DH back to work on Tuesday. How do I recruit daytime nanny part-time 4 till 7.30 pm. Baby 3 weeks. DD 5 years.

[Katiejon]

Title says it all!
Any agencies to avoid in London?
I live in Hendon NW4.

We also used Eden

Hi.
Took dd to ballet 2day by cab and later went 4 a v short walk.
Feel better but tearful.
Psych tomorrow and ok with medication.
I shouldn't burst into tears when confronted by dd homework, is under 7 years old!
Dh looking after baby.

Well done Katie! Hope today goes ok with the psych. When I had PND brushing teeth was a major chore so a ballet lesson and homework is a great achievement.

Hi. Update: Mum coming in from 11am, so I can sit down more.
Am walking like Mrs Overall (Acorn Antiques).
Prescribed Prozac.
DH said no point working Saturday if spending money on nanny! Result!
Big thank u to all those supporting me who helped me realise HE is being unreasonable, not me being lazy or pampered!
SPD pain worse than csection.

'DH said no point working Saturday if spending money on nanny! Result!'

Result indeed.

Fabulous.... He is on charge on Saturday!

fab news about dh - nice tbh that he spends some time with his kids :)

now he just needs to do every other night for you so you both get a good nights sleep every other night iyswim

did you hear back from agencies?

Have found a nurse on personal recommendation. Ex paediatric nurse.
Need her cv and to checks refs.
Shall I move/start thread in mental health? Answers on a postcard.....

Told psych and dh not sure if suicidal or not but at end of tether.
Again, thank u all 4 strengthening me 2 stand up to dh.

So glad you're feeling better Katie!

Really positive move forward, well done Katie. Onward and upward. x

Feeling better cos ap able to feed, change & burp baby.
SPD flared up after going out.

Northern, Thurlow & Parsnip (and others), thank u for reporting comments and/or defending me.
Very pleased they were deleted b4 I read them.
Trying to read thread thru to act on positive comments/advice.

I don't have time to read the thread but if you are in a city- you are- students are brilliant for the timescales you need. Suggest you look at those on teaching courses or health related courses.

Worked well for us in the past. I have to say they were better than a lot of the NNEB ones we came across.

Hi all.
Much calmer on Prozac and feeling better as csection healing.
Nanny on Sat was wonderful.
AP doing more childcare.
Am still only sleeping 3 hours at a time at the most, and so tired not sure if asleep or awake!
Have told dh checking refs of night nurse and will book her for 1 nite, or he can feed at 12 and 4 am, an hour each time, for 5 weeks straight.

Please don't post on this thread if you are going to attack me.

You need to look after yourself in order to look after your children. Especially as your DH is clearly not pulling his weight on the homefront.

I would make a list of the things that need doing, and ask him which ones he is able to take over. If he doesn't pick any, I'd choose for him. For example, he could hire and manage a cleaner whilst you hire and mange the childcare. He could identify which nights he will be on parent duty. Two nights per week seems reasonable if he is working.

You are not the first woman to have small children and a husband who doesn't take his share of the responsibility. But, knowing that others have travelled before you, doesn't make your path any easier.

Remember to take care of yourself so that you can take care of your children.

Nanny coming when dh working on sat.
Have also found ex nurse as nite nurse. Good references.
Feeling stronger so able to properly supervise ap, who is good with kids but lazy with housework!

Till June.
Will have 2 treat her as an ignorant teenager!
Knows what 2 do but lazy.
Ok to stay cos good with children.
Can think much clearer now.

Ap not going to get a good reference though!

I don't want you to feel I'm attacking you however I do think its unfair not to give au pair good reference. I so wish the whole au pair thing was regulated in the UK so people had better expectations. They should be used as a big sister/brother and not responsible for cleaning beyond very light duties. As you say she's good with children so maybe say positives like that especially if you are keeping her on until June which means she really can't be that bad.

Glad things are under more control for you.

Hi wishywashy.
Will be good ref saying good with children, but will think carefully about cleaning reference.
She has asked 2 go home for her mum's birthday beginning Feb, didn't tell me until after she arrived.
I made it very clear to her and the agency that csection end of October and that's why I needed an ap.
Agency said is entitled to holiday, so I have to allow her to go, a great inconvenience to me!
Moreover, she didn't do much while I was in hospital for 5 days, I could tell, dirty floors, mucky bathroom.
Also, she will only do her hours if she is supervised.
Lazy teenager, but good with kids.

She has no right to dictate her holidays. I'm afraid I think you are letting her walk all over you. You are the employer here and you need to take control of the situation.

This is a separate topic to this thread. I think you should start a new concerning your au pairs performance, you expectations, and how best to address when she doesn't meet them. However, be prepared for some strong comments (as often happens on these threads). Start with the job description, and get a feel for whether or not it is reasonable. Then address whether her performance is reasonable for an uapair, and then consider how best to manage the situation.

Right now it sounds as though you are unhappy (probably she is too), and it is not going to end well. You have a lot going on with new baby, existing child, not so helpful DH... you need rock solid childcare and household help to support you so you can be strong and provide for your children.

In my experience au pairs are easier to control / replace than husbands. So get that one sorted first.