If you're going through hell, keep going

[Pare]

Hi, thought I might try another thread as I've missed having somewhere to offload. Thanks for all the support on the other one, I have saved it and removed certain posts so that I can look at it when I need something to focus on.

I went to the meeting with the manager of the Crisis Team tonight and it was really difficult even though he accepted that they had got things wrong. He said I have to keep attending or they will have me assessed under the Mental Health Act. I don't really trust them though and it is going to be really hard. He suggested meeting with the nurse who I saw on Monday, and with him, to try and talk it through and come to an understanding. I don't know if that will be too much.

Is that cognitive analytic therapy? Interesting, that could be really good. Let's hope the wait won't be as long as for CBT, I'm not sure either that you will have to start waiting from the start again. They are obviously considering the case and deciding what is the best treatment path to try.

Sorry you feel so bad right now. Please try to take each day as it comes, or each minute as it comes, and do whatever nice things you can for yourself. Keep going, I know the process is long and wearing but there is hope for you in this life for a future in which you'll feel much better.

Yes, Cognitive Analytic Therapy. After our conversation last week he didn't think CBT was the correct therapy so discussed it with a counsellor.

Sounds like you are in a queue for more NHS therapy than the usual 6 weeks of cbt so may be worth the wait.

The letter said it would be expedited due to the severity of my PTSD symptoms so I should hear in the New Year. Crisis team keep calling my phone whilst I'm at work. I recognise the number in my missed call log. They don't leave a voicemail so no idea why they are after me.

Great you got offer of crisis team support. Why not ring them back in lunch break or after work? Might help your queue be shorter for CAT?

It's not a number you can call back, just a recorded message telling you not to worry and they will be in touch again.

I haven't been referred to them as far as I know so not sure why they are calling.

Went to see my GP again today, he said he can't do anything else for me. He didn't want me to tell him about the rape as he said he's not the right person to tell. I'd screwed up a lot of courage to say the words but he didn't want me to say them so I didn't. I don't know why I thought that telling anyone was a good idea.

I feel so alone and I just want to go to sleep.

Did you return calls to crisis team and did they help? Or could you contact them now?
Sadly most Gp are not experts in many areas of health, which is why they refer on - as apart from medication and referral there is not much they can do in a ten minute slot. Hope your specialist referral comes through soon now holidays are over.
Have you contacted charities linked to your condition as they will have trained people you could talk to, who have supervision and expertise?

Last appointment he said I could tell him if I wanted, but he's right that I shouldn't tell anyone. I've just got to try and get it all back in the box.

I can't call the crisis team as the number doesn't accept incoming calls.

If you want to "tell someone" then I imagine a charity specialising in it is still an idea. Gp's cannot give the time to help people by listening sadly with this "ten minute" appointment system.

Sorry forgot most areas do not give people access to crisis - they do not here either. But any gp or out of hours go or walk in centre gp can refer anyone they think needs it to the crisis team - so you have 24hr option of getting someone to refer you ( may take a few hours to see an out of hour go using 111 but they are just as able to phone to refer a patient as anyone else).

Would you consider a private counsellor who does trauma work or listening style therapy or whatever you are thinking will help you? There are kits of trained counsellors - I recently looked on the BACP website for my area and there were pages. Private psychiatrists and private psychologists charge more and are less common.