"Summer is Coming, the Village is warm and safe - support for depression, anxiety and other MH issues"

[LollipopViolet]

New thread, everyone :) First attempt at a thread title for us.

I've just posted on the old one, am really struggling today. Was feeling numb, still do, to be honest. Need to get myself through today.

Wow, glad I'm not the only newbie! This looks like a great thread for support and company. I'm so chuffed to have found it.

Hi NanaNina - I'm back onto Sertraline now. I was originally diagnosed with PND after the birth of DD2 almost three years ago, but it's since been changed to a giant bipolar bombshell. So the psych took me off the sertraline and started me on another AD with a look for mood stabilisers, etc. , but I won't go into details in case anyone is starting it and feeling nervous! It was totally the wrong choice and screwed me right over and now I'm even worse than I was at the original breakdown.

So I dug out my old sertraline, which worked in its own right, and I'm starting back on that again. Hopefully it will help with this new anxiety (crippling physical symptoms!) as well.

...finds a dark slimy rock in the corner of the village and lurks under it...

Thanks for the new thread Violet, that's good news about the counselling, not so great that you're struggling today. Hope things look better tomorrow.

Nice to hear your event was good snowy. Think it's pretty normal to feel a bit low after something like that especially if it was an effort to get there! (Did your chair get fixed in the end?)

Good luck at work tomorrow MP and remember the suncream next time!

How are you feeling NN? I've no idea how long it usually lasts for but hope it clears up soon. Ramble away if you want. No one minds!

LEM hope you're coping ok, you do sound like you are a wonderful friend. Will you not have check-ups for a while? I was told to cut out/down the alcohol as it can really affect you so it's likely it could have affected you, especially if you've not had any in a while.

Hope you're ok DD and TSP and anyone else I've forgotten. Welcome to all the newcomers.

Definitely second the feeling low after something good- had a lovely meal out with DP's parents last night (he'd booked a booth in a quiet restaurant so I could hide in the corner) it was tough but nice. Got home, couldn't sleep and absolutely burst today as a result.

Lots of cute baby sparrows in the garden though and a big floofy baby woodpigeon.

I'm starting melatonin tomorrow, hopefully will mean I have enough energy through the day. Fluoxetine has helped a lot though, I just feel quite numb a lot of time, not loads of extremes.

Someone please tell me how to calm down. I feel sick and shaky and am petrified I'm going to do/say something wrong. I have to be at the bank in an hour to ask if they will give us a mortgage. MIL was very kind and insisted that FIL looks after the kids for me so they don't have to go into a drop off child care place, but I'm now running around trying to make the place FIL presentable instead of re-reading the banking things...

You will calm down by the time you get to the bank TUL, the rush and faff before hand wont give you time to get in a panic. Sometimes you just have to get your head down and do. Are you getting a mortgage with your 'D'H?

Thanks lem. Am on a bench half way to bank. FIL here with the kids, they are beyond excited! Yes, getting it with DH. His dream flat! Not so practical but by far best option for schools. A few mundane bank jobs to do first, then to beg! Had an incident at the weekend with DH, I realise I completely misread him (posted on chat...reeling a bit). Must go. You ok today?

Oh good luck! Glad you are feeling better about your DH. Dream flat, wow, that sounds exciting.

How is everyone doing today?

Hi All - can I join? Making some big decisions this week and have to put plans in place to make them happen. Tipped into my 5th major depressive episode in 12 years - and now suffering poor physical health due to my repeated depression (High BP, repeated chest infections, chronic back ache) and learning to come to terms with the fact that I am "wired this way" and need to up my ADs again and seriously readjust my work life balance.

I need to step away for 2years from my very demanding full time role in a big company to manage my 4 kids (one with MH issues) thru their teenage years and major exams.....requires house move, down sizing etc...husband dragging feet - anxious about money -- but I need the strength to focus on what I need to do for us all.

Was told to take last week off by my boss as I was exhausted and emotional....was due back today but have just sent a note saying I am taking another weeks leave and will keep an eye on email etc.

Need to use this week to build a plan -- deal with the details of money etc to down size - but its hard when your brain is spaghetti - I am worrled that if I dont control the situation - it will implode - I will be sacked our house will be repossessed - feel I need to get ahead of the storm....sorry to ramble.

You're not rambling deepest and it makes perfect sense. It's going to need to be a joint decision with your DH though, isn't it? Sounds like he might feel hard done by and worried about carrying all of the financial burden alone. Could you make the first step to move house and downsize and then rhink about cutting down hours/changing job?

Yes we need to do this jointly. He is a very passive, placid person who doesnt plan ahead - and I think that he is hoping that this will go away as it has 4 times before - and normal service will be resumed. However -- each time it gets worse/deeper and the impact on the family gets worse and worse....I have asked him to help me work thru the finances - but he is an avoider, drags his heels, never engages and it never gets sorted. I think that I might go to see a financial advisor to get an objective view of options....

It is sensible to do it in the order you suggest -- but I feel so strung out juggling work and family - that I feel I will implode

Morning all. Hi deepest. I've also got some massive issues to deal with this week. I've been writing lists. It's really helped me focus on what's important and needs dealing with immediately.

I've a child protection meeting today and I'm shitting myself frankly. I don't know what to expect. I never in a million years thought I would be in this position. I'm gutted.

Hope it goes well today wipedout and you feel you have been heard and said what needed to be said (I've not had experience of it, but can imagine I'd be feeling desperate. Deep breaths. Count to ten. Leave the gutter on ground. Telling self postitive things.)

hello thanks everyone for the support yesterday and apologies for being such a misery guts. welcome all new people- lots!

Feeling a bit better today despite only having 3hrs sleep.

in the interest of learning something new ever day nana some people have died from overdose of my SSRI alone...think they found out that they weren't as safe as first thought. Knowing me that wouldn't happen though I would just end up with no tablets!! Suppose there aren't many suicide options available to people too scared of seeing people to leave the house I've been on them for nearly 4 years now...I've just got over the side effects and all!! I agree with you about feeling guilty for not being happy when the sun's shining. It's like it's the law- the sun's out- cheer up. You're not alone.

Ended up calling the samaritans after exh came over and took kids back again. They were really useful- what a godsend. Now I've ended up feeling more cross at my situation rather than sad which at least is a more energetic type of negative energy. Not very Buddhist/mindful though but hey.

yes wipedoutmammy lots of floaty sleeves...bloomin difficult to find long sleeved garments though that aren't black so now have a sewing machine to try and make things instead. A local shop does red skull lace....when I get out of the house I think I might have to try and make something that has lacey arms as I'm sick of looking like I'm going to a funeral/dressing in things that make me feel like a teabag. I have camouflage cream as well...but not had the confidence to go out wearing just that on my arms.

Have been a bit more productive- waiting for benefits people to phone back. I've also booked an appointment with a solicitor to get the divorce process rolling as I feel that it would be helpful to get some closure on things. I'm going to have to pay what to me is quite a lot of money, but I feel it should be worth it.

Good luck wipedout

Welcome all the new people

Glad you're feeling better fluffy. Wish I was capable enough on the sewing machine to make my own clothes! Mine only really comes out for emergency alterations and crafty moments.

Hopes and best wishes to you wipedout.

Hello to everyone old and new, I'm joining you on the sunburnt front mp!

Good weekend but last couple of busy weeks have caught up with me today - treacle is back and I'm back flat out on the sofa.

Take care all. Will try and catch up properly soon - the village is busy!

I'm worried, I haven't been able to get hold of a friend for 3 days, she od'd earlier this week and I'm worried she has again.

Hi all, sorry to join your group and run yesterday, I didn't seem able to post more due to either my boys or my mam being here.

Reading through all your posts my problems and feelings seem very trivial - last time i went to see my gp I didn't even qualify for ad's but I don't know where else to turn for some support from people who understand what its like. I struggle with low moods and anxiety, but last week was terrible due to ds1 (13) being bullied at school (along with various other issues) my brother and I went into school and had a meeting and I was very happy with the measures they were going to take ie meetings with the boys parents, internal exclusion and rearranging timetables to keep them apart. Only, one of the boys mother's saw fit to wait for me to collect my other boys from a different school and had a go at me. Some of the things she said were very personal and untrue and it was totally inappropriate for her to shout about them in the street. However, the exclusion ends today and the boys are back with the rest of the school tomorrow and I am crapping myself at what might happen to ds1 tomorrow, I feel sick to the stomach just thinking about what he might walk into. I was thinking about it in bed last night and I think I had a panic attack maybe? My heart was pounding and I was breathless. I feel as though im trying to do whats right for my boys but I'm being treated like we are the ones in the wrong.

I also feel as though I have a constant knot in my stomach and the thought of leaving the house makes me nervous :(

Again, I know many of you have it far worse than I do, but I really need to get things off my chest x

Snowy i really hope your friend is ok x

Phew, just heard from her. Thanks all.

Back to work

All went well, nobody pointed and laughed and I had a fairly uncomplicated caseload. Getting up at 6.30 was a nightmare mind you.

Glad your day went well, mp

Good night all.

Hello can I join you all?

I have suffered from anxiety for the last 13 years (well to be honest probably my whole life but I didn't have too much trouble in my teens - too much drama to have time to think ). Anyway I had my first panic attack in 2001 and thought I was dying. Since then I have suffered from health anxiety. I have "had" the following diseases:-

HIV, throat cancer, breast cancer (many times), oral cancer, motor neurone disease, pancreatic cancer, heart failure... the list goes on.

I also just overthink all the little things that happen health wise - the odd twinge, a cut, banging my head - and assume the worst case scenario (i.e. death).

I have been in talk therapy for 7 years - it helped a lot at first and I think I know where it all comes from but it hasn't stopped it long term. I did CBT for a little while but it was an online one and my PC had some issues so I never finished it. I tried sertraline for a couple of weeks but since I was drinking everyday I thought it was a waste of time as the GP said the booze would counteract it.

I stopped drinking and smoking at the start of this year and unfortunately it has made me worse (I was drinking about 4-6 units a night prior to this for a few years). I am finding it a bit overwhelming. I used to have bad episodes that would last a few months then I would be almost back to normal for about 6 months. It also used to be at it's worst in winter. Now it is all the time. My sleep is awful as I have strange sensations like dizziness or stopping breathing or weird electric shock feelings in my head as I drift off which wakes me up with a start. This happens many times a night so I am tired which makes it worse the next night. I have weird attacks when I am out sometimes where I start shaking and my heart races. I obsess over stupid things like a mosquito bite thinking it will get infected and I will die. It is pretty relentless.

Funnily enough most people have no idea - I give off a great air of being confident and happy at all times. Anyone I have told is always quite shocked as I seem "so together".

I have a wonderful life (usual ups and downs but nothing awful), family and friends. I have nothing to worry about really. So why can't I bloody stop thinking something bad is going to happen to me?

I saw my new GP last week and he has put me on beta blockers. To be honest I was in a rush as I had the kids with me and didn't go into detail of the type of anxiety I have. It's my thoughts that do my head in the most not the heart racing. A lot of the time I don't feel physically anxious just mentally so if that makes sense? There is OCD in my family so that might be part of the reason.

I wanted anti-d's. Last time I took sertraline I felt better straight away and had no real side effects. Ok that might have been placebo effect but it is better than how i feel now!

I feel a bit weird going and saying I want this particular drug - like I am a junkie or something and they will turn me down!

Anyway sorry that was long but it is good to let it all out. I find it hard to talk to anyone as people don't understand and I hate feeling 'weak'.