Just started on Citalopram

[Nanabana]

Have read old threads about side affects and quite worrying, but will give it a go. Hope it kicks in soon

[Nanabana]

Good luck Pudding and MrsShrek.
Mechanical - glad you're feeling better, so am I.

I have spent the last 2 years not getting anything done! But I feel like and am hoping that I'm turning a page.. feeling a bit more focused, less scared of digging myself out of the layers of stuff that has piled on top of me. Dare I say it... I feel a bit motivated

[ColouringInQueen]

Hi everyone, day nine of fluoxetine and improving a bit now. My GP lowered my dose as the side effects were proving unbearable which def helped. I've upped it to 15mg this morning so we'll see how that goes. Am really hoping these help. Have managed to get kids to school in snow and put a load of washing on, so have now returned to the sofa and some Matthew Wright Hope everyone's hanging in there this morning x

[Nanabana]

Nice one Colouringin

[Nanabana]

my concentration levels are so so bad, I set out very well this morning, but my thoughts just go to everything else but work! Worrying about the future, worrying about decisons made, when really I should be worrying about keeping my job!

[ColouringInQueen]

I know what you mean. It's very hard to keep unwanted thoughts under control. Are you at work now? I am now less good - walked into town into supermarket but felt more and more exhausted and anxious on walk home and back feeling horrible. Not quite sure what to do now - urge to retreat under duvet is v strong!

[Nanabana]

yes am at work... shouldn't be on MN!
Hope you feel better, dive under the duvet if it makes you feel better!

[MechanicalTheatre]

OK, I have actually made it to a lecture today. So that's good. Got quite a full week and I just feel drained but will battle through. At least the anxiety has gone a little bit.

Does anyone else do mindfulness or meditation? I did a course on it last year and it did really help at the time, so I've been trying to get back into it again.

[Nanabana]

That's great Mechanical. Not done meditating. I did start reading The Power of Now, I can see the benefits of it.

[MrsShrek3]

thanks Nana
Im only on 10mg for starters it goes up to 20 next week.

[Geeklover]

That's me on day 6 now.
First few days were awful. I wasn't sleeping great anyway but this was bad. Tonight for the first time in ages I'm struggling to stay awake.

One thing I did notice over the weekend is a while after I take a tablet and only for a few hours I feel a bit odd. Not physically odd just a bit well numb I guess. Was trying to describe it to my friend it's for an hour or do after taking a tablet I feel no emotion whatsoever. I noticed it on Sunday for the first time.
Sad as it sounds I actually quite like it. It's better than the feeling I currently have when I wake up.

[Nanabana]

Had a shocking morning, had a strict deadline which I haven't had in ages, I was flushed, panicked, flustered, but nearly there now. I feel so incompetent, have lost the ability to deal with things that previously i was able to.. hopefully this is all good practice to me returning to my former self

[Nanabana]

My heart is still actually pounding, what the hell is wrong with me?! I had to go to the bathroom, and try to compose myself, this is ridiculous

[ColouringInQueen]

Deep breaths Nana classic (rubbish) anxiety symptoms (says she who's been heavy breathing half the morning). Hope you're feeling better now and deadline is behind you. take care.

[Nanabana]

Thanks ColourinIn.. still not finished what I'm meant to have finished because I have to rely (annoy) other people for information.. I am being persistent (brave?) though and I am chasing them down for their responses.. I am nearly there with it.. and I know i'll be relieved once it's done, just can't wait for that feeling.

[Nanabana]

and hope you've stopped heavy breathing too :)

[Geeklover]

Hope you made it through the rest of the day unscathed nana.
It's the anxiety that gets me too. I'm usually an out and about person but I'm finding I'm do anxious about things I'd much rather just be at home. The getting ready to go anywhere is so exhausting.

[ColouringInQueen]

Yes I'm finding the anxiety this week much harder. Trying to psych myself to walk down to the high street this mroning, last time I struggled to get home without a full panic attack. Am hoping cos it's not so snowy today it will be an easier walk! Hope nana and geek you're doing OK this morning.

[MechanicalTheatre]

Yikes my university seem to be really cracking down on absence. We all have to fill in forms for why we haven't turned up to lectures and I have missed a ton. Feel a bit sick, what if I get thrown off the course?

[Nanabana]

I'm sure you wont get kicked off Mechanical, don't fear the worst. Here for you.. Just take it one step at a time. You weren't missing lectures for any old flimsy reason, I'm sure they'll be sympathetic. Here for you, stay strong

[Nanabana]

Hope your walk went ok ColouringIn.. how are you doing?
Thanks Geeklover, it was a long day.. and so is today, but trying to get my head above water without taking the pressure personally. Anxiety is an arse

[citalobrain]

Hello everyone, I've not been on for a while.

Mechanical if you were honest with them they couldn't throw you off the course could they?

Imagine you'd broken a limb or something, or had tonsilitis, or glandular fever, taking time off would be a given, they shouldn't treat MH any differently. Try not to worry about it, not easy I know, god the anxiety is a bugger isn't it :( Is there someone on the staff that you have a good relationship with that you could talk it through with?

I hopefully come bearing news that may cheer everyone up a bit though I'm just over a month on the pills and I am feeling SO much better!! My anxiety is much less, although it sometimes comes from nowhere and floors me, but honestly, much much less.

I've even committed to some social stuff which a month ago would seriously have been unthinkable! (Not that I've gone yet lol, but just the committing to go is a massive step forward).

The downsides are sleeping problems (but I've always had trouble sleeping so this is no worse really) and the awful awful night sweats. I have to sleep wrapped up in a towel

My appetite has come back and i have no nausea at all.

I hope this gives anyone finding it hard some hope. Those first weeks are surreal at best, and bloody awful at worst, but it really really does get better. I'm finally realising that the person I'd turned into over the past year might not be the real me, fingers crossed!

Take care everyone and hang in there x

[citalobrain]

Cross posts with you nanabana

Just read my post back and when I got to the 'social' part my tummy just turned itself into a big anxious knot, still very much a work in progress then!!

[ColouringInQueen]

Hi citalobrain that's great to hear you're feeling the benefits at last [smiley] like you say tho, work in progress. Hello MT I echo citalobrain, I'm sure if you explain what's going on to one person they'll understand. Hi nana thanks, walk was much better today than Monday - I think the slipperyness (snowy here) really didn't help me then. I am struggling today with if/who/how to explain to friends what's going on with me - there's two mums from school I usually see for coffee every week or two, but haven't all term as I've been feeling so rubbish. I've been invited round this Fri and feeling rather apprehensive about it.

[citalobrain]

Aw Colouringin, it can be so hard can't it?

Do you know what, if it were me, and if you just weren't up to it on Friday, I wouldn't go, and would make whatever excuse if you're not keen on telling them what the problem is.

If you think you should tell them, maybe you can wait until you're feeling better/stronger?

Were you quite happy to meet up when you weren't feeling like this? If you were, I'd say leave it until you're feeling better and more up to it.

This may be bad advice though! I really don't know.

In a way it might have been an easier decision for me up until now as I knew there was no way I could go out, no matter how many times I or other people told me to pull myself together!!

Be kind and gentle to yourself, you will emerge from the fug x

[ColouringInQueen]

Thanks citalobrain - I have cancelled a couple of times and am feeling if I leave it any longer it will just get harder, so am hoping to try and go. My OH did say to one of my friends that I'm not myself at the mo and I think she may have an inkling, the other friend I'm not so sure about. My OH had severe depression last year and she clearly didn't know what to make of it all. It's hard to talk about tho isn't it? When I say that on a good day I sit on the sofa instead of going back to bed it sounds really pathetic! Completely exhausted/permanently bad mood may be an easier way of explaining how I've been... I do miss their company and I know that isolating myself is not helping me either... a broken leg (as my DD has at the mo) would be much easier to explain