Citalopram day 11

[alicemac83]

Hi,
I've been on citalopram 10mg for 11 days. The first 5 we're hideous, I was so low I was almost suicidal- then the following 4 we're amazing- I felt like myself again. Only just as I started to relax I've had 2 days of feeling anxious, lacking motivation and being very irritable. I'm so disappointed as I really thought I had my life back. Over the weekend I had my dd on my own as dh was away so I think that made me tense. Should I increase my meds or hope this is just a blip? Xxx

What happens when you've been taking them a while, and you realise that actually it's your personality that is shouty and vile, not the anxiety? I don't know if I could stand that, and it wouldn't be fair on DH to have to put up with that forever...

What I found Depleted was that the things that used to make me shout didn't any more. I could just deal with it without shouting.

I'm just worried that actually I'm not a nice person. Tablets won't make any difference to that, if I'm essentially quite horrible naturally.

Depleted, I'm positive you are not a horrible person, your lack of confidence in yourself is just a symptom of this horrible illness. When you start feeling better you'll see that. It's horrible when you feel so down that you don't recognise yourself anymore, but you'll get there I am sure! X

YY Depleted. THe citalopram takes the rough edges off and makes you feel capable again.

I have quite a lot of rough edges! I don't know how quickly this stuff works, but hopefully soon

It's different for everyone but I noticed a difference after a week, and now 2 weeks in I'm feeling more myself. I'm expecting dips but I think I can deal with them now. X

How is everyone this morning? Depleted, did you sleep any better? I've just got to my desk and feeling ok-ish... always feel low/anxious in the mornings though. x

Hi Trueworrier, that's so good to hear - I'm so glad you're feeling better! It's nice to know there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Thanks for posting such a postive message! X

I hope so! I'm looking forward to the mornings where I wake up without feeling nervous and wondering how the day is going to turn out. I'm also looking forward to not being envious of others around me who I assume have 'normal,' 'happy' lives xx

Reading this thread through tears. I've just started citalopram today (10mg). I'm now really worried about the side effects. I'm gutted I need these meds at all (which is so stupid as I'd never dream of judging anyone else?!)
I'm just so anxious, feel flat, ache, tiredness is ridiculous, can't make decisions and yes it took me ages to type that and I'm still crying!
I'm a bit pathetic really aren't I?! Please tell me it gets better.

wolfiefan, this is such a hard time, you are right at the beginning and it seems like an impossible road. I was exactly the same as you. I'd had PND years ago and thought I'd never feel like that again, so to suddenly feel it coming back was a devastating shock. I never thought I'd get through, but now I'm on day 15 and back at work. On days 1-5 I was on the sofa thinking my life was over while my poor mum and dad tried to comfort me. YOU WILL GET THERE! X

Thank you so much. I haven't managed to admit how I feel in RL (obviously told GP)
At the moment I don't feel like me and I don't see myself ever being able to work again.

You will. This is exactly how I felt just a week and a half ago. Is there anything else you can try? I'm starting counselling soon as I think I've got underlying issues resulting from the PND that I need to sort out in my mind. x

wolfie, you must be my twin - I'm on day 4 and I was exactly like you. I thought I would never need anything like this, and I'm struggling with the side effects at the moment - I didn't get much sleep last night - but I'm sure it will get better. We are all in the same boat, none of us are silly - just need a bit of help right now.

How is everyone feeling this morning? I'm on day 16 and having my usual morning slump...

When I was still having morning slumps (I felt like a totally different person at 7am than I did at 7pm) the GP upped my dose.

I think I probably need to up mine - I'm still on 10mg. I can cope, it's just that I feel quite unhappy in the mornings and feel lonely and odd at work surrounded by happy people. I put a brave face on and pretend I'm fine but really I feel horrible. Normally, By around lunchtime I feel much better and the evenings are good. but as soon as bedtime comes I get a feeling of dread because I know I've got another morning coming up...

I remember it well Alice. I used to make arrangements for the next day when I was having a good evening then wake up and think I don't want to go.

Time to check with GP I think. x

Yep, I've got an appointment on Weds. I just don't want the extreme anxiety to come back, so I'm thinking of maybe increasing to 15mg to start with. I'm trying to look on each day as a postive, in that I feel so much better than I did at the start.