stayed upstairs as I had a feeling of being watched- I wasn't, by the way.

Managed to give the cat's litter tray a deep clean and spot-cleaned the snake's tank & fed him. Need to do the degu's cage tomorrow then that's all the pets sorted.

Ordered food shop from Tesco to be delivered tomorrow, which gives me the push I need to give the living room a quick tidy in the morning- not much to do and the kitchen is already tidy.

I just hate feeling like I'm sitting at home doing nothing. I feel guilty.

Part of my problem is that I just feel so fat and unattractive too, have managed to lose a few pounds which is something.

I just want to get back to feeling like me again