summer heat - in the village we'll meet....oh, those summer nights! support for MH issues, depression, anxiety, what ever the issue come visit the village [titled edited by MNHQ]

[SomethingVicardThisWayComes]

well a well a well a oh tell me more tell me more.....

new thread guys....feels funny doing the threads again! but nice....

so. for any newbies....the purpose of the "village" threads is to support anyone with MH issues....depression, anxiety, anything at all, for what ever reason.

there is an open door policy in the village! so pull up a pew and get stuck in....

natasha - unless you have had other pms mine certainly wasnt sent to imply your are selfish.
you need help and i was reaching out to try and help because i have felt as you are feeling now. its passes with the right treatment.
i am not wanting you to leave the threads and certainly dont think you should delete your account - post here when ever it helps. i will shut up now and leave you alone - i do not want to stop you from posting at all and if thats what my pm did then im so sorry - it wasnt my intent at all. i just wanted to help and you sounded so sure of your decision - and of course it is your decision and no one elses. its just that decisions made when ill are often not made in clarity.
im sorry if i made you feel worse and i will not contact you again - but please do keep posting here. im sure people would like you to keep posting and talking. i know i certainly would and am feeling pretty awful that i have made you feel bad, if indeed it have.

you can de reg from the "my account" bit of your account.....but i do hope you will not do that.
stick around and just keep talking things through. you are not selfish at all. and the thread is here for this exact reason - its not exclusive, its open to all - what ever your state of mind or thoughts on what to do next.

i promise i will not pm you again - but please believe me when i say it was not my intention to upset your or make you feel worse. it was just to offer a hand and show you that you can come back from feeling as you are doing.

please dont go and just keep posting. i am sorry natasha if my pm upset you. i wont send any more. is that ok?

I've clicked the dereg link, you then get an email from MNHQ that you have to reply to for the account to be deleted. I've done that so I'm just waiting now.

natasha - no one will go hunting through you computer. i deal with deaths of all kinds professionally and i promise no one would go through your computer - so please dont de reg if thats the only reason you are doing it.

why not just keep chatting if it helps in any way?

Talking doesn't help, people just tell you you are ill and not to do it.

None of it matters anyway, I don't need to be told what an awful person I am to condemn people to suffer because of my death. I know I'm an awful person, that's why I have to die.

no one thinks you are an awful person natasha.
im going to stop talking now because everything i say you are mis interpreting.

good night.

I'm going to click away from this thread,too, as I'm feeling psychotic and a bit fragile. I'll keep reading and post when I'm feeling slightly better. Natasha, I really really hope that you get the help that you need in rl. I can only urge you to make the call, you sound very very low and you can phone 999 in this instance, as you are very unwell. I think you mat have reached the point where it's going to be very hard to reason with you online, and so I'd really really suggest that you go and get some help, immediately.

Something, are you feeling OK? I hope you are and that you aren't upset.

thanks katkins....im ok, upset yes, but ok. i feel i have made things worse when all i was trying to do was reach out and try to make things a bit better, i thought i should just shut up for a while as i was clearly not helping. if im honest ive found it a bit difficult because i remember feeling the same and im desperate to try and explain that with the right treatment it does pass.
ive had a fairly shite 2 weeks generally but am managing. ive had to deal with professionally with a suicide this week that was hard to work on. ive been sent to coventry by my colleagues regarding another matter (am now totally isolated) and tonight ds has phoned again with another problem for me to deal with. (he has SN) and i just couldnt cope. he was shouting at me and i got cross and shouted back. i ended up asking dh to call him and sort it out.
im trying to hang on to the fact that there are limits to what can be done via a thread on the internet. i like to think that these threads are supportive and loving, i selfishly use it to offload, and make some sense of what i feel when im having a bad spell, and for me reading that others are feeling the same makes me feel less alone. i just wish there was more i could to help natasha do but there isnt. its beyond me. natasha if you are still reading i do hope you can manage to make contact with someone in RL and i wish you nothing but love and luck.

i hope you are ok katkins? im relatively stable but have found the thread difficult tonight.

best try to get to bed, have got to move ds out of his flat tomorrow. will need some energy.

gnite x

You haven't made it worse, something, and yes, there is a limit as to what can be done. Natasha is perhaps a bit too vulnerable to just use this thread, and needs to seek some rl support-as we have all advised her several times. She needs to make that call herself, though. I hope you do if you are still reading, Natasha.

I've found it upsetting, too, because I think she is very unwell and its hard to see someone like that, but be powerless to do anything. I have also been feeling quite low myself, so I understand and empathise.I'm sorry about work, I have guessed your job, so I'm thinking it's routine to deal with suicides and there's no counselling?

It's good that your dh can deal with ds sometimes, too. I hope that he is supporting you in other ways, though I know how lonely depression gets.

I'm ok, psychosis giving me a bit of a bashing, but I've been distracting myself with music. Need to chat to my cpn really. I'll come back tommorow.

Best of luck, Natasha. I hope you get some help.

Hoping that everyone has a peaceful day today. Its my birthday and im dare i even say it. Happy???

This thread is our sanctuary. I need it just as much when im doing ok as when im struggling. Its the only place i can say my true feelings. It makes a difference. As does everyone here.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring? But it might, just might, be something nice. Even if it is just a cup of tea that comes out just right. Sometimes that is enough.

So, Co-op extra strength sleeping tablets work.

Happy Birthday LEM May your be exactly as you like it

I don't really know what else to say today x

happy birthday lem! x

Happy birthday!

Vic, which sleeping tablets are you using? I'm pre psychotic, but managing well, sleeping tablets will most likely stop it, I think.

They are the Co-op version of these: Nytol

They aren't on the co-op website, but it looks like most places do an own-brand "extra strength sleep aid" which is the same strength and active ingredient for a few quid less.

I took one about ten minutes before going to bed, lay awake for what felt like half an hour thinking "these tablets are rubbish, this hasn't worked" then blinked and it was 12 hours later

Oooh i will recommend those to my dd as she struggles with insomnia.

katkins they often have to see several episodes before giving a diagnosis.

We are all here for you, Natasha

I thought that, snowy. Am really struggling today, didn't sleep til 4am, and now my Dad is here, annoying me. I think I've got a lot of e-learning signs, do I'll phone my cpn on Tuesday if it carries on.

I feel steadier today after a good sleep last night, I think Friday night's crying session helped too.

Glad you feel a bit better, vic. I feel awful, as though I'm moving rapidly downhill and I have absolutely no one to speak with. It's been such a long time,and nothing is helping.

I feel so ashamed.
I gave in to sh today, years ago I used to cut, I refuse to go back to that but I woke up so down this morning I don't know what happened, I seemed to be starting to feel a bit ok, I went out for the day with ds and Dh last week and smiled a real spontaneous smile a couple of times which is progress but then I woke up this morning and int was like a cloud had fallen. I've spent all day close to tears and all my movements feel like I'm moving through treacle then when ds finally fell asleep for his nap I don't know why but I had my head in my arms at the table crying and then realised I was biting myself, my right forarm now has five horrible bruises on which I'll have to hide.
I just feel so stupid and ashamed of myself, it's not even as if it helped or made me feel any different except now my arm is sore and I'll have to wear long sleeves no matter how hot it is.
Going to go to bed in a min and just be alone for the night. Dh is mainly sleeping on the sofa now because I now apparently mutter and thrash in my sleep.

Happy Birthday lem!

Evening y'all.

Mind if I pop in? I've had a bit of a read and it seems like I've come in at a slightly sensitive time.

I've been out of hospital now for a whopping 5 weeks and am still a bit of a space cadet. Just had a letter from work saying may sick pay has run out, so I guess it's back to work, even though I still forget my children's names, make brews, forgetting to boil the kettle and get panicked writing a shopping list.

Running a department will be a piece of cake though, no?

Argh!

How are you all anyway? Have been meaning to show my face for a while, but getting back into the swing of being back at home has taken up all of my energy, which is why it's taken me so long.

Hello Keema, glad you are out. Are you feeling any better, it's still early days yet? Could you get some extra time off work if you need it?

Spidey, have you been to see your go; I think you should go back.