"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

[LollipopViolet]

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

collar I would give it a bit of time before you start thinking too much about your next job. It's a tremendous relief when you finally do it, yes, and you need to give yourself some time to convalesce, take stock a little, and enjoy life. :)

I am feeling less anxious, still maybe a bit fuzzy. And boy is it hot!

(Brain will explode if I try to reply to more than one person, I'm afraid)

Silvery - thanks for your words of wisdom, and you are quite right, I can probably afford 1/2 months off pay, and will use that time exactly as you suggested! It is positive to read in your post that you are feeling less anxious :)

The weather is set to cool slightly now over the weekend, which to many of us will be a good thing!

Victrix - your post was short and sweet, but are you ok?

Well this thread is almost reaching the 1000 mark! There has been much great support in the village this summer :)

do we have a new thread yet guys?

Thinking of everyone lots. Like lem school hols here and its busy - but mostly good, so not sure I'll be able to post as often as I'd like....

take care all

Hi all just checking in. Having a rough day, as I didn't take my meds yesterday (my pnr ones) and slept for about two hours the whole night. Kept having flashbacks to my physcotic episode, and some stuff is still going on. It's taking a while to adjust.

I went out on my bike today, but I got confused and really disorientated. Yet another thing I used to love but can't do :( Feeling really down with depression and all the physcial side effects that go with pyschosis.

I was talking with a friend who's a MH advocate the other day, and we agreed that having a psychotic episode would make the sanest person depressed, as it were! It's a life happening, a misfortune like many others which happen to have nothing to do with mh.

Instead, there is a danger that MH professionals pathologise the depression. Like that link way back, there is pressure to be at least in a stable okish mood.

What is nothing to do with mh, pyschotic episode? Did I read that right (I'm very tired, sorry!)

I had severe depression before it, silvery, and what I now know are symptoms of physcosis for at least 18 months. The mh proffesionals seem to think I'm 'making it up' in some way though. If you scrolled through my threads on here, would so see the track of it. I started off depressed/ self-harming in November/December...ended up realy, really depressed and told to get help- was severely sucidial all through my last semester at uni (Jan-May) and started having some bits of pyscosis. Hearing voices and seeing things, paranio, de ja-vu, two hours sleep a night...all things I know aren't right now. My friends kept urging me to get help, but stupidly, I didn't. By the time I did get anti-depressants it was too late, and I was already having hallucinations. I guess I'd say my full blown out of it episode happened for about 7 weeks (since May), but there was underlying stuff since before that, and the depression was the type with physcial symptoms. That seems (slightly) better, but I'm still not right.

I'm struggling with day to day stuff, and making sense of my experience, really. It's so hard.

Just checking in - after 8 wonderfully good days, the dark cloud of depression has descended today and since the meds change the bad days are worse both in terms of duration and intensity. I often don't get any lift till about 10 at night, and sometimes none at all. I've lost faith in the meds and in everything really - feeling utterly defeated.

Sorry for the self absorbed "victim" post - I should be glad that I do get good days. I know there are so many people worse off than me, but my tolerance seems to be diminishing. I do consider myself fortunate that this mental illness didn't hit me when my kids were young (as I know a lot of you are coping with MH problems and young children) don't know how you do it......can barely cope with the cats!

Sending good wishes to everyone and sorry for being a moaning old moo cow.......

((Nana)). I'm a cat lady too (see from my name!). I currently only have one and she drives me bonkers, especially in this heat because she doesn't know what she wants!!

And it's not a 'victim' post. You are going through something very real. How are your meds going?

katkins sorry - I used to be depressed, then ended my marriage. Since then I've been happy - until suddenly I went hypomanic and was admitted to hospital. It was only 3 weeks but since my discharge I've been all over the place - depressed, then anxious. All I meant was that in my case some sort of being depressed about what had just happened, was kind of normal.

I have had 2 episodes of severe depression, thankfully they are long in the past, I remember those times now fairly clearly, but in a detached way.

In no way was I belittling anyone's problems - I can see how it could be read that way.

(((( all ))))

I find I get depressed after an episode too.

I'm sorry you feel defeated, NN, it must be a horrible place to be.

I'm really tired, I think I read things differently when I'm shattered. I guessed at what you meant, but I've not really been out (anywhere) and have still felt really stigmatised. By friends, and the mental health team. It's my first physctic episode, and I've had nothing explained to me at all. Not by the medical team, anyone really. Am I right in guessing, sorry if I'm wrong, you have bi-polar? I think, as you can see from my post, it's been really complex and they are having trouble diagnosing me. Which s quite frustrating for me- I'd like to try and make sense of it. My episode was, I think, quite depressive, as in , I had really severe depression that kept building...I think the episode just pre-occupied me for a bit!

Ah well it's 12.45 a.m. and I'm still up as you can see! Thing is my depression didn't start lifting till about 9 or even 10, and so I stop up late because it's good to feel like "me" again, and if I sleep in late it doesn't matter as it will in all probability be another bad day (very rarely get a single one - usually 4,5,6 or so in a row) and so it will make the day shorter. DP goes out with the ramblers all day on Sunday so I will be on my own, which makes it a bit more difficult, though I'm so glad he has some respite from me!

Vicar can I call you that rather than something - thanks for telling us about the AA meeting - really interesting and very brave of you to go into a room of strangers, but you said that didn't bother you. Why don't you choose the new title in the time honoured tradition!!

Pulledapart I can't remember all of your post and I'll lose this if I try to trawl back onto another page, but I know you are worried about your DD being on holiday for 6 weeks and how you will cope. Are you a single parent and how old is your DD. Are there any play schemes where she could spend some of her time if she's old enough. Do you have RL support - sorry if I've asked you all this before.

Sorry you're still struggling Katkins - it must be frustrating that you don't have a conclusive diagnosis yet, but I do wonder if you are maybe worrying too much about the psychotic episode and who believes this happened and who doesn't. There is only you who can know how you feel and that's what's important. I do know that when depression gets very severe it is possible to have a psychotic episode and maybe this is what happened to you.

Silvery hello......hope things will settle for you soon - one day at a time as we have to say to ourselves............

Snowy Glad you managed to go to the day hospital and I think you did some pottery which sounded like a good thing to do. Was it less daunting than you had feared. How often are you expected to go?

Ah well off to bed now - sending warm wishes to everyone.

I'm going three times a week, NN It's very difficult to be there. I'm sorry the depression is hitting you so hard at the moment.

katkins and all, I hope you got some sleep last night.

Something I'm really sorry I mentioned your old username and I do hope I haven't done any harm. It was stupid of me because I knew the reason you needed to change.

Snowy 3 times a week is heavy going, but hope you can manage it. Am fair bit better today thanks.

I'm glad you feel better, NN Long may it continue.

Glad that you feel better Nana. And Snowy, three times a week sounds heavy going as nana says, how are you feeing about it all?

Nana, I don't know why but being believed seems incredibly important to me...I was quite severely bullied at University (as I might have said) and had nearly aspect of my personality pulled apart. I was told that everyone goes through stuff, I'm negative all of the time and it's draining on others, that I shouldn't say or do certain things, that it was frustrating for others when I got good grades, that I was attention seeking, that I didn't deserve an extension when my Grandfather died (I had three weeks extra on my thesis), I was talked about on social media, people used to sigh when I asked/answered questions so I stopped, was left out of groups and all sorts of stuff. Looking back, some of it was because I was ill, but I have a fixtation on people thinking that I'm 'making it up'.

I've not been feeling very well at all today just want to cry and cry, managing to get through the day, but I just want to crawl back into bed. I walked to the shop and had a strange disembodied feelingI felt weightless and dizzy.....I thought there was a spider on my hair (a giant one as per usual), and tried to brush it away. In my head I keep saying 'please no, just no, not the start of another episode'. Last night, I took anti pyscotics and a sleeping tablet, so I'm putting it down to that. My heart is racing and I feel breathless. I don't want another episode like the last one- I'm meant to be being discharged by home treatment tommorow, so I've decided to keep quiet and put it down to a one off, then if it carries on, do something about it. It might just be because I took the meds, and I'm feeling anxious about being assesed and everything.

The out of hours people have just been and gone, and said to call them if necessary. I think it's a compromise, katkins, some people go every day. I can't stand certain activities, so avoiding them (e.g. creative writing, I just sit there).

That sounds horrible, katkins - people shouldn't behave like that.

Good luck with your assessment tomorrow - I always struggle with some of the questions, that's the other tricky thing about the day hospital, they always do an assessment every day. How do you find assessments?

I'm thinking about chinese takeaway later (but might try not to, depends how I feel later).

Oh, I love creative writing (am a performance poet in RL); but I can understand why you'd feel left out/not enjoy. Can you ask for a different activity?

I'm being discharged tommorow, so I'm reluctant to 'rock the boat' as it were by bringing up new stuff. I don't think my episode is over; but I'm learning what to do when pyschosis flares up, and how to best manage it. I think you might understand what I mean there- there's stuff that you will always feel, some more on certain days than others, and stuff that needs to be reported asap. I think it's about finding a personal line, though, and because it's my first experiences, I tend to panic. I'm being discharged on Monday, then oupatient Thursday, so not long between and I might be able to chat about meds and stuff more then. I think I might benefit from longer term anti physcotic medication, not just pnr, because it messes with everything if I take as needed. When I feel stuff coming on now, I just do something to distract myself and try not to panic- easier said than done though!

nana - its fine, dont worry...at soome point i will probably revert back to vicar....they dug the dirt and found what htey wanted - nothing more they can do really is there! if they want to waste their time spying on the mother of an ex employee then crack on i say....

.if there isnt a new thread ill start one then...give me a min to think.....

linky to new thread!